Convince me to accept my Asperger's.

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Mudboy
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08 Feb 2018, 1:50 pm

Since you enjoy nature, have you thought about working in a national park after college? Just watch out for trolls.

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LittleCoyoteKat
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08 Feb 2018, 9:05 pm

I like how I am. I like other people on the spectrum more than NTs, because my experiences with them have been far better.

I don't like how the world caters to NT people alone, and any sign of difference is considered fault or weakness. I think that's BS. People are supposed to be different. Not the same.

Everyone has something that messes them up, most people just carry it around on the inside until they get home and then they fall apart when they're alone. Or in the car in a dark parking lot at night.

Looking at all the things you have a problem with or don't like about yourself... no one is going to convince you of anything. No one can change a mind that wants to see things a certain way.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I've suggested this to other people, because it helped me quite a lot and it can help just about anyone. Look up Cognitive Distortions. If you really want to feel better, maybe change things up with yourself, read about them with an open mind. I wish you lots of luck.

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bunnyb
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09 Feb 2018, 3:17 am

Tough love time.
Nobody can convince you to accept anything you do not agree with, especially if it challenges your autonomy and view of yourself. For arguments sake, if I think I'm a loser and you tell me I'm not, I'm not going to listen to you. I will view you as a blind loser because you cannot see what a loser I am. Any suggestions you make to stop me being a loser, I will instinctively push back against. I will find reasons why your advice is useless because it conflicts with my self image and I will fight tooth and nail to maintain my self image and personal autonomy. I will make decisions that reflect who I view myself to be, not who you think I am.
Reading over your answers to peoples suggestions just shows this to be true. Change can only happen if you want it and it's your choice to change. Good luck.

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Joe90
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09 Feb 2018, 6:13 am

I would accept it if "lack of empathy" wasn't on the list of symptoms, and if murderers would stop claiming they have Asperger's or autism.

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LittleCoyoteKat
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09 Feb 2018, 6:51 am

Joe90 wrote:

I would accept it if "lack of empathy" wasn't on the list of symptoms, and if murderers would stop claiming they have Asperger's or autism.

Hmm. Ok. I don't know what to think about the empathy thing.

But the murderers thing... I've honestly never heard that before. Is that really a thing that happens?? How bizarre.

ASPartOfMe
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09 Feb 2018, 12:22 pm

LittleCoyoteKat wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

I would accept it if "lack of empathy" wasn't on the list of symptoms, and if murderers would stop claiming they have Asperger's or autism.

Hmm. Ok. I don't know what to think about the empathy thing.

But the murderers thing... I've honestly never heard that before. Is that really a thing that happens?? How bizarre.

Aspergers and Autism has very recently been cited as a reason to excuse criminal behavoir or lesson sentences especially in the UK it seems.
Wrong Planet Thread - Autism Defense Again

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Joe90
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09 Feb 2018, 3:35 pm

LittleCoyoteKat wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

I would accept it if "lack of empathy" wasn't on the list of symptoms, and if murderers would stop claiming they have Asperger's or autism.

Hmm. Ok. I don't know what to think about the empathy thing.

But the murderers thing... I've honestly never heard that before. Is that really a thing that happens?? How bizarre.

Well first the Sandy Hook school shooter claimed he had Asperger's, then a local murderer near where I live claimed he had autism and it was all over the news, and I wouldn't be surprised if one or both of the murderers of James Bulger will suddenly claim they have autism. And it's scary when these things get all over the media because the general public will start believing that autistics have the capacity of murder.

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09 Feb 2018, 4:10 pm

EzraS wrote:

Quantum wrote:

Seriously. Try to convince me to accept having this abhorrent condition that has devastated me in my life. I'm 20 years old, I have never had a girlfriend, never had a good friend. I have never been competent in a social environment. Always had difficulties blending in with the rest, even then I stick out like a tumor.

I have sensory processing complications. I can't tolerate sounds. I can't tolerate certain lights. I can't process auditory information properly meaning that I'm unable to retain 90% of the information provided to me by someone speaking with me in front of my asymmetric face.

People talk about high functioning autists as if they are geniuses, have unparalleled abilities, especially in their interests. Yet here I am, no talent. No interests. Not good at anything.

So, give me one reason to be "happy" with this condition. It's nothing but a pain in the ass and it causes complications. It does not in any way elevate some tension off my life.

There is no reason to be happy about it. The "I love my autism" routine is incomprehensible to me. Just gotta find ways to be happyish in spite of it. Sort of as a f**k you to autism. And there's always the others have worse problems angle, like with the quadriplegic I know. Thinking thank goodness I'm not like him is a cheap way to feel better about my curse I suppose, but it helps some nonetheless.

^well said. It's not really liking it. it's more of finding ways to be happy despite of it. I'd also like to add

If you say your not good at anything your not giving yourself enough credit. Even me, I still give myself credit.

I can eventually become good at anything i try to. It might take longer and more effort but I still ~can~. Don't 'sell yourself short'. If you don't understand what i mean by that, I mean don't give up before you even try. Sure, IT might take me a while and mroe effort to do soemthin than others. but Atleast I CAN do it. And once it just kinda clicks in my brain I understand it more indepth than other ppl.

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LittleCoyoteKat
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11 Feb 2018, 3:13 am

Joe90 wrote:

LittleCoyoteKat wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

I would accept it if "lack of empathy" wasn't on the list of symptoms, and if murderers would stop claiming they have Asperger's or autism.

Hmm. Ok. I don't know what to think about the empathy thing.

But the murderers thing... I've honestly never heard that before. Is that really a thing that happens?? How bizarre.

Crazy

Edna3362
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11 Feb 2018, 4:33 am

How do you take the word 'acceptance' as?

Is acceptance to you mean 'give up, stay the way you are and not care of others think'? That stubborn way that you cannot and don't have to change for better or for worse?

Is acceptance to you mean 'give everything I got and find a way to get through it'? Even though it'll be hurt, and it'll be hard path to take.

Is acceptance to you mean a simple affirmation? Of self validity? Would that mean you forgive yourself for whatever mistake or flaw you have and done?

Is the word acceptance to you would also mean accepting whatever harsh reality you've been thrown into? With all the ignorance of the world, and the inherent flaws of human nature along with whatever culture of humans follow?

I won't tell you my story of my self acceptance, and 'why'.
I won't tell you what 'gifts' that autism had granted me or what 'curse' I could afford having, how far I came from the transition, or how 'lucky' I'm that acceptance happens.

If I'm going to convince someone, all I can say is that it'll never be too late. Yet considering the plans and desires, one don't always have all the time in the world to mull over it.

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bobaspie2015
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11 Feb 2018, 6:27 am

Quantum wrote:

Imagine you are a member of a lost race whose spaceship somehow managed to crash-land on a foreign planet.
You find a strange, unseen beauty in your surroundings but are taken by surprise by the people you encounter. They look just like your people, only they act differently. Their language is the same as yours, but they speak it in a way that is nearly incoherent to you. They expect you to understand, cherish and honor their customs and traditions, but you simply do not understand the purpose. They often demand things from you, but you are unsure of how such demands are to be satisfied, as you cannot comprehend their words. This so-called “defiance” is not taken well by these aliens. They wish for you to blend in with them, to use the odd word combinations they use, to move the way they do and they even try to make you wear the tight, scratchy, and impractical garments with which they adorn themselves.
You want to go home. Living in this world takes far too much effort, and their attempts at assimilation are unsuccessful. The people believe you to be unintelligent, but you know that this is not the case. You are intelligent and sane, just not by their illogical standards.
Then, you find it. Quantum honey you are 20 yo and at the start of your life, you have so much more to discover, and believe me you will, if you WANT to. Whether it’s a hobby, sport, book, film, show or band, you find it. You fall in love with it immediately and immerse yourself in it. For such a simple thing, it gives you meaning. With this valuable thing, you do not need to understand the world around you. All you need is it, and you are complete. It is your way of reaching out in hopes someone will see your worth.
https://themighty.com/2017/10/autism-fe ... ng-planet/

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11 Feb 2018, 10:28 am

Edna3362 wrote:

I won't tell you my story of my self acceptance, and 'why'.
I won't tell you what 'gifts' that autism had granted me or what 'curse' I could afford having, how far I came from the transition, or how 'lucky' I'm that acceptance happens.

If I'm going to convince someone, all I can say is that it'll never be too late. Yet considering the plans and desires, one don't always have all the time in the world to mull over it.

Acceptence that I have as much value as a human as non autistic people.

Recognition that my goals might be different than others at certain while at other times my goals might be the same as others but it will take longer and may involve uncoventional ways of getting there.

Acceptence that I need to do things to protect my mental health that most would find weird or wrong.

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13 Feb 2018, 11:14 pm

Joe90 wrote:

And it's scary when these things get all over the media because the general public will start believing that autistics have the capacity of murder.

Capacity, yes, inclination certainly not typically. I say that both as a point of clarification and for the opportunity to put the word inclination in italics. :wink:

Joe90
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14 Feb 2018, 1:53 am

Exuvian wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

And it's scary when these things get all over the media because the general public will start believing that autistics have the capacity of murder.

Capacity, yes, inclination certainly not typically. I say that both as a point of clarification and for the opportunity to put the word inclination in italics. :wink:

I think capacity is the wrong word, as I've just realised :lol:

. The word I was meant to put was capability.

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ZombieBrideXD
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14 Feb 2018, 3:50 am

you shouldnt be happy. Autism is a disability. it negatively affects your life in many areas. You have everyright to hate it and be upset about it. i definitely hate it sometimes.

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Joe90
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14 Feb 2018, 3:45 pm

Here are reasons why I despise Asperger's (some of these things are caused by ADHD too):-

-I whined and cried a lot as a child, causing my mum grief

-I was socially isolated when I was an adolescent

-I could be so playful and happy as a child, but then also miserable and whiny

-My mum has cancer, and they say stress from over the years can cause cancer, so....

-I shy away from wedding invitations, and people think I'm being unfriendly by not going, even after explaining about my social anxieties

-I have an extremely low tolerance to pain, causing me to avoid any more smear tests and other important tests that could save your life

-Because of my Asperger's I struggle with full time work, meaning that I will never afford to pay in a pension, and so when I'm old I'm going to be poor and uncared for and just die alone, lonely and frightened

-I can't go out in public without getting funny looks from strangers, even though I know I don't do anything to look different (I am trendy and know how to act normal)

-My whole school life was ruined because of my fear of the school bell ringing, so I spent a lot of time avoiding being near a bell when it was due to ring, which got in the way of my social life

-I have to remain on meds to keep me from having rage outbursts

-I have too many pathological fears that rule my life (fears that can't be overcome or reasoned with even if you face them to overcome them)

-My excuse to not go out to bars is 'I have social anxiety', while others my age have excuses like 'I have work tomorrow', 'I have no money' or 'I have kids'. Otherwise they would be out at the bar

...And loads more. How could anybody be proud of any of that?

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