I sometimes feel like some sort of alien

Post Reply New Topic

Here's why:-

1. I feel like the only able-bodied person in the world who has never worked full time in my life, only part time. Even people who work part time now used to work full time at some point. I feel like a lazy person because of this, but it's not laziness, it's anxiety and that executive function thing or whatever it's called.

2. I've never had anything pierced, not even my ears. I'm quite happy not having any piercings because it does gross me out, but at the same time I do feel guilty for not ever having piercings. It seems everybody else I know have at least their ears piercd. I've never had a tattoo or dyed my hair either.

3. I dislike socialising in pubs or bars. It seems all my peers (especially relatives my age) all don't mind pubs and bars. Even if they aren't too bothered about pubs or bars, they still jump at the chance of going to one if they are invited.

4. I never had a friend stay at my house before when I was a kid. I've had cousins stay, but never a classmate. Also I never had classmates round my house for my birthday parties, only cousins. I've been to other children's parties, but I never invited anyone from my class to mine for some reason.

I just feel like the only person in the world who has never done these things what are almost as common as walking. Anybody else not done these things what everybody else around you seemingly has done?

#2 #3 and #4 also apply to me.

Welcome to autism joe

I've felt alienated all my life. It is very difficult to get through life when you're held back by anxiety, but knowing that you can still accomplish things despite your obstacles makes you a little stronger than normal. Piercings and tattoos are like clothing. Not everyone wears the same clothes do they? I'm not very social. It's fine. You're definitely not alone.

I relate.
Don't have piercings or tattoos either, and even older people have commented on it with a "but you're young!?", as if anyone under 30 just naturally has those things.
I've only worked full time once, for two weeks, and it made me suicidal. Now I only work every other weekend, but it's still hard.
I don't remember anything about my own birthdays in childhood. I guess I had a party or two, but Im not sure. I haven't celebrated it at all since I was 13 or 14.
I don't remember having sleepovers either, but I'm pretty sure that I did have friends over sometimes. I just remember that I was excited about having a visitor, but ended up really frustrated once they had been there for a few hours. And I did sleep over at my friend's house, but always got sick in the evening. Everyone thought it was bad timing, but looking back, it was probably just that I couldn't handle the stress of it.

I do like hanging out in bars, but only the quiet, shabby kinds, and not for socialising. Just for people-watching.


I've also felt alienated for most of my life. It's like everyone else is in a completely different mind-set than I am, so I feel like I'm missing out on a connection that others seem to have. Everyone knows each other better than I know anyone.

Joe

Thus far I have only had minimum wage jobs. And got fired. Thus far all my diagnoses are psychiatric

Never got a piercing, tattoo, or dyed hair either. It's just appearance. Appearances are superficial

Never socialized in pubs or bars

Nobody that is not a relative ever slept in my house

In college a couple times, I slept at someone else's house

No piercings, no tattoos for me.

I’m the type of guy that would rather stay home and read than “go out.”

I had only had one friend in childhood.

I withdrew from almost all hijinks as a kid.

If a person doesn’t like all that, tough buggies!

I have never worked full time. It was a miracle that I was able to get a part time job. I still don't have a driver's license, so my job options are limited. When it comes to getting a job, its about who you know. As an autistic person, I'm not well connected. Obtaining a full time job is almost impossible without a driver's license, a car, and connections.

My ears are pierced, but I don't wear earrings everyday. My earlobes are thin and can't handle having earrings in them everyday. I think other kinds of piercings look terrible, trashy, and dangerous.

I don't go to bars too often. If I do, I go with my mom. The bars in my area are full of creeps and pervs.

I went to three different sleepovers for three different classmates from two different schools when I was in elementary school. I never got invited to any of these girl's houses ever again after the first sleepovers with each one. I had one sleepover at my house with my best friend in high school and I slept over at her house one time in high school. I hardly ever got invited to birthday parties. When people did invite me, I would go, but I would never get invited to any birthday parties they had after that. Usually, I was invited because the parents made them invite all the girls in the class. I went a couple of my bestfriend's birthday parties. I never had birthday parties for my birthday. I didn't have anyone to invite anyway since I didn't have any friends at school. My birthday was usually celebrated with family members. My best friend made me birthday cards for my birthday.

I feel like an alien all the time because my life experiences are so different from most people my age. Most people my age have relationship experience, driver's licenses, vehicles, and full time jobs. Most people my age have never experienced the trauma I experienced from various kinds of abuse I endured. Most people my age haven't had to wonder where they were gonna live because one of their parents was unemployed several times. Most people my age have never had to move across the country as a child not knowing if their parent would be able to find work when they got there. Most people my age had extended family to help them out, but I never did or will. I don't find very many people's lives relatable at all. I feel like I'm not a part of regular society a lot of the time.

Thank you for support.

I don't feel alien all the time. I can emotionally connect to others, and I enjoy social interaction, and I understand social cues and stuff. But when it comes to some things, like what I wrote in my original post, I suddenly feel weird because I don't do those things that seem so common among almost everyone I know.

I always thought my grandmother worked part time all her adult life (until she retired), but when I asked my mum she said that she did work full time when she was very young.

Also I feel isolated when people in a room are talking about how they went out and got drunk when they were young. I know it's nothing to be ashamed of if I didn't do it, but going out and getting drunk with friends at 18 seemed to be something the vast majority of people do, even though most older people look back and frown upon their young selves. But when you've never done that before, it makes you feel like an over-moral goody-goody or something.

I've always been afraid of being 'different' as a child. I remember when I was about 8 I had lots of mess under my bed (just toys and paper and stuff that got under there), and I panicked because I thought I was the only kid in the whole world with an atrocious mess under the bed. So I used to look under other kid's beds to see if they had a mess too. Some did, which put my mind at ease. That sort of thing wouldn't worry me now, but some things do bother me still, and I think that people think I'm unsociable just because I don't like going to the pub.

Reasons why I "sometimes feel like some sort of alien"

No precious lil "friends"

Because I do not see everything as "cool" or "sucks"

Similar. I also feel subhuman.

I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I obey polices and laws. I’m unsuccessful. I’m not into sports . I’m too weird

I am all of those things---except I like sports.

I don't begrudge anybody their sports, but the mere sound of it makes me wanna be someplace else. that seems to make me an alien with everybody I know, even my sister likes sports!

You're better than sports.

You're Doc with all the gadgets....

I had a full time job which caused a burnout that I still haven't recovered from 7 months later. Be happy that you understand what you can and can't handle.

My mom used to make me try to socialize when I was little. She made me have a birthday party in grade 2 maybe and I invited kids from my class. She made a big fuss, made all kinds of food and only 2 kids showed up. She never made me invite kids to my birthday after that

I've never had anything pierced, either.

and i do not act like i am: morally innocent, absolutely important, cool, wise, smart, awesome.

and, i see things in shades of grey. not "good person", "bad person".

my favorite words are not "help", "hurt", "person/people", "we", "hey", "huh", "what?", "question", "why", "sucks", "guy", "girl", "mad".

and, i am not full of energy and do not love cracking jokes.

and, i do not find it necessary to "i babble, therefore i am". ("i think, therefore i am". descartes).

and, i do not drive like a murderer is chasing me

and i am not completely materialistic and superficial