Pro ND article in “Romper”

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There’s a revolution brewing. Actually, it’s been brewing a long time, but the non-autistic world — well, we weren't paying attention. And then, thanks to Twitter, for a moment we were. The ~radical~ idea that parents are not necessarily the best advocates for Autistic children was given a push by an inflammatory book that came out this past summer. In case you missed it, here’s what happened: Judith Newman published a memoir about her autistic son called To Siri With Love, in which she said she’d seek power of attorney over her bright, affectionate, transit-system-loving son when he turned 18, to force him to have a vasectomy. For good measure, she also insulted a few autistic self-advocates. Nevertheless, the book became a bestseller, celebrities applauded it, and the non-autistic world generally received To Siri like it was the best thing since sliced bread.

But Autistic Twitter boiled over with rage. Their message? Judith Newman is on the wrong side of history. Autistic adults are tired of hurtful stereotypes depicting them as robotic and inhuman — and they're sick of having their voices ignored. Autistic people don’t want to be called broken, and they’re tired of non-autistic parent advocacy that demonizes “autism” and wails for a “cure.”

The bottom line is this: when parents charge into the night to demonize a kind of difference they don’t understand, their kids suffer for it. Autistic adults want parents to listen, and to re-consider how they'll advocate for the next generation of neuro-divergent kids.

Sure, parenting someone who sees the world through a different lens is challenging, even painful. But when parents take to the internet (or major publishing houses) to publicize the intimate details of their children’s lives, they risk holding themselves up as martyrs at the expense of their children's privacy.

John Elder Robison, an author, self-advocate, and scholar-in-residence at William and Mary, speaks to the phenomenon of Warrior Mom blogs, in which mothers often portray themselves as heroes in light of their children's disabilities

When kids are little, they don’t have any say,” says Robison. “But later, the idea that their mother posted stories about their smearing poo on the walls or whatever else they may have done, that’s really disturbing to the 16-year old kid who was the subject of the mommy blog 10 years back."