There is at least one good program for adults

Post Reply New Topic

Robert White spent much of his first 58 years hiding from the world.

His mother died of cancer when he was a junior at Roosevelt High School. He attended Grand View University, then just a college.

There White began to isolate himself, a habit he would maintain for decades. He rarely left his residence hall, not for meals, not to socialize, "not even to get the mail out of the mailbox," he said.

White lives with anxiety, depression and Asperger's syndrome

He lived life as a nervous, sad man who had trouble communicating with others. He lacked confidence in himself to do much of anything and found it exceptionally difficult to interact with others.

Today, at 62, with the help of a group called Passageway, White better understands his mental health issues and is learning just how much he is capable of regardless of how his brain chemistry functions.

Passageway makes its home on the ground floor of an office building at 60th Street and Grand Avenue. The program helps people with mental health challenges gather for fellowship, get volunteer and work experience and connect to social services for everything from food and housing assistance to setting up medical appointments.

White felt invisible most of his life. After he left Grand View, he tried school at Des Moines Area Community College, but that didn't work out either.

His father, a doctor, died in 1989 and left him an inheritance. He lived off the money and only worked part-time jobs in short spurts. He usually quit when he got too nervous.

White spent most of his time volunteering. He coached youth baseball in the Fairgrounds Little League and youth basketball for the Salvation Army.

He enjoyed working with the children but tried to stay away from the parents.

White remembers one parent chewing him out because he wasn't a very good baseball coach.

"I never played sports as a kid," White said. "I think my parents protected me because they thought I wouldn't be any good at it. They were probably right."

White bought a library's worth of baseball coaching books and videos so he could be a better instructor. But after he did that, he became so focused on techniques and rules that he "stopped getting to know the players on a personal level," he said.

White coached basketball for the Salvation Army. He served on the league's board. He was so good at organizing the games that the Salvation Army offered him a job running the league.

Again, White's nerves got the better of him. He declined the offer.

"That's probably the biggest mistake of my life," he said.

White coached middle school basketball for a while before hanging up his whistle and going back into isolation.

His inheritance money dried up and he found himself in his middle 50s with no consistent work experience.

White saw a therapist in 2001. He was diagnosed with anxiety and depression with Asperger's.

White tried a dating service and met a few people. He moved in with one girlfriend and they talked about getting married, but it never came to pass.

Passageway is part of the Medicaid-funded program that uses the Clubhouse Model for Psychological Rehabilitation. The group was started in 1944 by a group of people recently discharged from the New York state psychiatric hospital as "We Are Not Alone."

Eventually, a model for helping people with persistent mental health issues developed. Clubhouse International is 37 states nationwide and 28 countries worldwide.

There are no membership fees or dues. Club members at the Passageway decide everything from what programs and social outings they want to do to the lunchtime meal.

White found fellowship among people who shared some of the same struggles he had his whole life. Feeling less alone, he found a therapist and psychiatrist to help him regulate his mental health challenges with medication and behavioral therapy.

After decades feeling worthless and useless despite his good works coaching youth sports and other volunteerism, White found a place where he felt welcomed.

He got a part-time job at a home improvement retailer in West Des Moines. He worked mostly as a janitor and unloading trucks.

White developed a serious back problem and had to quit the job. He's been working doctors to manage a compressed disc in his back.

After a few years at Passageway, White joined Toastmasters, a club dedicated to perfecting public speaking technique. White loved it.

"Sometimes I have a lot of things going on in my mind at once, so I'm not always easy to understand," he said. "I tell people if what I say doesn't make sense, it's just how I am, but if I get to the end and you understood me, that was divine intervention."

Talking with White in Erdman's office at Passageway, it's hard to imagine the man was ever painfully shy, but White quickly and firmly points out that he is part of the Passageway story — not the Passageway story.

"They always do," Erdman said. "They're still members."

These days, White is practically exuberant. He serves on the board for Passageway. He wants more people to know about the club in hopes more will find the fellowship that helped him grow.

White still criticizes himself in casual conversation, but he's working on that.

He's been working with Goodwill to learn a retail job. He isn't sure he will be able to do it with his bad back, but he wants to try.

That last bit is a big deal.

Robert White wants to try. That wasn't true for big portions of his life.

"I didn't think I could do anything," White said, "but now I want to try everything."