06 Jan 2018, 6:08 pm
10 Jan 2018, 1:12 pm
10 Jan 2018, 1:21 pm
MagicMeerkat wrote:
If you do insist you need a break from hearing about the preferred topic for so long. Make sure you or other people in the house don't talk about the same thing over and over again either. My parents tried to forbid me from talking about my preferred subjects for so long, but they were allowed to talk about the same thing over and over. It only made me confused and angry. I think I'm probably going to resent my mother for the rest of my life for trying to withhold my special interests from me.
I've often thought we should all be given timers like in chess so when someone starts speaking it starts and you listen but then they have to listen to you for the same amount of time.
Colleague, 'I bought my wedding album in to show you how fantastic my wedding was'
Me, switching on timer, 'OK then I'll tell you about all about Richard III'
10 Jan 2018, 1:29 pm
10 Jan 2018, 1:44 pm
kraftiekortie wrote:
Richard III was an interesting character.
People have many notions of him. Good, bad, and indifferent.
It's hard NOT to monologue on that guy.
It was certainly hard for Shakespeare to deny Richard III the opportunity to monologue.
People have many notions of him. Good, bad, and indifferent.
It's hard NOT to monologue on that guy.
It was certainly hard for Shakespeare to deny Richard III the opportunity to monologue.
10 Jan 2018, 8:18 pm
11 Jan 2018, 1:23 am
debianator wrote:
Hello,
My son just doesn’t get the idea or mechanics of conversation. He bounces down stairs, unloads, good or bad thoughts, feelings or the days events and then just bounces back upstairs. He generally has these monologues with everyone.
Problem; he tells me that EVERYONE treats him as though he is annoying, he says that we at home react to him the way kids at school do. I figure if he is aware enough to see this global response then he may be able to hear and understand the reason for this problem but he doesn’t get it, he doesn’t attempt to have two way communication, he simply wants anyone to listen as he rambles on and on about video games. I honestly don’t think he sees how taxing his ramblings are. We as his family listen for awhile, I even play the same video game so we have something in common but I see no way to train him in the art of two way communication
My son just doesn’t get the idea or mechanics of conversation. He bounces down stairs, unloads, good or bad thoughts, feelings or the days events and then just bounces back upstairs. He generally has these monologues with everyone.
Problem; he tells me that EVERYONE treats him as though he is annoying, he says that we at home react to him the way kids at school do. I figure if he is aware enough to see this global response then he may be able to hear and understand the reason for this problem but he doesn’t get it, he doesn’t attempt to have two way communication, he simply wants anyone to listen as he rambles on and on about video games. I honestly don’t think he sees how taxing his ramblings are. We as his family listen for awhile, I even play the same video game so we have something in common but I see no way to train him in the art of two way communication
Most conversations have some level of predictability. This is why programmers are able to program fairly believable chat bots. Your son just needs some basic rules broken down and taught to him.
Let's start with a conversational fundamental.
1. The greeting. Computers do this, and people do to.
Answer these two questions. Before you initiate a conversation with someone, how do you greet them? You likely greet a stranger or someone you run in to out and about differently than you greet a family member when you walk in the room when you have both been home for a while. Greetings usually consist of an acknowledgement and a status check of the other party.
"Hello. How are you?" Sometimes this can be summed up in one phrase, such as "What's new?" children don't always do a status check. Sometimes their greeting will consist of a declaration such as "Guess what happened today!" This makes sense because as dependents, it's more important for children to tell others their status than get the status of others.
2. The rules of the game.
Conversations is a game of back and forth. Buy a ball, and have your son practice this with you. While holding the ball, he makes a statement to which he expects a reply, and then passes the ball to you so you can reply and also make statements. No one should hold the ball for more than a few seconds. He should also seek to solicit at least some information from the other person, but be careful to avoid a common pitfall of the chatty people with ASD...asking too many questions or asking questions that are too personal.
3. The scope.
People on the spectrum tend to say what's on their mind, no matter how random. NTs, however, like to moderate what they say by context. It's entirely ok for him to monologue to his parents but for friends and others, he should keep things in context...though children are more random than adults.
Example, Joe mentions that he likes oranges (a citrust fruit). In response, Amy says she prefers tangerines (also a citrust fruit) to oranges. Timmy says he prefers grapes (not a citrus fruit but still a fruit) and then little Davy chimes in "I like turtles!"
Davy has exceeded the scope of the conversation and gets strange looks from the other children, because the other children understand that Davy's comment was out of context.
11 Jan 2018, 10:30 am
Literal “You won the jack pot bells going off here.”
I have probably heard this context a million times but your verbaige makes it seem you’re standing with us as he speaks.
I am starting to see the logic in the ball tossing game.
He probably experiences the most pain during the last part of your writing. I see him often piping in completely off topic and I can only imagine how that goes over at school.
Chronos wrote:
debianator wrote:
Hello,
My son just doesn’t get the idea or mechanics of conversation. He bounces down stairs, unloads, good or bad thoughts, feelings or the days events and then just bounces back upstairs. He generally has these monologues with everyone.
Problem; he tells me that EVERYONE treats him as though he is annoying, he says that we at home react to him the way kids at school do. I figure if he is aware enough to see this global response then he may be able to hear and understand the reason for this problem but he doesn’t get it, he doesn’t attempt to have two way communication, he simply wants anyone to listen as he rambles on and on about video games. I honestly don’t think he sees how taxing his ramblings are. We as his family listen for awhile, I even play the same video game so we have something in common but I see no way to train him in the art of two way communication
My son just doesn’t get the idea or mechanics of conversation. He bounces down stairs, unloads, good or bad thoughts, feelings or the days events and then just bounces back upstairs. He generally has these monologues with everyone.
Problem; he tells me that EVERYONE treats him as though he is annoying, he says that we at home react to him the way kids at school do. I figure if he is aware enough to see this global response then he may be able to hear and understand the reason for this problem but he doesn’t get it, he doesn’t attempt to have two way communication, he simply wants anyone to listen as he rambles on and on about video games. I honestly don’t think he sees how taxing his ramblings are. We as his family listen for awhile, I even play the same video game so we have something in common but I see no way to train him in the art of two way communication
Most conversations have some level of predictability. This is why programmers are able to program fairly believable chat bots. Your son just needs some basic rules broken down and taught to him.
Let's start with a conversational fundamental.
1. The greeting. Computers do this, and people do to.
Answer these two questions. Before you initiate a conversation with someone, how do you greet them? You likely greet a stranger or someone you run in to out and about differently than you greet a family member when you walk in the room when you have both been home for a while. Greetings usually consist of an acknowledgement and a status check of the other party.
"Hello. How are you?" Sometimes this can be summed up in one phrase, such as "What's new?" children don't always do a status check. Sometimes their greeting will consist of a declaration such as "Guess what happened today!" This makes sense because as dependents, it's more important for children to tell others their status than get the status of others.
2. The rules of the game.
Conversations is a game of back and forth. Buy a ball, and have your son practice this with you. While holding the ball, he makes a statement to which he expects a reply, and then passes the ball to you so you can reply and also make statements. No one should hold the ball for more than a few seconds. He should also seek to solicit at least some information from the other person, but be careful to avoid a common pitfall of the chatty people with ASD...asking too many questions or asking questions that are too personal.
3. The scope.
People on the spectrum tend to say what's on their mind, no matter how random. NTs, however, like to moderate what they say by context. It's entirely ok for him to monologue to his parents but for friends and others, he should keep things in context...though children are more random than adults.
Example, Joe mentions that he likes oranges (a citrust fruit). In response, Amy says she prefers tangerines (also a citrust fruit) to oranges. Timmy says he prefers grapes (not a citrus fruit but still a fruit) and then little Davy chimes in "I like turtles!"
Davy has exceeded the scope of the conversation and gets strange looks from the other children, because the other children understand that Davy's comment was out of context.
