17 Feb 2018, 8:51 pm
18 Feb 2018, 2:42 am
What's this supposed to mean?
revolution, perhaps after the French model.
Well that's how I read it. Oh, go on then, since you're Father Christmas
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,697
Location: the island of defective toy santas
18 Feb 2018, 3:00 am
^^^ 
18 Feb 2018, 9:38 am
Marknis
Sometimes I wonder if I am
A lost cause
Too far gone
Beyond repair
Slacker
Burnout
Lazy
Scared
Apathetic
Wise
You can change the past
The insurance pays for two years counseling. But that is just talking. Not doing. "Actions speak louder than words"
Once every other week. One hour each time
The insurance pays the counselor 75 bucks each time
The counselor told me
The counselor has no authority to intervene in the situation
Exception:. 5150, filling insurance forms
The counselor can say whatever she wants
But so can everyone else
And I was 33 when I fist met her
"A day late, a dollar short"
Should have met her age ten. Lifetime of counseling. More than once a week. And more professionals. With skill. And more power
In "Not My Boy", RJs dad wrote that he paid 160 000 bucks a year for professional services for his autistic child
RJ was not even ten years old
The professional services that might 
help cost more money than I have ever earned
In "no excuses" Kyle Maynard. Allegedly climbed Mt Everest . Or something. Kyle was successful. Even though he had no arms or legs. Kyle's mom said (supposedly), nobody is allowed to help Kyle. Maybe that policy, made Kyle more independent and successful
But in any event I am 34 years old. Older than kyle and RJ
Anything anyone does, including myself, has a much smaller potential for "help" or "harm", than it would have done, when I was five years old
SSRI, MAOI, beta blockers, occupational therapy, speech therapy
Costs a lot of money
And they have side effects
18 Feb 2018, 1:46 pm
18 Feb 2018, 1:59 pm
You’re not damaged. You just need to work on changing your thinking a bit. You seem like someone who is capable of aches more, but you need to believe in yourself.
18 Feb 2018, 2:15 pm
You’re not damaged. You just need to work on changing your thinking a bit. You seem like someone who is capable of aches more, but you need to believe in yourself.
Aches?
18 Feb 2018, 2:18 pm
You’re not damaged. You just need to work on changing your thinking a bit. You seem like someone who is capable of aches more, but you need to believe in yourself.
Aches?
Autocorrect. It should say “much”.
18 Feb 2018, 6:36 pm
You’re not damaged. You just need to work on changing your thinking a bit. You seem like someone who is capable of aches more, but you need to believe in yourself.
Aches?
Autocorrect. It should say “much”.
My thought patterns have been the way they are since I was 17. If it takes another 12 years to fix my thinking, I should just kill myself already.
19 Feb 2018, 3:02 am
You’re not damaged. You just need to work on changing your thinking a bit. You seem like someone who is capable of aches more, but you need to believe in yourself.
Aches?
Autocorrect. It should say “much”.
My thought patterns have been the way they are since I was 17. If it takes another 12 years to fix my thinking, I should just kill myself already.
What changed at 17?
19 Feb 2018, 3:20 am
You’re not damaged. You just need to work on changing your thinking a bit. You seem like someone who is capable of aches more, but you need to believe in yourself.
Aches?
Autocorrect. It should say “much”.
My thought patterns have been the way they are since I was 17. If it takes another 12 years to fix my thinking, I should just kill myself already.
What changed at 17?
I realized I wasn't getting a girlfriend no matter how much I prayed or wanted one while my classmates were constantly dating, I still wasn't in a rock band but other people I knew were, I sucked at drawing no matter how hard I tried but even people younger than me were creating well done drawings, and my difficulties with math made my career prospects look bleak. It was like everything around me was falling apart and my brain was being marinated in some sort of disgusting bile.
19 Feb 2018, 4:30 am
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,697
Location: the island of defective toy santas
19 Feb 2018, 4:33 am
I correctly deduced that it was hopeless for me, by the time I reached my 20s. I learned my limitations as a human being early on. hope can be a stubborn thing, though, and I only lost total hope by my 40s, which was when I became a hermit. 
19 Feb 2018, 5:32 am
No offense but that’s really not encouraging to here.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,697
Location: the island of defective toy santas
19 Feb 2018, 3:00 pm
No offense but that’s really not encouraging to here.
i'm sorry, it was not my intention to cause you pain. it WAS my intention to AT-ONE with you, that you will know you're in the same boat with lotsa other folk. it is my hope that we all can put our heads together and figure better ways to cope with our limitations. it is not my intention to deter others from struggling against them. since this is a support forum for people to share their experiences, I was just sharing mine also.
19 Feb 2018, 4:45 pm
