Worried about online friend who hasn't responded in a week

Post Reply New Topic

Yeah but the thing is that she constantly didn't keep her promise of talking to me later & being busy as evident by the screenshots she sent me of her chatting with the other guy during times she says she's "busy" & not getting back to me unless I send a new message. Therefore making it seem like she doesn't care to talk to me very much over her other friends. That is what caused my anxiety. Which then led me to check the always online thing.

With her though she would usually be offline, then check messages. The thing i noticed was what seems like back & forth texting. Aka, going online, then offline, and back on, when she told me she was "busy"

I am very tech savvy so I know how all that works. Discord is very buggy in delivering messages. On the mobile app, you won't receive notifications if you are actively chatting with someone. This is something I constantly told her & would always tell her to check if she received messages from me but it never seemed to get through to her. And unlike other apps, it didn't have a number indicating amount of messages.

It just proved that she didn't really care to put much effort into our relationship.

I also can't tell the difference between acquaintence, friend, etc. I told her I like her about a month or so into our chatting. Though, we knew what each other looked like by then, etc. She reacted positively. I do feel like I tried to quickly with her, but I feel like if I didn't, she'll lose interest or something.

Last edited by super boy 44 on 15 Feb 2018, 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah and she changed her number & discord account, possibly to avoid me. The last message she read from me was on facebook last month and it was me asking if she still had the correct address & shipped her gift she said she got for me. It was the second time I've asked and received no response to it. The 2nd time she just stopped talking to me altogether. I only asked a valid question. I sent her a gift & a letter because she felt special to me. I guess not.

What is telegram? and I only ever got on discord just to chat with her as she suggested it to me, so I dont have anyone else there or groups, etc, besides my brother.

I do go to school but only a few days out the week as I primarily take online courses. I'm usually stuck home due to a disability that prevents me from driving & therefore never leave unless I have to in which I'll take an uber. I am in a school club that doesn't meet often.

Ouch! Then she really isn't worthy of you and especially if you spent money on her like that by sending her a gift. Really, you never met her in person so and only knew her online. For all we know, she could be one of those people who are fickle and are only there because they want something. Believe me, you don't want that as a friend or a girlfriend.


Telegram is another chat application that is similar to Discord

Also, I don't drive either but are there any busses in the area that you could take? If you, you could try getting involved with Meet-up.com and find events related to your interests and meet people there. Believe me, there are lots of people out there who will treat you a lot better than the way she did.

Yeah, I guess. I even questioned whether she *really* liked me or not at times. It was fun to play games & such with her for a while. But deep down she can come off as very selfish & rude. We have skyped before but never met.

As for the gift, she told me she bought it & would send it when it arrives. Though this was before her ignoring me & telling me she's busy. I gave her a gift because I wanted to. She didn't even say thank you. She just acknowledged what it was and said she liked it when I asked if she did.

Oh okay.

Well, there are buses but they aren't reliable here. I hope there will be someone better out there. I just really suck at introducing myself unless someone else initiates.

I will be going to my school club all weekend so this should be fun. I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully I'll meet some new people.

Just posting in here to see how you’re doing. Hopefully the hurt is a little better.

Well, I'm still slightly mad but I was doing fine until I found a post on a website where she talked bad about me, anonymously but I knew it was about me. It was as to why she ignored me. All off the misunderstandings I had that I didn't get a chance to clear up. I hate that I come off as very clingy. I just have anxiety where i'll assume someone doesnt like me much if i don't talk to them constantly like i did with her.

You have a right to be angry and hurt her and I don't blame you. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up because of someone who doesn't really like you. Again, it means that she wasn't a real friend and wasn't worthy of you. Understand that there is something wrong with her. It also means she is not capable of being a good friend.

For one thing, if she was a good friend, then she would have been upfront with you a long time ago by saying, "I really like you and enjoy spending time with you. I just feel that you sometimes get too clingy and then she would let you know how and when to contact her."

Rather, I am getting the vibes that she's drama and could be one of those people who latches onto you for a little while just to get information so she can gossip and badmouth you.

On that site she talked about me, she said she doubted that I like her & said i told her too soon. If I didn't like her, even as just a friend, I damn sure wouldn't have made the effort to talk to her or anything for as long as I did.

There was a reason why I started becoming more clingy, etc. I mentioned the full story in a post last week on here but it involved her saying she'll talk to me later because she was busy. She did not even talk to me that night until the next day, when I sent her a message. She sent me a screenshot of a chat with another online friend of their roleplaying of game characters to show me how it's done as we were going to do that for the first time & it took place when she told me she'll be "busy".

That made me start questioning whether she likes me or not. It also wasn't the first time that she said she'd talk to me later & didn't until I sent a message. It was just the first evidence. Her excuses would usually be that she forgot. I never brought up the screenshots although I feel like I should have.

She never would let me know when it's best to contact her and I agree that she at least should have. Whenever I'd ask if the times I message her were bad, or if i was being annoying, she would usually say "No, you're fine" Apparently I wasn't fine if this is how she ended things.

She wasn't interested from the start

I had a "Friend" who were like that before finally dropping me.
1. I associated with someone during childhood for a while but didn't really like me because I "I talked too much." I also held limited conversations in topics revolving around Disney which bothered her yet, she and her family didn't tell me there was a problem. Rather:
A. I could call and she would tell me she was busy watching this show and would call me back but never did. When I confronted her, I got silly responses. "I had to drink this special milk."
B. Several times I was set to sleep over but something would come up and they would bail. "I am not grounded or anything but my grandparents are here and you can't come over now, bye!"
C. She would behind her friends by saying that "They didn't like me," because I "Talked too much," or "I was too hyper."

We reconnected a few times and during the first reconnection, she still wasn't that interested in me, after 2 and a half years.
1. When I went to visit after not seeing her, she had a guy friend over and also spoke on the phone to other friends right in front of me.
2. Several times I would call, I would get the gerbil from her, "Hi, I am I am good but can you call back in the next 15 minutes? I have to wash the dishes!" Then I would call back and she would continue her dialogue or supposedly wasn't there."

People these days are so manipulative in terms of not being interested in you because they are concerned of "Hurting our feelings."

She was actually the one who initiated with me & things took off from there.

She was actually the one who initiated with me & things took off from there.[/quote}

I am not fond of someone giving me mixed signals like that.

Though she could have reached out and was interested at first but then lost her interest because she felt like you were too "Clingy."

I am a lot similar in the limited topics thing. Growing up I had difficulties making friends because of that. Old Video Games & old Computer stuff being the number 1 thing, among other weird ones.

As far as excuses go, I got the typical I was immensely busy, etc. Nothing crazy like your former friend's.

I didn't know her other (online) friends, or her family, and as far as I knew, she didn't mention much about me to any of them, except her mom back when we first started talking. Again, we never met but have skyped and there were no excuses or cancellations made from her part. In fact, the cancelations were more from my end like when I had a project due for school on the day we planned to skype. Her response would usually be "it's fine " possibly because she didn't care & had other people to talk to or something.

As for the possibility of reconnecting with her, I don't think it'll ever happen & I don't know if I want to anymore. She removed me from facebook, got a new discord, and a new phone number. Those were our 3 main contact methods. I do still have her on skype but she doesn't log into that & hasn't since we last went on it back in early December. She is also still subscribed to my YouTube & possibly still has my email address but we haven't used those since our early days of chatting.

I feel like she didn't want to "hurt my feelings" either, by ignoring me, but she deleted me and that did hurt.

As for you, I hope things are a bit better. I honestly hope you aren't trying to contact her anymore after reconnecting multiple times to failed results.

There’s many other people out there.

If you obsess over this, this will be a turn-off to future people.

Even without you telling them, people seem to have a sense that you are obsessing over someone.

I would just consider this lesson learned.

All of this happened in the mid 90's to early 2000's. She met her first boyfriend about two years after she pulled a lot of her stunts on me and that's when she made it clear in so many hints that she wasn't interested in me and didn't really want to associate with me. Honestly, she has been this way towards me since.

Yes, we reconnected about four time times but during the third and fourth is when I realized that this friendship was toxic because she and her mother would constantly put me down. What's more is that her mother had a bad temper and said nasty things. She also has chosen to make some really bad choices that involved criminal activity along with lying all the time.

The end of number 4 was a really bad experience where I had a nasty run-in with her mother is that she had one of her temper tantrums along with thinking that she could abuse me. So I finally tried to set boundaries and when that failed, I lost my temper.

Yes, I talked to her on a few occasions on the phone several years later after the forth reconnection failed yet again. However, I felt like I had out matured and outgrown her in so many ways. This was along with feeling that the conversations were superficial and made me feel icky.

I have since met different people and like them much better.

I am so sorry that happened to you. She should have been more honest with you rather than mislead you. She sounds like a cruel and sadistic person without an ounce of compassion. It's rather unfortunate the world seems to reward those types of people, that lack remorse.