Spouse and children as "credentials" of adulthood

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Benjamin the Donkey
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11 Jan 2018, 10:37 pm

Over the years, several people have remarked that I talk a lot about my wife and sons--far more than most husbands or fathers do. I think I may be doing it to offer credentials of adulthood, since I don't really feel like a normal, responsible adult and fear I often don't come across as one. "See? I may seem weird, but I have a real family! And I provide for them! And they love me! Just like a regular person!"

Does this sound familiar to anyone else?


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MrsPeel
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12 Jan 2018, 2:17 am

Kind of.
I don't talk about my family much, but when I'm feeling particularly useless, I tell myself that having a husband and kids and holding down a job means I'm actually doing OK. It helps with my self-worth, I suppose.

It can also back-fire, because I often have trouble doing the whole wife and mother thing, and that makes me feel useless again.

But overall, having kids who love and depend on me is good for self-esteem, I've found, and they keep me grounded.



MaxE
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15 Jan 2018, 10:37 am

+1


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Tibergrace
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15 Jan 2018, 11:23 pm

I definitely think having children is viewed as a "credential" for adulthood.

I say this as someone who is physically incapable of having children, who spent years working in elementary schools. It's like a milestone of maturity.



mrshappyhands
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17 Jan 2018, 5:34 am

I feel that way on a regular basis.