I Have A Risky Question Here
ZZZTired
Velociraptor
Joined: 23 Jan 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 476
Location: Awake from a good night's rest
I have a hard time dealing with peer pressure as a young adult. Do I have to agree to every girl out there to prevent myself from looking sexist? Some of the stuff I see girls do and say I don't agree with at all. I prefer to respect my elders and enjoy the country I am in and I have some conservative believes. I like going to college to get my school work done, and lastly I am Christian.
The art of polite disagreement is tricky but worth exercising.
You are entitled to disagree with others and follow your own path.
Just don't make it more offensive than absolutely nesessary. Like "I disagree with you" is perfectly OK, but "you're an idiot" is not. Try to look for the least offensive way to make your point but make it whenever you need.
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Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
You can disagree with what someone else but understand wherw your authority ends and the other person's agency begins.
When I was younger, a lot of conservative christian men thought girls and women should wear dresses. They are entitled to that thought but they are not entitled to force me to wear a dress based on their interpretation of scripture.
You can have your views on something but understand that in some instances, a person may have more authority on the subject than you. For example, one poster seems to be of the opinion that he knows more about the female experience than me, an actual female, with 38 years of experience being female to his 0 years, 0 months, 0 seconds being female...meaning never having been female at all. Everything he knows about being female, a female would have to tell him, or he would have to deduce through observation. He still wouldn't have the benefit of actual experience and in my opinion he hasn't been very good at listening or deducing.
As a woman, I would say it depends on how and when you disagree. Some of my guy friends, actually most, are especially disagreeable when it comes to topics that might threaten them. In that case, it would be pretty hard for girls.
For example, I HAD a guy friend who always disagree with everything I say. We were both into Japanese games but he doesn't read Japanese, so ultimately I was the one more familiar with eg. the gameplay, the news and even the community that surrounds it. If I told him, say, hey you should try this weapon out, it's become very easy to use after the last update! He'd go like, yeaaaaahh rriiiight but I'm happy with what I have now. Then, a few days later, when the news is finally translated into his language, or if ANOTHER RANDOM GUY ONLINE tells him about the news, he will be so ready to accept it. You get the idea.
Otherwise, it is absolutely fine for guys to disagree. I once did a presentation on freewill for school. A week later, it was a guy's turn to present and, surprisingly, he added an extra part at the end of the slideshow to show that I was wrong on certain aspects, and proceeded to explain it. I can ensure you that that was one of the most fruitful and enjoyable moments in my college life. We were both very satisfied from this exchange of ideas.
In short, it depends.
No you don't have to agree with what other people do, but are you commenting negatively on what other people are doing? I absolutely hate the way some people talk to their kids, and as for litterbugs but it's not a good idea to actually tell someone that you don't think their behavour is good enough or appropriate.
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Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.
Of course you don’t have to agree with everybody. As a liberal, I prefer conservatives who are honest about their convictions instead of trying to appease me to avoid conflict. I’m not afraid of having my beliefs challenged and neither should you. You’d be surprised how many things you have in common with those you may perceive to be your ideological opposite. Just relax, stand by your principles and don’t worry about whether people will like you for it.
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,404
Location: Long Island, New York
To alot of women, politeness and tone, is more important than speaking truthfully.
That is common with men also.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
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