Denied ASD/Aspergers in psych evaluation

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After my son was diagnosed with Aspergers/ASD around kindergarten age, I had to do a lot of reading to figure out what that is, how it works, what to do as a parent, since so many traditional/common sense/instinctual parenting actions were not working at all.

I have felt different all my life, been confused on how differently I seemed to think from those around me or what was expected of me, seemingly normal things that cause me overwhelming anxiety, why I do or cannot bring myself to do certain things, etc. etc.

My research led into adult Aspergers and it really has been a huge revelation. This seemed to answer every question I ever had about myself, and I have no doubt that I am on the spectrum.

I decided to self-advocate and see if I could get an evaluation from the local regional center (through which my sons receive services). Just a diagnosis, and if positive, seek therapy options. I was not seeking any monetary handouts. Eventually they took my case, did a lengthy pre-interview, and a lengthy psychological evaluation. Months later I received the results via mail.

It was determined that I was merely suffering from depression and social anxiety and should ask my primary care physician to see a therapist for these.

I apologize to any of you who feel I am a wannabe/poseur Aspie who shouldn't be posting here.

Reading their summary is humiliating. Should I just give up on this? After all, I'm just some idiot who read a few books, and the psychologist and staff at the regional center are professionals.

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(I'm a 48-year old male in the USA)

Non-Autistics are allowed to be members here.

Searching for the truth often involves chasing a number of false leads if that is what this was so nothing to apologize for. A poseur would of come on here knowing they are not autistic and pretend to be one or are uncertain about it a say they say they are Aspie with no caveats. You did not do that, this was your second post. Everybody wants answers as soon as possible for their problems so we all are wanabees in that way. But wanabee is wanting to be aspie because you think it is cool or trendy.

It is possible to be an Aspie and have depression and anxiety also. They are common co-morbid conditions with Aspergers. Aspie adults are often misdiagnosed with those conditions.
Because of the above many on here might have useful coping mechanisms for you whether you are autistic or not.

Did the the regional center's summary ring true, partially true but not the whole story of you, or plain BS?
If it rang true treat your depression and anxiety. If not everybody has a right to seek a second opinion.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

I don't care about a person's diagnosis, or lack thereof.

I only care if somebody insults me, or seeks to demean me, or whatever----diagnosis or no diagnosis

Thanks for replying, guys.

The assessment was accurate in that OF COURSE I have social anxiety and am depressed!

My personal revelation was that the Aspergers is the UNDERLYING CAUSE of (what would make an exhaustive list of) behaviors, events and results from throughout my lifetime, including said anxiety and depression.

The evaluators noted that I had come to the Regional Ctr on my own behalf, I have a college degree, a job, displayed emotion, did not display quirky repetitive motions, etc. as evidence that I'm not on the spectrum.

I didn't have any childhood psych records to present to them.

I recommended they not talk to my Mom or Dad, which didn't help my case.

Why not?
Because my Mom has always had an angry paranoia about "shrinks" -- thinking that getting psychological/psychiatric help is something that "goes on your record" effecting getting a job, etc. I love my mom, but it's a horrible stance to take. I know that she would just be tight-lipped and firmly deny anything was ever wrong or different, and try to get out of there as soon as possible.

My dad's stance is more that I'm normal, but just have really low self-esteem and tries to give me positive reinforcement.

In this evaluation, I anticipated being too high functioning to receive any services, but not a complete denial that I am on the spectrum at all.

I read about many others like me who have gotten by in life without knowing they are Aspies until middle age. Their stories resonate with me.

My apology for being here as a supposed-Aspie-who-is-supposedly-not-an-Aspie was half joking / half acknowledging some respect to mental health professionals. I still think I belong here and will continue to self-advocate.

Whether you would have gotten the diagnosis you expected from another place you probably do have depression and social anxiety if they diagnosed them, and the point should be getting whatever help you need no matter what it's called. Some people have a weird obsession with aspergers as if it's a special part of their identity but the label does nothing to change who you are or how you need to interact with people. You don't need a diagnosis to "explain" why you are the way you are as long as you know the way you are. If you need treatment that's different, and it seems to be the case that you need treatment for depression but otherwise you don't need permission or explanation not to be like other people. Maybe you're just different and no one has invented a diagnosis that fits you perfectly. Would that change anything about the reality that you are that way?

I don't have a formal diagnosis of ASD, but strongly suspect it. I also have pretty significant social anxiety and depression. The trouble that I have had in the past is therapists don't really seem to believe that I have as much difficulty with social interactions, since I come across relatively normal in one on one situations--particularly one on one clinical interactions. The focus, therefore, seems to be to convince me that I don't really have any trouble.

Whether or not I have an ASD diagnosis I'm trying to find someone who has experience with high functioning ASD patients--it seems like they would be better equipped to help me. Books focused on ASD or, for example, the succeed socially site/book seem much more relevant to me - I just want to function adequately in the social domain. Dale Carnegie's "how to win friends and influence people" has been recommended to me more times than I can count, but seems to be focused on people who are already adequate and wish to be excellent or have better business networking skills; same with many other self help books for neurotypical folks.

Rift42, thanks — your comment sounds you and I are on the same page in these regards!
Or in the same boat... or...
I think my evaluator would consider my use of metaphors as further evidence against my having ASD!

bk, you may find that the books, articles and videos of Tony Attwood are helpful in this stage of your journey. I highly recommend them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKXt526Pri8

In my case I started looking at ASD resources just for a solution for some of my issues, but I kept running into things that fit in other areas that I had never thought were associated with ASD, but fit me.

On sensory sensitivities: I hear the bit about t-shirt tags a lot; my mom would cut them off for me, but I'd have to go and completely remove all remnants of them or it would still bother the f* out of me if there was still something left. Sounds over 20K Hz drive me a bit bonkers, which is more annoying because I'm usually the only person in the room who can even hear the noise. A college room mate got me original scent detergent when I asked for unscented and I gave up on trying to use it because I couldn't stand how my clothes smelled.

I'm also very bad with remembering faces, though not completely face blind. I once ran into someone in a grocery store who knew me by name. I couldn't remember him at all or where I knew him. Turned out we used to rent rooms in the same house.

My working memory is also horrid. Once took an "observational memory" test years ago comparing pictures one after the other to look for differences and scored in the 5th percentile.

The only thing my demented grandmother remembered about me when she was dying was that I did not like to be hugged (though at that time I had pretty much gotten over that--although still both desire and am uncomfortable with physical contact).

Do any of these things mean anything? I have no idea.

Here is a link to a Goodreads “shelf” i made of all the ASD/Aspergers, anxiety, mental health, etc books I’ve read. These are NOT recommendations; just what Ive read, some good, some worthless:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/7 ... ed&order=d

I just wanted to take it to the next level and talk to a therapist knowledgeable in adult Aspergers. I dont think anxiety and depression can really be successfully addressed/treated the same for Aspies and NTs.
I’ve already dealt with anxiety treatment without any regard for the underlying causes.
I’ll just keep consuming books, videos, articles and this forum in the meantime.

It says "Sorry, that person's shelf is private." when I try to look at it. Any chance you could make that bookshelf public?

I will look for that setting, thanks for checking it

In my opinion, the professionals were not very professional to just give you their results by mail, with no opportunity to discuss and see how this made you feel or what your next steps should be. At a minimum, they could have had a phone conversation to do the same.

I was diagnosed late as an adult, also. My diagnosing doctor (child psychiatrist) gave me the results in person, and sent me the written evaluation later in the mail. I felt very respected and properly dealt with. I'm sorry you did not get that courtesy.

Regional Centers are probably some of the worst places to go for an ASD evaluation if you are not low-functioning or displaying blatant symptoms. I went to one myself, and the fact that I smiled during the evaluation was one of the reasons I was determined to not be autistic. There's actually a list of diagnosis options somewhere online that discourages people suspected of having Asperger's from even bothering with Regional Centers.

Thanks Starkid
I did it there because I thought I have 2 kids diagnosed thru them, and I have a baseline Medi-Cal insurance...

Try the UC Berkeley graduate school of psychology for an evaluation. I have Medi-Cal and my evaluation there was free. If you don't live nearby but have some hotel money, you can stay in town for a few days. Other schools might offer the same service.