Do attractive people depress you?

Page 1 of 10 [ 160 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 10  Next

FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

06 Feb 2018, 11:40 am

Do you ever see a really attractive person (either physically or a great personality) start to wish you could date them, and then immediately get depressed because you know you have way too many problems for them to ever find you attractive and would just make their lives miserable anyway so they're better off if you don't even try? Or is it just me?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

06 Feb 2018, 12:05 pm

I used to feel that way; to a certain extent, I still do.



FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

06 Feb 2018, 12:42 pm

How do you get over that?



AspieUtah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Brigham City, Utah

06 Feb 2018, 1:04 pm

FunkyPunky wrote:
How do you get over that?

Start by realizing that truly attractive people are rare, and usually just want to be left alone because getting approached and befriended by others who want some reflected glory is demoralizing. Then there are the people who apply their attractiveness like shellac (makeup, bronzer, clothing and "entourage" staffers who are paid to be "friends in public"). They have bought and paid for their attractiveness. Finally, too many people see attractiveness in celebrities. Having worked with so many world leaders and Hollywood workers, I can say honestly that they are the most pathetic of the lot. I have watched extremely famous people driving beat-up rental cars and eating too much fast food. Many celebrities are on the verge of bankruptcy at any given moment and, psychologically, they are friendless and depressed.

So, realize that you are chasing a dream, not the individual behind the fakery. Befriend the truly attractive, if you can. They will cherish you because you will (hopefully) treat them as who they are, not what others only think they are.


_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

06 Feb 2018, 1:08 pm

By realizing that there is much more to a person than mere "attractiveness."

I've been turned on more by people purportedly "ugly" than by people who look like fashion models.



FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

06 Feb 2018, 1:09 pm

AspieUtah wrote:
So, realize that you are chasing a dream, not the individual behind the fakery. Befriend the truly attractive, if you can. They will cherish you because you will (hopefully) treat them as who they are, not what others only think they are.


What makes you think I'm talking about "fake" attractive people?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

06 Feb 2018, 1:10 pm

Physical attractiveness does not usually reflect how attractive a person is "underneath it all."



AspieUtah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Brigham City, Utah

06 Feb 2018, 1:13 pm

FunkyPunky wrote:
AspieUtah wrote:
So, realize that you are chasing a dream, not the individual behind the fakery. Befriend the truly attractive, if you can. They will cherish you because you will (hopefully) treat them as who they are, not what others only think they are.

What makes you think I'm talking about "fake" attractive people?

I apologize. I didn't intend to describe your opinions. I was speaking editorially.


_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

06 Feb 2018, 2:27 pm

No, they don’t. Though sometimes extroverted NTs who have done really well in life do.

If they’re that normal they probably aren’t a good match for me, anyway. I wouldn’t want them.

Looks don’t mean much to me in regards to whether I think a person is worth knowing or not.



FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

06 Feb 2018, 2:36 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
No, they don’t. Though sometimes extroverted NTs who have done really well in life do.

If they’re that normal they probably aren’t a good match for me, anyway. I wouldn’t want them.

Looks don’t mean much to me in regards to whether I think a person is worth knowing or not.


I don't mean just knowing them. I mean getting into a romantic relationship with them.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

08 Feb 2018, 12:22 am

FunkyPunky wrote:
Do you ever see a really attractive person (either physically or a great personality) start to wish you could date them, and then immediately get depressed because you know you have way too many problems for them to ever find you attractive and would just make their lives miserable anyway so they're better off if you don't even try? Or is it just me?

It's not just you. I see supermodel looking girls on the train and in the city all the time and I feel a dark shroud of despair over me because I know that I can never date a girl like that :(


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

08 Feb 2018, 12:56 am

Yes.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

08 Feb 2018, 12:58 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
FunkyPunky wrote:
Do you ever see a really attractive person (either physically or a great personality) start to wish you could date them, and then immediately get depressed because you know you have way too many problems for them to ever find you attractive and would just make their lives miserable anyway so they're better off if you don't even try? Or is it just me?

It's not just you. I see supermodel looking girls on the train and in the city all the time and I feel a dark shroud of despair over me because I know that I can never date a girl like that :(


I can never date any women. So atleast you can date at all. And I bet your gf is pretty. You already mentioned she’s thin. Sounds like you got super lucky. I’m also guessing her personality is to your liking



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

08 Feb 2018, 1:13 am

Just some simple advice from a male who has been through all this...

Please don't base looks as the basis for who to date...looks fade with time

"truly attractive" means attractive on the inside. If they are also attractive on the outside then "bonus"

Make friends first rather than think with your dick...



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

08 Feb 2018, 1:38 am

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
FunkyPunky wrote:
Do you ever see a really attractive person (either physically or a great personality) start to wish you could date them, and then immediately get depressed because you know you have way too many problems for them to ever find you attractive and would just make their lives miserable anyway so they're better off if you don't even try? Or is it just me?

It's not just you. I see supermodel looking girls on the train and in the city all the time and I feel a dark shroud of despair over me because I know that I can never date a girl like that :(


I can never date any women. So atleast you can date at all. And I bet your gf is pretty. You already mentioned she’s thin. Sounds like you got super lucky. I’m also guessing her personality is to your liking

She's not thin at all. She weighs 75 kg :(


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

08 Feb 2018, 1:49 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
FunkyPunky wrote:
Do you ever see a really attractive person (either physically or a great personality) start to wish you could date them, and then immediately get depressed because you know you have way too many problems for them to ever find you attractive and would just make their lives miserable anyway so they're better off if you don't even try? Or is it just me?

It's not just you. I see supermodel looking girls on the train and in the city all the time and I feel a dark shroud of despair over me because I know that I can never date a girl like that :(


I can never date any women. So atleast you can date at all. And I bet your gf is pretty. You already mentioned she’s thin. Sounds like you got super lucky. I’m also guessing her personality is to your liking

She's not thin at all. She weighs 75 kg :(

not nice dude