Do people even want me to have a girlfriend?

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Semantics maybe, but as a socially awkward Aspie who longed for female companionship, his desires, struggles and frustrations were likely similar to many of the members here. Myself included. The difference of course being he was prepared lash out and take the lives of innocents on account of his frustrations.

I'm not sure if he had psychosis but it would be hard to argue that he wasn't a narcissist. If I were to guess, I'd imagine that his narcissism was probably linked to social isolation. When you're socially excluded, it can lead you to believe either the people who excluded you are too good for you, or you're too good for them. While I'd say most go with the former or draw no conclusion at all, Rodger went with the ego-saving latter option. It wouldn't surprise me if Rodger had complained to a family member about his social struggles and they'd reassured him by telling him he was too good for the people who excluded him.

A narcissist who's used to his ego being nurtured could conceivably react in self-righteous indignation when he doesn't get his way, especially when it's something with the magnitude of love and dating, and especially when he perceives that it's the birthright of everyone else but he, the 'superior specimen' must endure romantic and sexual starvation. Add this self-righteous indignation to his inability to form connections and probably a lack of strong connections to begin with, and I think it's pretty easy to see why we'd have a killing machine on our hands.

A lot of this is pure conjecture obviously, but when you piece it together, it does make sense.

It’s more than all that.....

There are many people like what you’ve described. They’ll hold resentments, and might have these idiot fantasies....but they wouldn’t follow through on them.

Rodger did not value his own, or others’ lives.

In the end, that's how it played out, but I don't think it was an inevitable trajectory. He went 22 years without killing anyone. Had he been able to satisfy his desires before he snapped, I think he and his victims would still walk among us today. I don't think he just innately did not value human life. I think his life experiences in conjunction with his brain chemistry lead to the events that unfolded.

If he'd started out with no value for his or others' lives, I doubt he would have waited until 22 to open fire.

And how would I know? I don’t frequent all threads.

I meant to reply sooner but I got sidetracked by some things and the amount of replies was more than what I was expecting, especially since they happened so quickly after I posted.

It tends to be for the third reason. The odd thing is that it's usually people already in relationships who tell me. It confuses me.

I do sometimes get told things such as "I'll bet you have no trouble attracting women." or "You probably get girls chasing after you." but when I tell them it isn't true, they look surprised. Someone even thought I was lying when I mentioned my lack of dating.

I do see your point. What he did was an accumulation of a variety of factors including lifelong mental health problems, social isolation, bullying/exclusion, (perceived) abuse from his step mother and (possible/likely) neglect from his famous travelling movie director of a father who likely tended to just leave Elliot to his toys/games and sending him to camps rather than showing him love and affection.

However according to his manifesto, which should still be taken with a grain of salt due to his skewered perspective, it's possible he was planning to commit violence and homicide long before age 22.

I remember a particular section in the Age 17 section of the book where he had thoughts of a society where women would be hidden away from the world and imprisoned and only used for reproductive purposes while the 'Chad/a55hole' men he hated would rot in concentration camps.

That is not healthy

He acquired his gun license before 22 and while in the process of practicing at the gun range said he had fantasies of killing and taking 'revenge' while he was learning how to operate a firearm.

He did need stronger family support, therapy, medication at an earlier age, that's for sure.

But I feel like he began his spiralling path at maybe age 17. But it's been a while since I read his biography.

Still, early in his biography he shows a very unhealthy and sick attitude of the world and people.

I feel as if with medication, therapy and better family support he would have been under control, but still had a lot of if not all of the same issues that needed to be addressed.

I am surprised my detractors haven't come to this thread. I thought they would take the chance to further dehumanize me. People like Piobaire have actually made accusations of me being like Elliot Rodger. Odd for someone who claims to be a Buddhist as well as someone who has a peace advocating signature to make such judgemental and spiteful accusations.

Just ignore your detractors.....

Does it matter what most people think? Or does it matter what you think?

Marknis, IGNORE the meanies here.

People aren't 'telling you these things'. They are just spouting clichés cos they have nothing better to say.

I guess my point was it wasn't simply about not valuing his or others' lives. Like you said, he was a dude with problems in several areas that accumlated to the incident. I'm doubting that his parents spent much time with him, and as an Aspie lacking intuitive social skills, not practicing much social interaction would only further put him at a disadvantage in relation to his peers. He probably felt somewhat disconnected from the world, and many of his thoughts were disconnected from reality.

I think he was in therapy. Medication probably would have helped too, and having a more supportive and present family unit would probably have made a world of difference, but I think there's something else that could have helped, and that's if someone had taken the time to comprehensively teach him social skills and how to interact with other people. I think he lacked that knowledge and I don't know if he was even very aware that he lacked that knowledge. He seemed to instead form the opinion that the world was simply against him, and that he was doing everything the same as everyone else but not getting the same results.

That's a lot nicer than what my detractors would say. One of them unfortunately comes up whenever I hear advice about seeing women as friends first instead of potential girlfriends and not dwelling on looking for a relationship. Sure, that's good advice but in the same breath he also told me I see women as "potential victims" (?) and that I am a "creep".

Sure. Maybe then these endless new topics would end.

It shouldn't matter if they want you to have a girlfriend or not, its not up to them.

That said I would like it if you could find a way to be more content being single, so you don't dwell so much on it. Because than you would probably feel better, but I don't think you shouldn't have a girlfriend...but since you don't at this point it would probably be better not to dwell so much on it.

I know I have said that before, I just stubbornly hope it sinks in....I have wasted a lot of time in my life dwelling on things so just hate to see others dwell so much on something to their detriment.

A part of me realizes my thought patterns for nearly the last 12 years now have not helped me. But how long will it take to undo these patterns? Will they take 12 years as well? I suppose I could wait a little longer but not another 12 years, that would be too long. I would be 42 and my youth would almost be gone. I want my 30's to atleast be better than my 20's.

I can sometimes be okay being single but if I see a couple pass me by or if someone tells me they are engaged, I feel depressed all over again. It makes me wonder "Why them and not me?". Admittedly, some of the people who tell me they are engaged I'll later see them with their partners and it'll look like they are "settling". I am not demanding a cheerleader, prom queen, or supermodel girlfriend but I atleast want someone who is attractive enough and has similar interests. The women my parents and grandmother tried to set me up with I didn't find physically attractive and they didn't share any common interests with me. They tended to be super religious and only did things Bible Belt women are expected to be interested in.