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Aaendi
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18 Feb 2018, 12:13 pm

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
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Welcome to the male world, being rejected is part of the experience.


I really don't see what this has to do with the male or female world. Women get just as much rejection, they just complain less.


Well men don't usually complain about women making them feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying all women respond that way, but a lot do.



AnneOleson
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18 Feb 2018, 1:50 pm

Has he stopped texting you too?



SummerAndSmoke
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18 Feb 2018, 2:07 pm

It's been a couple weeks since he texted me. He seemed happy to see me when I arrived late in class the other night, but that might've just been him being a friendly nice person.



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Feb 2018, 2:40 pm

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
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Welcome to the male world, being rejected is part of the experience.


I really don't see what this has to do with the male or female world. Women get just as much rejection, they just complain less. Usually I try to just focus on my work and not think too much about other people..... after all, I know they won't be thinking about me. If no one's going to pay attention to me, I'm gonna make sure that I'm the one doing so 100%. But damn, there was something about this guy that just really made me feel like I had to sit up and look more closely. I really thought that he was different, and I see now how worthless it was to have been hopeful about that.



Your very thread title has to do with two worlds.



SummerAndSmoke
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18 Feb 2018, 3:08 pm

Rejection takes a myriad of different forms, my friend. This person has conveyed that he doesn't want to do anything with me in spite of the fact that I never once asked him out on a date.



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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18 Feb 2018, 4:08 pm

Sounds like it's an issue with him not you. I would not feel any impulse to to be rude unless they were forcing unreasonable expectations on me like if the girl is just an acquaintance yet starts talking to me about "our wedding," "our kids" that we're apparently going to have or calls me boyfriend all completely out of the blue. Like stuff that doesn't make any sense and makes me really uncomfortable, or stuff that's rude/overly forward.

Especially within larger social group being a jerk really isn't the wise thing to do as it will affect his reputation.


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SummerAndSmoke
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18 Feb 2018, 4:58 pm

I have no impulse to be rude to him because I'm not angry. Just really really really sad. Oh well. Life will go on as usual.



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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18 Feb 2018, 6:07 pm

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
I have no impulse to be rude to him because I'm not angry. Just really really really sad. Oh well. Life will go on as usual.

Sorry I was meaning that it seemed to me like he is being rude and saying that I as a male pretty much never feel as though I ought to get rude. Only if I am sure they are asking ironically, as a joke, as an ego booster or simply with the hopes that it'll mean free stuff. As in, when it is clear to me that they don't actually have any real interest in me. I will be rude only when their "interest" is actually a mean joke or they only want to use me.

It does not appear to me that you have done anything wrong, everything you did is well within normal just showing indicators of interest. What is abnormal is him having a negative reaction towards that.


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AnneOleson
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18 Feb 2018, 9:00 pm

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
Rejection takes a myriad of different forms, my friend. This person has conveyed that he doesn't want to do anything with me in spite of the fact that I never once asked him out on a date.

But did he really convey that he didn’t want anything to do with you? Im guessing you worked on one scene with him, and before that scenes with other people. Maybe he is trying to take full advantage of the course and work with as many different people as he can. Perhaps in a couple of weeks you could text him and say how much you had enjoyed your conversations while working with him and ask if he’d like to meet for coffee sometime.



SummerAndSmoke
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18 Feb 2018, 9:29 pm

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Maybe he is trying to take full advantage of the course and work with as many different people as he can.


If that was the case, why didn't he just tell me so? If he was trying to take full advantage of the course and planned different scenes with different people, I don't see why he couldn't have just given me a straightforward answer. There would've been nothing awkward about "sorry, but I'm not available for anything more in this round of class. I'm tied up in my work with so-and-so right now and I have something else scheduled with so-and-so after that."

I called him up last week and asked him if he wanted to get up a piece for the last class in March. He told me he wasn't sure exactly what he had coming up, and let's talk more about it in class. I mentioned it again in class, and he said the same thing. Then, during the break I overheard him talking with this other girl and making arrangements to do something for that day. At the end of the evening, I asked whether he was available to do something in April. He replied once more, "I don't know what's up ahead for me in April." I suggested we could maybe discuss it over the weekend, and he said "or even next week."

His repeated evasiveness (he shut down the conversation in three different instances) makes it pretty obvious that he really isn't wanting to work with me anymore. I don't know what changed our dynamic or if the rapport was even real to begin with (if I look at everything within the context of this recent behavior, there's a good chance that the whole time he was just trying to be nice to me). But whatever it is, it really really hurts. I know that this person is not important in my acting journey, but for the first time in years I seriously allowed myself to believe we were becoming friends.



AnneOleson
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18 Feb 2018, 10:15 pm

I see what you mean. It does seem best to let it go for now. But still, maybe in a few weeks suggest a coffee.



Loner269
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18 Feb 2018, 10:56 pm

Ohh, a woman got rejected once in her lifetime. Now she will probably never attempt to make the first move again and call all men pigs. Seriously, these women have no idea what men must go through when trying to find someone.



SummerAndSmoke
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18 Feb 2018, 11:08 pm

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Ohh, a woman got rejected once in her lifetime.


I would say I've been rejected by almost every single person in every single social situation I've been in, starting from preschool. Literally never had one single friend in my entire lifetime. It is so rare that anyone displays any interest in interacting with me beyond the required bare minimum that I suppose when it does happen, I become inordinately hopeful.



AngelRho
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18 Feb 2018, 11:19 pm

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
Quote:
Ohh, a woman got rejected once in her lifetime.


I would say I've been rejected by almost every single person in every single social situation I've been in, starting from preschool. Literally never had one single friend in my entire lifetime. It is so rare that anyone displays any interest in interacting with me beyond the required bare minimum that I suppose when it does happen, I become inordinately hopeful.

Meh...ignore the haters on here. Guys on WP have had so much rejection when it appears that women don’t have the same problem. So when a woman does have a problem with rejection, rather than sympathy they dole out hate.

Ignore them.

What I can’t understand is if it means that much to them, why aren’t they asking you out instead of trotting out the old “women have it better” sawhorse?



SummerAndSmoke
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18 Feb 2018, 11:27 pm

I've never really understood this whole "dating is easier for women" concept. It's true that men are expected to make the initial overture, but in a sense, that gives them the power to choose...... if you're female, your only options are whatever floats in your direction. Well what happens, then, if almost every guy ignores you? Then you're just s**t out of luck. I think the only women who "have it easier" are the ones with flawless social skills, or they're the sorority type chicks who happen to have zillions of guys all around them.



yellowtamarin
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19 Feb 2018, 3:35 am

^ I don't care about the men first expectation. If I want something I'll attempt to go after it. There's always that option. Might still result in rejection but it's worth trying, IMO.