Aspie kid/stepkid relationship building

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Hi folks, I've really enjoyed reading all of the posts out there so thought I would reach out and see if any of you have navigated parenting aspies in a blended family? We have 6YO boy ( mine) and 14 YO girl (my partners) who seemed to get along well when we were dating ( for about 1 1/2 yrs)and they had time away from one another but now that were all under one roof together with all of the change for both of them its tense at best, each has thier set of "rules" for the other and eveyones hair trigger is on. They are both great kids with big hearts, the younger one is very extroverted (ie: boundaries and volume) and the older is very introverted. Has anyone else helped thier aspie kiddo/ stepkiddo get through family blending?

I don't have a blended family or more than one child, so my advice may not be too terrific, but I did not want you to feel ignored.

From what you posted, it sounds like both children got along fine when not sharing a living space, so what I would do is try to make sure they both are able to have lots and lots of alone time. That may be hard given that the youngest is the extrovert with boundary issues and may not understand why his new sister needs to be alone so much. That said, maybe the gap in ages will make it easier and he can be distracted with special interests.

I know you probably want them to spend more time with each other, not less, but especially during the transition, I think it will go better if they both have their spaces.