For those of you wo were wondering, I'm not dead yet.

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Fogman
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23 Jan 2018, 5:19 pm

For those of you who werer wondering If I had died, I'm quite alive.

I was diagnosed with Stage 4-B Colorectal cancer on Sept 12, last year, and have opted out of a long regimen of poisoning myself with Chemo drugs because that will give me a 15% chance of being alive 5 years from now.

I have instead moved to Vermont, and will be having my first doctors visit to go through with VT. Article 39, which is Vermonts' Voluntary Euthanasia law. --It seems to be the best option that I have available and will in turn produce the least amount of suffering in the long run.


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smudgedhorizon
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24 Jan 2018, 7:44 am

Good luck with your treatment!


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bobaspie2015
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24 Jan 2018, 8:04 am

OMG, are you really down that road?
Hang in there man.



Fogman
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24 Jan 2018, 9:16 am

bobaspie2015 wrote:
OMG, are you really down that road?
Hang in there man.



Yup, I'm really on that road. If this Article 39 thing goes through, I'll be outta here in maybe a month. --before I do this though, I will update my profile and Sig with my birth a death dates.

Hanging in there really isn't an option with this, and therer are no happy endings with this particular cancer at this level of metastasis --Voluntary euthanasia is probably the least painful thing to do.


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Turtleton
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25 Jan 2018, 12:51 am

Fogman wrote:
For those of you who werer wondering If I had died, I'm quite alive.

I was diagnosed with Stage 4-B Colorectal cancer on Sept 12, last year, and have opted out of a long regimen of poisoning myself with Chemo drugs because that will give me a 15% chance of being alive 5 years from now.

I have instead moved to Vermont, and will be having my first doctors visit to go through with VT. Article 39, which is Vermonts' Voluntary Euthanasia law. --It seems to be the best option that I have available and will in turn produce the least amount of suffering in the long run.


Hi, nice to meet you, and thank you so much for sharing your latest news with us.
I am really sorry that this has to happen. If there's anything that you want to discuss about with someone, like a casual chat or something, please feel free to PM me.


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Fogman
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25 Jan 2018, 10:28 am

Turtleton wrote:
Hi, nice to meet you, and thank you so much for sharing your latest news with us.
I am really sorry that this has to happen. If there's anything that you want to discuss about with someone, like a casual chat or something, please feel free to PM me.


Yeah well, A lot of people don't get something like this, and they wind up dying of natural causes years later, (I'm 50) I on the other hand got hit with this, and by the time I went to the hospital I got the Diagnosis. --Cancer, especially this type is a very subtle thing, and as in my case when you get the diagnosis, it's too late, and invariably fatal.

That being said, when some people get a diagnosis from anything that is fatal will turn into raving pricks about it, and essentially wind up burning relationships with freinds and family to to anger.

This was not the case with me. I just simply accepted the fact that I was dying, and that all of the goals, and dreams that I had pre-diagnosis were no longer relevant, and that reaching out to family, (some I hadn't spent time with for nearly 40 years) was the important thing to do.


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Turtleton
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25 Jan 2018, 11:48 am

Fogman wrote:
Turtleton wrote:
Hi, nice to meet you, and thank you so much for sharing your latest news with us.
I am really sorry that this has to happen. If there's anything that you want to discuss about with someone, like a casual chat or something, please feel free to PM me.


Yeah well, A lot of people don't get something like this, and they wind up dying of natural causes years later, (I'm 50) I on the other hand got hit with this, and by the time I went to the hospital I got the Diagnosis. --Cancer, especially this type is a very subtle thing, and as in my case when you get the diagnosis, it's too late, and invariably fatal.

That being said, when some people get a diagnosis from anything that is fatal will turn into raving pricks about it, and essentially wind up burning relationships with freinds and family to to anger.

This was not the case with me. I just simply accepted the fact that I was dying, and that all of the goals, and dreams that I had pre-diagnosis were no longer relevant, and that reaching out to family, (some I hadn't spent time with for nearly 40 years) was the important thing to do.


I admire how you dedicate your time to your family. It is a really nice and kind gesture. My father was in a similar position several years ago. Euthanasia wasn't an option here so we took on the battle and lost. So I am really glad that you have the power to choose how this go.

Have you talked with any other doctors about your situation? 15% chance in 5 years - that's so precise that it raised my eyebrows. Not saying that the prognosis is wrong or anything but it might be nice to hear from some other experts as well.

Oh God I wanna give you a hug everyday.


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bobaspie2015
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25 Jan 2018, 1:08 pm

Fogman wrote:
Turtleton wrote:
and that reaching out to family, (some I hadn't spent time with for nearly 40 years) was the important thing to do.


You are a better man than me.
I made my Will some years ago and it does not include my birth family.
I have tried all my life (Yes about 40 years also) to make friends with my birth family though Christmas presents, Birthday calls; phone calls, letters, driving some 800 km to be with them.
I am 58, and not once have they responded to me. In fact they reject me and they make that quite clear. Yes I am Aspie and I am gay and live with my partner.
So you are a better man than me.
On my death bed I would not request for my birth family to be present.
I am pleased to die without birth family.



B19
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25 Jan 2018, 4:19 pm

I hope that the days ahead of you will be lightened by whatever brings you comfort and joy, as much of your favourite animals/people/experiences as is not too tiring for you. I can understand your decisions, and wish you smooth passage on this journey. May it be the best it can be.



Fogman
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25 Jan 2018, 7:32 pm

bobaspie2015 wrote:
and that reaching out to family, (some I hadn't spent time with for nearly 40 years) was the important thing to do.



You are a better man than me.
I made my Will some years ago and it does not include my birth family.
I have tried all my life (Yes about 40 years also) to make friends with my birth family though Christmas presents, Birthday calls; phone calls, letters, driving some 800 km to be with them.
I am 58, and not once have they responded to me. In fact they reject me and they make that quite clear. Yes I am Aspie and I am gay and live with my partner.
So you are a better man than me.
On my death bed I would not request for my birth family to be present.
I am pleased to die without birth family.[/quote]

If I were you I would seriously seriously give that some thought. When you get a diagnosis like this you realise that all of the old goals, dreams and ambitions that you previously had are no longer relevant. I contacted my dad, ( who I hadn't spent any time with since 1979) and sent him a copy of all the medical records, and CD's containing the results of the CAT scans.

I did the same for my Mom as well, who I broke off contact with in 2004.

My dad was the first to call me up, and offer up a big apology. We talked a bit and over the next few days, and I formulated a plan to go to North Dakota to visit, and then continue on to Washington State where they also have a Voluntary Euthanasia law enacted. The original plan for this was to stay for about a week or so, then travel back Minot to catch an Amtrak to Spokane to look into it. Then there were new developments.

My half Brother, Broadus , Who's attaining a PHD degree in Mining Engineering, was doing a presentaion in Toronto, and would be doing some work at a couple of mines in Northern Ontario and Quebec. He would try to get to Bismarck ND to be with us all. I saw him briefly when he was still a toddler in 1985, and for a few hours over a few days in 1998 when he was a kind of geeky hippie teenager.

Other than that ther was no contact with him at all, until this trip when I finally got to meet him and spend a lot of time with him. Another thing that happened is that the fear, and malignant hate that I had for my dad, stopped after I got his explations for some of the things he did when I was a kid. --I am now a much calmer, and focused individual after the extended visit grew to two months.

I don't know your situation, but if some type of terminal disease gets ahold of you, I would seriously consider reaching out and contacting your family. They may be the same, and that would be a sad thing, or they may have moved along in their beliefs, and this would be a good thing, as it would put you at much more ease than you are with them currently, and they would be glad to see you as well.


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Fogman
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25 Jan 2018, 8:52 pm

[quote="bobaspie2015"]
and that reaching out to family, (some I hadn't spent time with for nearly 40 years) was the important thing to do.[quote/]


[quote="bobaspie2015"]You are a better man than me.
I made my Will some years ago and it does not include my birth family.
I have tried all my life (Yes about 40 years also) to make friends with my birth family though Christmas presents, Birthday calls; phone calls, letters, driving some 800 km to be with them.
I am 58, and not once have they responded to me. In fact they reject me and they make that quite clear. Yes I am Aspie and I am gay and live with my partner.
So you are a better man than me.
On my death bed I would not request for my birth family to be present.
I am pleased to die without birth family.[quote/]

If I were you I would seriously seriously give that some thought. When you get a diagnosis like this you realise that all of the old goals, dreams and ambitions that you previously had are no longer relevant. I contacted my dad, ( who I hadn't spent any time with since 1979) and sent him a copy of all the medical records, and CD's containing the results of the CAT scans.

I did the same for my Mom as well, who I broke off contact with in 2004.

My dad was the first to call me up, and offer up a big apology. We talked a bit and over the next few days, and I formulated a plan to go to North Dakota to visit, and then continue on to Washington State where they also have a Voluntary Euthanasia law enacted. The original plan for this was to stay for about a week or so, then travel back Minot to catch an Amtrak to Spokane to look into it. Then there were new developments.

My half Brother, Broadus , Who's attaining a PHD degree in Mining Engineering, was doing a presentaion in Toronto, and would be doing some work at a couple of mines in Northern Ontario and Quebec. He would try to get to Bismarck ND to be with us all. I saw him briefly when he was still a toddler in 1985, and for a few hours over a few days in 1998 when he was a kind of geeky hippie teenager.

Other than that ther was no contact with him at all, until this trip when I finally got to meet him and spend a lot of time with him. Another thing that happened is that the fear, and malignant hate that I had for my dad, stopped after I got his explations for some of the things he did when I was a kid. --I am now a much calmer, and focused individual after the extended visit grew to two months.

I don't know your situation, but if some type of terminal disease gets ahold of you, I would seriously consider reaching out and contacting your family. They may be the same, and that would be a sad thing, or they may have moved along in their beliefs, and this would be a good thing, as it would put you at much more ease than you are with them currently, and they would be glad to see you as well.

Oh, and as an aside to Wronplanet Admins, is BB coding no longer working here?


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Misslizard
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02 Feb 2018, 1:38 pm

Very sorry to hear of this.Dont worry about relatives or anyone else.Now is the time to be selfish.Do what you want.
Myself,I would prefer to die alone with my pets,who would honestly grieve,than phony family members.


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bobaspie2015
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03 Feb 2018, 2:50 pm

Misslizard wrote:
Very sorry to hear of this.Dont worry about relatives or anyone else.Now is the time to be selfish.Do what you want.
Myself,I would prefer to die alone with my pets,who would honestly grieve,than phony family members.

Yes I agree with you in the fact that I would like to die alone, as none of my family give a crap about me.
But Fogman thinks different to us and that is OK.