Are you overly private/secretive about your interests?

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I'm just wondering if anyone else is like this. Since I was a kid, there have just been some things that I just don't want to share with anyone and don't want anyone to know about...not even my parents or my close friends. There were always some special interests I had that I didn't mind people knowing about, but with certain things, I was/am almost obsessive about keeping it to myself and not letting anyone know about it. As a kid I was always paranoid about my parents or my brother seeing what I was doing on the computer or watching on TV...and it wasn't that I was looking up or watching anything bad or inappropriate. I just felt weird about them knowing what kinds of things I liked. I can't explain why...I don't know if I just felt like I'd be judged? I just remember how the computer and the TV were in the basement, so if I was down there by myself, I'd do/watch what I wanted but if I heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs, I'd immediately change the channel on the TV to something that seemed more "normal"...like my parents were used to seeing me watch Animal Planet and I didn't feel weird about them knowing that I watched it, so I'd change it to that. I had become obsessed with this show called Early Edition about a guy who gets the next day's newspaper a day early and tries to save people. There was nothing wrong with it and it was a fairly family-friendly show, so it's not like my parents would have been upset about me watching it...but for some reason I just didn't want them to know I watched it. There were also certain websites I was ok with them knowing that I visited, but at one point I became obsessed with names and would constantly go on a site called Behind the Names and for some reason I didn't want them to know...again, it wasn't an inappropriate site, I'd just get on there and look up the meaning of names, or create polls under an anonymous account. But I always cleared the browsing history on the computer after I went on there and I'd always close it if someone came downstairs. I also loved to write stories as a kid, but I refused to let anyone read them.

I feel like I'm still like this as an adult...there are definitely interests I have that I don't tell anyone about. Of course, it's easier to hide now since I have my own computer and I just watch YouTube videos or Netflix way more than I watch anything on TV. I also hate when people touch or go through my stuff because some of it is super personal to me. I actually got so upset last night because my mom went through my closet and cleaned it out...and I feel kind of bad for being so upset about it, because she thought she was just being helpful (I've been busy and stressed out lately because I'm student teaching, and I had kind of been letting my room go, even though I was planning on cleaning it up as soon as possible). There were some things in there that I definitely did not want her to see. Some of my schoolwork - I am always extremely uncomfortable with anyone (other than the teacher who has to grade it) seeing my school assignments. The worst thing is that I had a book in there that was about some slightly alternative religious beliefs...I consider that EXTREMELY private, so for that reason, I didn't have it out in the open on my desk or my bookshelf. I had ordered it off of Amazon and kept it inside the box that it came in and then put it in the closet. Well, she went through everything in there, and I know she saw the book because she took it out of the box and put it on my bookshelf. She hasn't said anything to me about it...maybe she didn't even pay close attention to what it was, and I suppose she figures it's not her business if she did see what it was about. But I can't help but feel so awkward around her now...she has pretty traditional Christian beliefs and I don't know how she'd feel about the book (it's about an alternative Christian doctrine called conditionalism/annihilationism). I know I'm probably overthinking it but I haven't been able to stop worrying and feeling paranoid/embarrassed about her seeing it. There had been no warning that she was going to do this, and she did it while I was at work all day, so I had no idea until after the fact. Again, I'm just so upset and feel violated that she went though my stuff like that, but I'm trying not to show it, since she was trying to help me and because she hasn't brought up the book, so it would just make things more awkward if I told her how much I didn't want her to see it. But I almost had a meltdown last night over it.

So yeah, is anyone else like this? Do you get really upset about people going through and seeing your personal belongings, and/or do you not want people to know about your interests, personal beliefs, etc.?

I'm like this as well and I've always done the exact same thing with switching the channel and changing the screen even when doing totally appropriate things. Honestly, I could have written this exact post because I do all of this. It's caused issues in my relationship because my partner perceives these behaviors as me being sneaky even though I'm literally doing nothing wrong and I'm not sure how to explain it because I know it looks strange.

I can't stand people touching my stuff, either. I've had a similar situation with my partner cleaning my bookshelf and seeing a book that I'd really rather he didn't see. I can't even let him take my laundry out of the dryer for some reason. I don't know why but it all makes me very uncomfortable.

I wish I could give some insight into what causes me to do it but I have literally no idea. I just see everything as being too personal and I've always been very closed off. I don't like anyone to know too much about me.

Yes, and most at the time.
Even if said interest or opinion is mundane, popular, or widely acceptable.
It had alwayd been that way even as a child.


I always close the PC's monitor whenever someone enters the room. Always not showing what's on my tablet. Always keeping my doodles and notes as secret, had created various codes, and made various hiding places.

No one in real life what my 'opinions' are -- political (although I have none at this part really), philosophical (varies), or otherwise. Almost never spoke towards anything in adjectives.

And, I always wanted to live alone. Or have an entire room that only I alone could only enter. No one meddling with my stuff, no one taking and making a mess on my space for various reasons other than just being secretive.


I'm not sure. The more the person knows too much about me, the more like I feel there's some sort of a burden that someone else knew.
It's like wanting people to forget me so I could let them go easily, and do what suits me without making anyone question or worry.

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I feel so much less lonely/odd after reading these posts - thanks for sharing! As a little kid, I would never, ever share my interests even with close friends and family. No one ever learned how much I adored a few TV shows and following politics. I had a vague sense people weren’t supposed to be so deeply interested in such things.

As for claiming territory, wow, did I hate the concept of sharing playground equipment in elementary school! After a couple of dramatic scenes, the other kids finally let me keep my favorite swing to myself. Today, my husband and daughter share the compulsion to possess parts of the public areas of the house. We always sit in the same seats at the dining table, and our TV room is broken into private seating zones in which we don’t intrude unless invited.

I am "overly" private/ secretive. Period.

And I wouldn't want it any other way.

The only person I share with is my mother. Even with her I can't help but feel uncomfortable if she's walking by while I look at at something on the PC.
To say nothing of my too curious father!
And no, I don't do anything nasty or hush hush, it's just that it's uncomfortable.

In school when we did writing assignments, the teacher would often go around glancing here and there. I would always automatically lean over my work, hiding it from view with an arm or by leaning closely over it. This would be work that I would deliver to the teacher just minutes after. But until it was ready, I was not ready to have anyone see it.
Hating being watched when doing things seems to be common among us.

I think I grew to be coy about sharing my interests because they were often so unusual or tediously detailed that to share them just tried people's patience and made them think I was strange. With people I'm not close to, I probably also tend to be secretive about anything emotionally important to me, but I guess nearly everybody is pretty guarded in that way, as we live in a rather bullying, competitive world.

So I try to filter things these days. If my recent activities come up in conversation, I'll just try to give a brief, easy-to-digest summary (which isn't always easy for some of the convoluted, esoteric projects I take on), and if the activity whiffs of eccentricity, I'm careful what I say. I tend to stick to people who like eccentricity, which helps. Otherwise it's not really friendship because I'm barely sharing anything about myself and I tend to become almost invisible.

When I was younger I hid nothing. My bird obsession started when I was young and that being my main thing everyone knows about it and well it's what most people associate with me.
But when I was a teenager I became obsessed with Pokemon and it was considered inappropriate and unusual by everyone I knew and people made fun of me.
In college I became obsessed with Sonic and I tried to semi-hide it but my college roommate knew. That fandom lasted a few years but I didn't want to be made fun of like I was as a teenager so I kept it secret irl.

I am very much like this and I have often wondered why. I don't even like telling people what kind of music I like etc, not because it's especially weird, just because I don't want them to know. I think for me it might be because I'm scared of being judged. But also I think I weirdly just like having secrets, not bad ones, but just keeping stuff very private.

I've never been secretive about mine. Whenever I am in the messroom at work I am always reading a book about my interests. When I was at school I read books whilst walking to and from school and at every other opportunity. People sometimes comment negatively about it. I don't care. I feel sorry for them that they don't have such intense interests in interesting things. I wouldn't be at all bothered about someone being able to see what I am looking at on my computer.

I am too overly secretive, I have always been. Like a child I didn't have much privacy. My siblings were touch and looking at my things and i hated when they did it. I didn't have my own children's room we all had children's room together. I didn't have problem, when my interest was interest for someone other. But I didn't want explain nothing about it, share it and be judged for it when nobody other had same interest.

I write a diary. I have been started as child. Writing help me to process informations. But this are my processess and I don't want so anyone read it, i dont want so anyone know my thoughts. With paper form was problems where hide it. Sometimes my siblings found my diaries. I am happy for word documents protected with passwords on my computer, now I don't have to hide my files in pictures, change file extensions and hide where will later find it nobody include me. My brother once installed in our computer keylogger (software, that save all pressed keys into file - usernames, passwords, everything). Once, when I had my own notebook, he learned at school about sniffers (interception net), again he used it against me. Move away from parents and especially from my brother saved me.

Maybe the cause that I am overly secretive is that I didn't have privacy as child.

I feel uncomfortable sharing my interests with anyone but my mom and even then I don’t share them all. Like you, I feel like I would be judged. I actually have been the one time I did share my interests with some friends (quite enthusiastically to my retroactive chagrin). After the reaction I received from that, I keep things very private, I was somewhat reluctant to share my interests with those friends but it was a moment of weakness...

Thank you veggie farmer!

The reaction I got when I was that I was labeled figuratively. They went around the school and suddenly every one thought I was obsessed with grafting trees. It was/is one of my interests and I took pride in it. They asked me about what I like to do and stuff like that. I said I had a lot of things and then started listing. They asked what tree grafting was and I tried to explain. However, I got quite enthusiastic and went on in great detail for about 20 minutes (which is a long time to monologue about something). At first it became an inside joke I didn’t like, “I’ll let you know when I need a tree grafted” and stuff like that. Then the entire grade was in on it. Eventually I got it through to the original recipients of my interests that I like doing a lot of other things. I have many interests. Although this time I was careful not to share them. It eventually died down some after that. I am more cautious though.

Yes, I can be like that sometimes. I think that's mostly because I'm terrified of being judged and, as an aspie, my special interests are very important to me and I would never expose them to anybody's criticism, not even my family's. I only let them know about the special interests I know they would approve of (like the Harry Potter saga when I was a child and Game of Thrones as an adult) but I never told them about my weirder special interests (such as the history of the Holocaust and the personality types of the Enneagram when I was a teen and ASD and neurodiversity now that I'm an adult). As a child I spent hours reading about my hidden special interests but, whenever my parents knocked my bedromm's door, I would hide the book I was reading under the pillow and pick another, more normal one. Now I spend many hours a day doing research on the internet and visiting forums like this one, but my family doesn't know about it and I don't let them borrow my PC until I have delated all my research history. If they ask what I'm doing I either lie or tell them to mind their own business. This has triggered a few arguments with my mother, many exasperated comments from my father, and also the mockery of my siblings, who sometimes ask me whether my secret is an addiction to porn. I would never tell them anything about my "secret special interests" unless I could be certain they would not be critical about them. So far I've only told one person about it (my art teacher for many years, whom I trust like a close friend). My parents, my siblings and my therapist don't know about them.

I relate very much to your op. However, in spite of my anxieties about judgment and rejection, I also feel a strong desire to talk about my interests, which I have to satisfy in sites like this one or talking to that only person I can trust. When I was a child I could talk to my little brother about my interests, because he was too young to judge me (but he was also too young to understand anything I told him about my interests). This changed when he became a teenager.