Talking to himself
I am not a big talker, in fact I may have a disorder because people that monologue but think they are having a conversation literally drive me to anger.
Well, my son would talk to himself almost ALL the time if I didn’t tell him to be quiet.
Any parents or Auties ever deal with this to a comfortable solution?
How old is your son?
Many of the manifestations of autism overlap with the effects of solitary confinement. You will find "talking to oneself" as one of the effects of solitary confinement. See item (13) on the list in: http://solitarywatch.com/2011/02/21/aclu-urges-un-to-take-action-on-solitary-confinement-in-the-united-states/. It is of course lonely when people around you don't share your interests. If you start to share the same interests of your son, that goes a long way. But then, I know you are busy.
For immediate stopping of self-talking, you can simply show a mirror to your son so he can look at his own face. But that's just a temporary band-aid. To permanently cut off self-talking, you'll need something else.
If your son is 12 or above, you can give him a simple digital voice recorder. I stress on "simple" because most digital voice recorders out there have way too many features. The simpler, the better. Oh, smartphones are not good, because you need to press too many buttons. He will record his thoughts (a few seconds are enough) when he is self-talking. Then, he will replay it at a totally different moment and sort out himself, hopefully in some nice and memorable places. Taking a walk in the park might be good idea, for instance. Or go watch sunset. Or go to a ice cream or frozen yogurt shop. Things like that. Next time he talks to himself, he will remind himself about those memorable places and what he was doing, and what he has told himself back then. That's all. He can do all this on his own. Easy.
Take a look at these articles:
http://www.eikonabridge.com/AMoRe.pdf
http://www.eikonabridge.com/anxiety.pdf
Autism means giant dewdrops at some specific spots inside the brain. The mind is focused on certain thoughts or sensory stimuli. Nothing you do at the moment will help, because you would be reinforcing the feedback loop. What you need to do is to create a "space-time wormhole tunnel" to connect your experience at one given moment with your experience at a totally different moment. Once that tunnel is established, the energy of your brain can now flow to other thoughts. A voice recorder comes in handy for that purpose. Without a voice recorder, it's very hard to achieve the same outcome.
I talk to myself a lot.
I'm adult, have a decent job, founded a family.
Talking to myself helps me to focus.
I know some other people find it distracting or annoying. I try not to do it next to them but sometimes I just forget.
Can you simply ask your son to go to a different room if it annoys you?
_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
I talk to myself a lot too. I don't do it out loud in public but when I've done it a little bit at some places of work it has really annoyed some, not all, colleagues. I assumed they were annoyed because they saw it as wrong but they might have been irritated with it, I don't know because I stopped when they made it clear they didn't appreciate it.
When I am out in public I talk to myself in my head, whole conversations and scenarios, maybe your son could try this. I think it would take a bit of practice if he doesn't usually do it. I talk out loud at home because it's still better but then nobody's here to hear me
_________________
climate change petition, please sign
Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.
Autistic kids do not always distinguish what they think from what they say. They tend to think out loud. You probably will not like this, but developmentally it is good thing for him to monologue. You can try to engage him in reciprocal conversation about the things he monologues about some of the time, but he is still going to have this need. When you absolutely need quiet, you can try asking him to lower the volume or something.
Often my brain needs quiet, so I understand the need. You may want to go in a different room and use noise cancelling headphones or white noise for those times. it is not uncommon for parents of autistic children to have certain sensory needs too b/c of genetics and sometimes those sensory needs conflict with each other or with something like monologues.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
My AS son talks to himself nonstop if there's no one else to talk to, just as I did at his age. I still do it now and then, but almost always when alone. For many of us, it's part of the package.
_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."
I used to talk to myself a lot when I was little. Not just ranting and rambling, let alone thinking out loud---which even some NTs do on occasion---but actual call-and-response dialog. Like, asking a question or making a statement, and immediately responding to it. I did it most frequently after a bad day at preschool or a painful medical procedure, but also pretty much any time. By early elementary school, I "graduated" to singing made-up songs to myself or reciting previously heard song lyrics. Both of which I did too quietly for people around me to hear (at least so I thought).
OP, how does your son talk to himself? Like I did, or the more typical rambling and/or echolalia?
My son talks to, with, at, every and any activity. If he is cooking pancakes, he talks to the pan, pancake, etc. When he walks the dog he talks to the dog, which is cool, he talks to the dogs harness and of course he tells us about three times that he is going to walk the dog. If he is watching TV he talks to the actors, etc..........
OP, how does your son talk to himself? Like I did, or the more typical rambling and/or echolalia?
Is your son old enough to have a cell phone? If so, he can get away with talking to himself because onlookers will think he's on a cell phone. Or if he talks to himself on a train or in a busy urban area, people simply won't care. I've ridden a train looking like a mess and quietly singing to myself, and nobody looked at me twice. It's harder for your son, though: for some reason, people judge kids harder than they judge adults.
I'll second that. It's more like "talking in imaginary/pretend play" and not like "talking to oneself."
Talking to toys:
https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/children-parenting-190/primary-school-age-4-11-years-60/608066-talking-toys-normal-not.html
Imaginary friends: 65% of children invent imaginary friends and talk to them
https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/school-age/why-kids-invent-imaginary-friends/
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Do not feel like talking |
03 Apr 2024, 1:04 am |
People talking in work |
02 Mar 2024, 4:52 pm |