Feeling hurt by online friend who suddenly went distant

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I became friends over the summer with an autistic 20 year old girl online and everything seemed well. We spoke everyday unless otherwise, skyped a few times, played games with each other, all was well, until mid December when she started getting busier around the holidays due to her large family (which is true because I've seen some of them), not logging into Discord where we usually talk, etc. I had sent her a Christmas gift which we talked about doing & exchanged addresses. She mentioned receiving hers but still kept speaking to me less and less, saying she'll send mine when she gets the chance, but it's well past Christmas & I never got the package.

While she isn't on Discord anymore and hasn't logged in for over a month, I do see her on messenger all the time as she talks to her parents through it, so I tried sending a few messages on there. She hasn't responded in a month, let alone read the messages (the last one she read was of me asking if she was able to ship the package to the correct address yet). I also tried sending her texts & an email, just in case messenger didn't go through, and nothing. She wasn't really posting things online either until a few weeks ago, she's a writer and posts fiction. She's been posting consistently again, mentioning a lot has been going on & she has little energy to do much besides play games when not at work, in the sidenotes.

I feel really hurt that she won't take a few seconds to message me because she was my only friend. I liked her a lot too. She has a few other online friends though. I find it very difficult to make & keep friends at school, etc. I am also on the spectrum, have generalized anxiety disorder & possibly depression. My mom & sister tell me I should be patient for her as she might be telling the truth and needs alone time & she'll come around, but Idk anymore. She hasn't blocked me on anything so that's one thing. She has called me a wonderful friend before and I feel the same way.

It's like I'm not meant to have any friends or relationships since I've been ignored & blocked before, though usually after only a week of speaking to someone, but 6 months? Come on. Isn't that annoying to be ignored?

....You said the person is busy. People get busy with lives and stuff like that. All my friends are online and some I don't speak to for weeks at a time because either I'm dealing with stuff or they are.

I know it's hard but you got to understand that people have other priorities and sometimes they just can't speak to you or say a simple "Hi". And sometimes people just get disinterested in keeping up with a relationship, not saying that this person did so but just stating the possible.... It's best to try to find others to talk to. Find someone who doesn't have that much going on in their life and that can spend more time with you if possible. Or, try to make multiple friends so if one cannot speak with you at that moment in time, you'll have someone else to chat with. I really doubt this person is "ignoring" you on purpose though... I'm sorry that this happened.

Same thing happened to me, except I was quite insulted by the end of mine. Now the only thing I'm left with is sadness and a distorted view of the word "friend".

I also have autism and have pretty much failed at making friends my whole life. I tried goofy...didn't work, tried talking more...didn't work, tried just being more quiet and letting things work itself out...that was an epic fail. I have come to the conclusion that me being alone and having to live with a big gaping hole seems to be the only thing left.

Best to let her go or you may end up with a nasty message that make you feel 2x worse than what you felt before.

I wouldn't contact her again for a little bit. Wait and see, maybe she has been overwhelmed by Christmas ect. It's possible something went wrong with your present and she's embarrassed to say. If she doesn't contact you within a couple of months then you could send one message, just to say hi and leave it up to her whether she wants to respond. It's best to have more than one friend, though, to avoid being too dependent on one person, but it's difficult to make one friend.

I guess I'll stop for a while, I tried contacting her every few weeks but no response & not reading the message. On messenger at least, they show that they were Delivered. I'm starting to think something went wrong & there's something she doesn't want to tell me. Though, the holiday season is long past over so (based off previous experiences & my thoughts given by anxiety) I most likely think she simply doesm't like me anymore.

We met on a paid site (but we didn't pay), she found me on youtube & we started talking that way. I go to a big university & am in a school club but it's like I'm invisible, or people notice something's wrong with me. Everyone seems to have their own friend groups. My parents always worried about the fact I had no friends growing up. I usually had school friends. I'm always home (I live alone) unless I need to go out, due to not being able to drive because of my vision.

Yeah but, I see she posts every now & then on like facebook or something. She isn't a heavy user anyway, my point, if she can do that, & says she thinks I'm a good friend, she can send me a quick message, wouldn't you think? She tells me she doesn't ignore me on purpose, but I feel like she really does.

If I'm busy, I usually try finding time to respond to a message. I find it very difficult to make friends, always had since I was younger. Every now & then I had school friends, but never any close friends. My parents sometimes get mad that I don't. In my school, it's like everyone has their groups, etc. already in the first week. I'm in a school club and same issue, everyone is in their groups and naturally associating with each other, besides me. I don't leave my apartment unless I have to because I'm unable to drive due to a disability.

Me & this girl met online on a paid site (but we didn't pay, & she found me on a different site at first before exchanging numbers, etc.)

Well, I recently found out through a forum that she got a new number, and I don't know if it's true or not but a new discord account as hinted by one of her other friends.

Ouch. I have lost online friends too, we would talk a lot and then they disappear. I even had an online boyfriend too and he just stopped coming online and he changed his phone number also. Then when he did start to come back on the forum again we were on, he ignored my PM and I was hurt and he claimed he had been very busy and working his butt off to save for an apartment. I just let him go figuring I wasn't that important to him and I was just someone online, than a person he was in a relationship with. I never wanted to do online relationships ever again so I didn't. I mean you don't get too busy for your friends or partners, do people do this to their friends and partners in real life? They still manage to make time and they use the busy excuse if they decide to ghost you and dump you. They will say they are busy and respond less and less and always make excuses to not talk or see you and then they ignore you completely.

Wow, this all sounds similar to what happened to me. I was even deleted from her facebook yesterday as I written in my other thread, I recognized you posted there too.

I agree, if she had time to talk to her other friends, she could have spoke to me. She has never sent me my christmas gift either.

I think I'll just back out from relationships & friends, especially online. They only cause me more anxiety. While I go to school, I still make time to respond to messages.

Sounds like she's blowing cold, without giving you the courtesy of a heads-up. Sounds appalling, if you ask me.

Yep, & if you read the post above, she deleted me from facebook this weekend. I also found out she got a new phone number and such as well.

Letting her go then?
Not being funny, but it sounds like she has other stuff on her mind.

I'm inclined to agree at this point.

I hope the next time you make a friend things turn out better for you.

I hope so. It's going to be hard to forget but I'd rather someone who shows equal care.

And it was on a forum she has with her other friends in which she said she got a new number & discord account. So that tells me she has time for talking to them & not me.

Yep, I hope so too. Though I highly doubt anyone would ever come to me like she did. She spoke to me first.

I guess "equal care" is a good bit of framework/guideline. Perhaps "equal interest" even, to start with?