Do you hate the terms "nerd", "geek", etc.?
Calling me any of these things would be an easy way to put me in a bad mood, even if you didn't mean it as an insult. I was socialized by the media and by other kids to believe that the only purpose "nerds" serve is to be society's whipping boys, never to achieve happiness and fulfillment, all because of what they're interested in and what they look like. It's at least part of the reason I went through a phase of self-hatred and resentment toward society during my freshman year. Things have definitely gotten better since then, but I still have social anxiety (heck, I can't even talk to fellow "nerds" without getting at least a little nervous). Sometimes I feel as though people forget that "nerds" also have human needs, desires, emotions, etc., in addition to whatever intellect they might have.
From what I can tell, "nerds" don't have as much of a target on their backs as they used to (the 90's and 80's sound like they were hell), but I'm still kind of bitter about how we used to be treated. And I know that, as far as representation, we've never had it as rough as actual minorities- I might not be a "jock", but I'm still a white, straight male -but it frustrates me nonetheless.
It certainly doesn't help that the response most people have to these feelings is "Don't worry, you'll be an amazing programmer/computer person when you grow up!" It's the same as telling a clinically depressed person to "just think positively". Being financially/professionally successful doesn't mean people will like you as a person. I'd rather swim in love than gold coins.
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They say perfection is the ultimate imperfection. Or maybe that's just what I say.
Masakados,
I apologize for my poor wording. I would never assume that being a "nerd" is anywhere near as bad as being clinically depressed. I just meant that those two responses are equally unhelpful; I never meant that the problems they try to solve are on the same level. I hope I didn't worsen your struggles.
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They say perfection is the ultimate imperfection. Or maybe that's just what I say.
I'm part of the Nerd Pride movement.
But it may be easier here, where social success is not as important as it seems to be among teenagers in the US. I have friends who like me the way I am. Not many, but I'm lucky not to live in a society where you are judged by the number of your friends.
Yes, I think many aspects of North American culture are awful.
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Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
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ScarletIbis
Velociraptor
Joined: 10 Aug 2017
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 457
Location: Between Two Speakers
I had someone bold enough to call me weird to my face (people don’t do that as often once I left elementary school). He said, “you are really weird” but in a way that was meant to push my buttons and invoke a reaction. I responded with a genuine “thank you” and he kind of stammered like he didn’t know what to do with himself and walked away confused. Now understand that this person wasn’t exactly a bully but an just a peer that I occasionally had conversations with, we weren’t friends but we weren’t enemies.
I wouldn’t expect the same reaction from a malicious bully though, so be warned.
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Diagnosed: High Functioning ASD 2013
Misdiagnosed (extremely likely): Bipolar II 2012
Feel free to message me if you want
Please understand that everything I write should be read with a grain of salt because I frequently adjust my views based on new information (just read a description of INTP that should explain better than I)
I wouldn’t expect the same reaction from a malicious bully though, so be warned.
Surprisingly, it often works. The bullies want control over you, if you react unexpected way, they don't get what they want and seek a more predictable victim.
Yes, I made the bullies in my school bored with my lack of reaction, so they finally left me alone.
Also a man who assaulted me was so startled by my lack of visible fear that after a surreal conversation he left me alone.
Unusual reaction is a powerful card to play.
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Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
No, I'm actually quite fond of these terms because they tend to be used as positive banter here. One time an argument broke out in my English revision class over who was a nerd, and my teacher interjected "You are all IT students (since we were all studying IT as our main subject), so you are all nerds!". The room went silent for a brief while, followed by some laughter.
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24. Possibly B.A.P.
KatieisaStrangeCreature
Butterfly
Joined: 28 Dec 2017
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: 'Murica, East coast.
Because of my autism and very marked developmental delays I never thought I was that smart, but in my 20s I discovered that I had some potential there. It was forums like this and my diagnosis that helped me see it. So, I was never picked on as a kid. Kids didn't pick on the dumb kids back then. I was so quiet and withdrawn no one talked to me, and I like that just fine.
People did start calling me geek, nerd and weird in my 20s though. I was made fun of by liking Star Trek and when that happened I thought 'hang on, that's cool, and I really don't envy your life.' Since then I've owned my nerd label. I've joined gaming communities, fraternized with all kinds of nerds and geeks including bookworms, comic book lovers, sci-fi fans, sci-fi writers, gamers and astronomers. These are the most interesting kind of people compared to regular folks who are too afraid to like something not approved by the mainstream.
Now when people try to put me down by calling me a nerd I take it as a compliment.
I don't mind. One of my favorite t-shirts even has a huge "GEEK" on it. I am one - so why would it bother me to be called that?
However I dislike it when people use Polish "Kujon" (a person who spends all their days in books in order to get straight A in school) - because I don't waste my time in schoolbooks. My good grades are from being smart. I also dislike being called "Frajer" (I think "pushover" or "lamer" will be accurate translation) because I might be naive but I don't let people walk over me.
I don't hear many people calling me that kind of names though. "Weirdo" is more common. And I don't mind that one either. I am weird so it's true as well.
I am also otaku.
I despise the term. There no such thing as “nerds”, just people who like to play video games and D&D. And theres no such thing as “jocks”, just people who like to play sports. There’s so much more to people than that. And yes, it completely puts people in a box: so called “nerds” should be encouraged to play football, and so called “jocks” should be encouraged to play magic the gathering.
I love the term nerd, and etc personally. I refer to myself as a nerd, and i love having 'nerdy' friends that are into the same things I am. If i were to call people a nerd, or a geek, etc, it would be affectionately. People referred to as geeks, are usually intellectuals, or love learning etc; but they're not that one dimensional. There's no reason to make these negative things. I have never been in an environment where those things were bad, nor would I have cared. Personally I just like to be around people that accept me for who I am, and if they don't , I have no interest in them. It just kind of seems like you came across people who made this a negative thing, when most people actually don't think that way. In terms of younger people, most of them are really immature, and find any reason to be mean to others. They're all idiots, and you really shouldn't take anything people like that say to heart.
I don't really know where you are getting this information that those words mean all those things that you said, I think you've just been made to believe that by people that are not so great people. I don't think it completely puts people in a box or anything. If someone hears the term nerd, and stereotypes a person based on that; that's their problem. There are just people out there, that can't see beyond. They're the kind of people who also just listen to whatever everyone else says, and can't have their own opinion sometimes.
Furthermore, I think I'm a nerd, but I have tons of other interests. I really don't care if there are small minded people out there, who see I have some kind of interest like gaming, comics, etc, and think that is all there is to me. Not everyone's going to like you anyways. I think you need to surround yourself with better, more positive, more mature individuals.I pretty much wouldn't use the media as a reference for anything also.
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