The last few weeks have been a lot. A lot has happened, I've been through a lot, revisited a lot, and made peace with a lot. I feel like I'd like to make some new friends again, finally. But I'm terrible at making new friends. I honestly do not know how to go about it anymore. I try, but it never seems to work properly. I don't know if I'm missing signals, if I'm sharing too much, if I'm too reserved, if I talk too much or too little, if I'm misunderstanding what they're saying or they're misunderstanding me... I honestly have no idea which way is up and what I'm doing wrong, if I even am doing anything wrong. Or maybe I just don't understand the terms of friendship or how friendship looks anymore. If I ever even did....
Ugh.
"Ineptitude" may not be a strong enough word. I am so lost and confused on it all that I can't even articulate myself well about it.
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"So much of what she'd thought was truth before was merely tricks. No more than clever ways of speaking to the world. They were a bargaining. A plea. A call. A cry."
I am a Bookwyrm.