CannibalCorpse wrote:
In every healthy relationships sex plays a big part, unless you are both asexual. If one or both of you are fat, you will have no stamina, no fitness to have an actually satisfying sexlife. You just can't do it because of the physical barriers.
By the way this question just reminded me to a guy I dated a couple of times. He was not morbidly obese but like 4-5 stones overweight and very tall. When we got into bed, he basically just lay down and waited for me to do something but I couldn't even sit on him as my knees didn't touch the mattress. It was impossible. So yes, there is a "too fat to date"
Instead of excuses why don't you just start moving?
I know it's hard, hard to motivate yourself but you will be way better off slimmer.
(I know beacuse I'm in the same shoes and spending 1-2 hours in the gym every day)
Just...WOW! I’m having a hard time getting a mental image of that and not sure I can.
Re gym for 2 hours, yes, that’s what it takes. I finished my first ever half marathon a week ago today. I took the week before off and concentrated on getting more iron in my diet. Spent this week recovering. In just two weeks and staying out of the gym I’ve gained 10 pounds.
I’m going to do another half in April and start training on Monday. I feel I’m at my best if I can burn 2000 calories a day. I wasn’t as prepared for this one as I wanted to be, so mild muscle spasms crept in after I crossed the finish line. Sprinting for two city blocks probably didn’t help, either. And then the nausea...
But as far as motivation goes, I went from 235lb doing a slow walk around the track at the park for 2.5 miles every day to running one half and planning another with an eye to a full marathons and triathlons in the future. It has taken me 5 years to get here, and 5 years ago I had no intention of taking up distance running. Now I’m like...ok, I’m NEVER doing that agai—oh look, another race!
What has worked best for motivating me has been setting clear goals. Not to lose weight, not to run for fitness, because those often aren’t tangible or measurable within any given time frame. To lose weight, I weighed the spiritual effects of eating—what I need versus what I want. So I did a water fast and spent time in meditation and prayer. I also had a time frame for the fast. And when it was over, I no longer felt compelled to eat like I used to because I tackled the reasons for overeating. I eat whatever and however much I want NOW as long as I’m training, but that has a purpose behind it. Food is a tool for fueling workouts before and recovery after. But if I’m not in that phase, I keep pleasurable consumption to a minimum.
Fitness goals are often hard to SEE. Cardio endurance doesn’t exactly help me as a teacher or musician. Deep, slow, controlled breathing keeps me calm and my core muscles help me play the clarinet better. But that doesn’t require that much concentration by itself. But if I’m looking at my next 10k or a half, the thought process is different. I have until April 7. What is the halfway point? Where does my heart rate need to be by then? How long do my workouts need to be to achieve that goal? I’m in the Mississippi Delta, so do I need to drive into the hills to train (minimum 1 hour drive east)? What is the average temp/humidity I should expect? So with every step, every heartbeat, every breath, every half hour on a treadmill or cardio machine, every hour on the track, every mile on the road, my mind is monitoring each one of those things and looking ahead to race day. I’m already running it in my head and hoping there won’t be any surprises.
You’re going to burn calories and drop massive amounts of weight. You’re going to build up SOME muscle mass. You’re going to feel pain and experience minor injuries you have to correct. But that’s just all part of it. There will be obstacles along the way. Bad days and bad weeks. Why does my knee hurt? Is my foot supposed to do that? Where did that toenail abscess come from? And why am I bleeding from THERE???***. But each step is a step towards a goal. And then you achieve that goal—for me, running a road race—you’re left wondering “what was so hard about that?” My first half was so easy compared to what I thought it would be, and that has been more encouraging and motivating than anything.
***there’s a diff between pain of adapting to a strenuous activity and serious injury. Prior to my first 10k, I learned to apply Vaseline generously. Over time, though, it wasn’t enough and ruined my clothes, so I learned better products to use and what to stick tape on. So if you ever ask “Why does THAT hurt?” it’s best, as embarrassing as it is, to figure out how to fix it right away. Slightly sore knees are normal. You’re adapting. Anything beyond that, take a day off and see if it improves. Chest pain—ok, your heart is getting stronger as are your lungs. Palpitations? Ease up for a little while. Spreading into your left arm? Call the people. My injuries have all been the kinds of things that clear up after a day or two. My knees started to go when I doubled my distance without any preparation, and cross-training on cardio machines corrected that almost IMMEDIATELY. No other injuries that would keep me from running—just things that make running miserable. So I keep these in my running bag: petroleum jelly, Body Glide, waterproof adhesive tape, tech shorts and shirt, and armband for iPhone (I need music) with earbuds already wrapped. Deal with pain/discomfort with a little prep to make it as comfortable as you can and you’ll stay motivated until you reach your goal. Once you reach that goal, you’ll want to do it AGAIN. And AGAIN. And you’ll keep at and set new goals because you know you CAN. That’s the best motivation of all.
25 Jan 2018, 9:03 pm
