its so easy to get depressed over this crap

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jon85
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14 Feb 2018, 6:59 am

I can feel myself drifting into another realm. It's empty, it's dark, it's lonely. My whole body feels numb, and almost like I am nothing more than a delusion.

Nothing is real. My thoughts, my feelings... it's all an illusion.

I really really feel like I'm not here physically.

"And my behaviour is hard to understand
When I'm like a phone with no connection"


Just drifting... aimlessly, pointlessly, endlessly. And i have these feelings every day, and have had these feelings since forever. And i know other people don't get this because i can see connections. I can see how they connect with the world around them. And i really really don't know how to do that.

Just what are we? Really? This perception of the world around us that other people fail to grasp... just exactly why is it there? Is it really nothing more than a mental 'condition'? Or could it be something more?

I think this is why i love gaming so much. I don't get these feelings when I'm playing a game. There is meaning, the connections are there, I am engaged. I wish i could live in my games :( Screw this sh***y world and it's restrictions and nonsense.


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Trueno
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14 Feb 2018, 7:20 am

The feeling of dislocation is not uncommon and I've seen a few references to it on this forum.

If you're feeling up to it, I'd recommend you read Sartre's "Existentialism and Humanism" which is an essay based upon a lecture he gave in 1945. Existentialism is fundamentally about subjectivity and is not necessary a desperate philosophy of nihilism (as it is sometimes portrayed). If you feel you are trying to make sense of a world where 2+2=5, then you may be a secret existentialist.


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jon85
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14 Feb 2018, 7:59 am

I really struggle with reading these days, unless it's in short paragraphs. But i will look into it, it does sound interesting.


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Trueno
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14 Feb 2018, 8:11 am

It's a short book and about as accessible as it gets for existentialism... unless you try "Existentialism for Dummies" which is a great book as a starter.
Best of luck in whatever you do.... maybe keep on gaming until you "connect" again.


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