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GiantHockeyFan
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20 Feb 2018, 7:24 am

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:
What are some signs of interest that would be obvious, even when they intend to show none? I assume subtle cues may appear anyways.

The biggest thing is to watch the eyes: it's not a 100% thing but if her pupils dilate that is a good sign. Not all women show this though: my wife certainly did not. Also keep an eye on if she enters your personal space and touches you on the arm more than once: that's usually a good sign too. Unfortunately women are very subtle by nature and this is a skill you will have to work on.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Feb 2018, 8:18 am

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What are some signs of interest that would be obvious, even when they intend to show none? I assume subtle cues may appear anyways.


If she initiates texting with you frequently, that's the strongest unmistakable sign. Women simply don't pull out their phone, and tap on a guy contact just to text him 'Good morning" just for the sake of friendship, unless they are asking for a favor or they are coordinating with him on some group outing.

In my experience, women almost never initiate chatting with male friends for no reason unless there's romance interst, so when they do it frequently with one it means there's more to it than friendship ( and I always turn out to be right on this one, 100% of the times).



kraftiekortie
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20 Feb 2018, 11:10 am

Laughing at your stupid jokes is usually a sign of interest.

And not going off the deep end if you make some sort of subtly "sexist" remark.



yellowtamarin
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20 Feb 2018, 5:20 pm

314pe wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Try to talk to you one-on-one even when in a group.

Frequently initiate contact outside of group. For example, if your classmate asked you to compare notes... at lakeside... during sunset, then she might have romantic interest in you.

Hahaha yes. Though I'd say that's leaning towards a more direct move than a subtle or subconscious hint ;)



sly279
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20 Feb 2018, 6:51 pm

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I’m not allowed to ask most women out.

Yeah I see no reason women can’t ask men out. I wish if some woman likes me she’d ask me out cause I’ll never ask her.

Why are you not allowed?

I’m not good enough. I don’t meet their requirements of having my life together(good job, car, home), being attractive, thin, athletic, or being dominant. As they say I’m not a real man.



sly279
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20 Feb 2018, 6:54 pm

314pe wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Yeah I see no reason women can’t ask men out. I wish if some woman likes me she’d ask me out cause I’ll never ask her.

If a girl will be into you, she will let you know. It will be very obvious. If you did not notice it then either nobody showed interest or you ignored it (irrationally perhaps).

It really does not matter if a girl is doing the asking or not, because it is always very obvious when a girl is really interested.


From what I’ve been told, women when interested just flirt but in ways they can hide it if you look their way Incase you don’t like them. Which means they make it really hard to know they like you while hoping you do like them and somehow notice despite trying to hid it.
A few times my sister claimed female cashiers were flirting with me. O.o

There are no signs. One girl seemed to be flirting with me but she rejected me so clearly was just friendly and touchy. So the only way to be obvious would be them just out and saying they like me. I doubt any but the most confident social outgoing women would do that.
Also I’m.not attractive at all so women would never be interested in me.



GiantHockeyFan
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21 Feb 2018, 7:39 am

314pe wrote:
It really does not matter if a girl is doing the asking or not, because it is always very obvious when a girl is really interested.

Not to this Aspie it wasn't. I never clued in that a female coworker who was 20 (I was 21) was into me when she not only used to sit and talk with me during lunch break but even told me about a personal medical condition she had (not serious but very painful and not something you share with many people). Women who aren't into you don't do those things but I was utterly clueless! As well, there was a girl who was probably Aspie herself that worked at the local gym. She obviously knew a lot about me (ironically enough one of her coworkers also worked with me when I was 21) and more than once 'accidently' bumped into me. By the time I clued in it was too late and she rejected my advances, probably assuming they weren't real by that point. That's just the two that I know of and God knows how many I didn't even notice: I even had another female coworker literally jump into my lap while showing off a cheerleading move.

I also had two female nurses who knew I was married make very blatant comments about what they thought of me: no doubt if I were single they would have been more subtle and I would not have noticed. Finally, my crazy ex told me I was being checked out all the time and I assumed it was one of her delusions until my very sane wife said almost the exact same thing word for word: even with all my experience and knowledge I still don't see it.



Patrick64
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21 Feb 2018, 8:01 am

Most of the time, the guy has to initiate, but now even if a guy initiates, he has to risk being considered a creep or harasser. Some girls are nice when they reject a guy, and others are outright rude. So, if society came to where now the girls had to ask the guys out, I believe most girls would have trouble.



RetroGamer87
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26 Feb 2018, 12:11 am

So has the OP asked out her crush yet?


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WantToHaveALife
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02 Mar 2018, 3:19 pm

this burden will probably always remain on the guys shoulders for the most part until the end of time, if guys view something as a burden, we get labeled as having a victim mentality, but the other way around, not as much.



SummerAndSmoke
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04 Mar 2018, 1:02 pm

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Women can go on dating sites and get lots of matches and messages.


It is a myth that women get lots of matches and messages. In truth, only the most photogenic women end up being bombarded with attention online. According to OKCupid's data, male users tend to devote the vast majority of their efforts toward the very best-looking people on the site. All of the chicks I know struggle just as much on dating apps as men do.



yellowtamarin
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04 Mar 2018, 7:29 pm

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
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Women can go on dating sites and get lots of matches and messages.


It is a myth that women get lots of matches and messages. In truth, only the most photogenic women end up being bombarded with attention online. According to OKCupid's data, male users tend to devote the vast majority of their efforts toward the very best-looking people on the site. All of the chicks I know struggle just as much on dating apps as men do.

Interesting use of the word 'struggle' there. I imagine I'd struggle to have dating success if I was bombarded with messages, but I don't struggle because I get only a small amount. The quality ratio of the messages is quite satisfactory, whereas if my photos made me look stereotypically photogenic, I would get a whole heap of crap matches and likely nothing or hardly anything from the people I wanted to attract, and I probably couldn't be bothered trying to wade through all the junk to find the jewels.

Of course, I could send messages myself (to bring this back on topic a bit), but still I imagine I'd get a lower response rate, due to my 'good looks' not appealing to my type.



314pe
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05 Mar 2018, 2:28 am

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
All of the chicks I know struggle just as much on dating apps as men do.

Most men struggle to get dates and most women struggle to get the dates they want. There's a small subset of women who struggle to get any dates at all, however. If you are a conventionally unattractive aspie guy then you should focus on that latter group of women. If you think about dating rationally then it makes a lot of sense. If you are conventionally unattractive then date conventionally unattractive people.



sly279
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05 Mar 2018, 2:50 am

314pe wrote:
SummerAndSmoke wrote:
All of the chicks I know struggle just as much on dating apps as men do.

Most men struggle to get dates and most women struggle to get the dates they want. There's a small subset of women who struggle to get any dates at all, however. If you are a conventionally unattractive aspie guy then you should focus on that latter group of women. If you think about dating rationally then it makes a lot of sense. If you are conventionally unattractive then date conventionally unattractive people.

And if ugly women won’t even date you?
But how do you date someone you find unattractive?



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Mar 2018, 2:56 am

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
Quote:
Women can go on dating sites and get lots of matches and messages.


It is a myth that women get lots of matches and messages. In truth, only the most photogenic women end up being bombarded with attention online. According to OKCupid's data, male users tend to devote the vast majority of their efforts toward the very best-looking people on the site. All of the chicks I know struggle just as much on dating apps as men do.



I don't believe so, all the average-looking women i met showed me how many tons and tons of messages and matches they get. Some of them even didn't put any photo.

And they were very average-looking women.

Now, a model-like woman may get like 1000 messages per month (from the entire world), while a conventionally unattractive woman may get 50 messages per month (mostly local), the latter is still a lot - much more than even a model-like looking male would ever get.

Check model male vs obese woman tinder experiments , there are plenty of those on youtube.



yellowtamarin
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05 Mar 2018, 3:20 am

^ I get fewer messages than that. But I'm just some weird anomaly. :roll: