This psychologist speaks the truth.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Feb 2018, 4:04 pm

http://nordic.businessinsider.com/best- ... ist-2017-9


Quote:
Finkel's most recent piece of research on the topic is a study he co-authored with Samantha Joel and Paul Eastwick and published in the journal Psychological Science. The researchers had undergraduates fill out questionnaires about their personality, their well-being, and their preferences in a partner. Then they set the students loose in a speed-dating session to see if they could predict who would like who.

As it turns out, the researchers could predict nothing. Actually, the mathematical model they used did a worse job of predicting attraction than simply taking the average attraction between two students in the experiment.


Hence why, threads like "Which traits do girls find attractive in guys?" are useless and don't reflect reality and won't give you guys any idea how to be more attractive. Retro, I am looking at you, stop making such useless threads, duh!

The source study is worth to look into:


Quote:
Abstract
Matchmaking companies and theoretical perspectives on close relationships suggest that initial attraction is, to some extent, a product of two people’s self-reported traits and preferences. We used machine learning to test how well such measures predict people’s overall tendencies to romantically desire other people (actor variance) and to be desired by other people (partner variance), as well as people’s desire for specific partners above and beyond actor and partner variance (relationship variance). In two speed-dating studies, romantically unattached individuals completed more than 100 self-report measures about traits and preferences that past researchers have identified as being relevant to mate selection. Each participant met each opposite-sex participant attending a speed-dating event for a 4-min speed date. Random forests models predicted 4% to 18% of actor variance and 7% to 27% of partner variance; crucially, however, they were unable to predict relationship variance using any combination of traits and preferences reported before the dates. These results suggest that compatibility elements of human mating are challenging to predict before two people meet.




Happy Valentines, fellas.



GiantHockeyFan
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15 Feb 2018, 7:19 am

This is probably why my wife was probably one of my worst matches on online dating. Of the 200+ women I was matched with over the years, she was probably around 190. On paper, we have little in common yet the relationship works extremely well. As I have told my perpetually single friend over the years:
There is no mathematical formula for love and relationships!

This is another reason why online dating doesn't work: you can come out with all the laundry lists you want but much of attraction is subconscious and usually based on how someone was raised. When I first started out I was drawn to women who needed 'fixing' and several women who rejected me were drawn to heavy drinkers, in both cases because of how we were raised.



Closet Genious
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15 Feb 2018, 10:14 am

I disagree, this is bs.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2018, 12:04 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
I disagree, this is bs.


Elaborate why.



whatamievendoing
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15 Feb 2018, 12:56 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
There is no mathematical formula for love and relationships!


I honestly sort of wish there was, though. Love is too illogical and random for me to see it as anything worth actively pursuing.


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sly279
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15 Feb 2018, 1:52 pm

whatamievendoing wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
There is no mathematical formula for love and relationships!


I honestly sort of wish there was, though. Love is too illogical and random for me to see it as anything worth actively pursuing.

Love in current ,modern form is very logical and superficial love today is a business transaction between two people. Its soulless now.



Kiprobalhato
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15 Feb 2018, 2:36 pm

^an odd way to spell "lust", but i'll take it. :)


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sly279
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15 Feb 2018, 3:03 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
^an odd way to spell "lust", but i'll take it. :)

Huh?



kraftiekortie
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15 Feb 2018, 3:10 pm

Everybody happens to have their own "truth," in addition to the "universal" truths.

What's true for one person might not be true for another.



sly279
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15 Feb 2018, 3:57 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Everybody happens to have their own "truth," in addition to the "universal" truths.

What's true for one person might not be true for another.

That’d be opinion. Truth is same as fact. Truth is hitler killed millions of people. There are universal truth/facts. Or would you say Iran saying holacaust didn’t happen is just their truth. Sky is blue is another universal truth. Or the earth being round.

Vernon has their own opinion, opinions can become fake truths when a lot of people share them. Like what a real man is or making Pluto a non planet.



B19
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15 Feb 2018, 4:17 pm

Facts are bare bones and often microscopic. Truth is more nuanced. Facts are the skeleton, truth is a bigger picture, the flesh on the bones. They are not the same.

Courts of law deal with facts, not the wider truth of situations. Some psychologists deal with truth, some with facts, according to different specialiaties. It's the same in life. People either edit in or edit out the wider truth of things.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2018, 4:22 pm

The holocaust is a fact, not a truth that can be interpreted to our liking.



B19
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15 Feb 2018, 4:27 pm

I don't know what the holocaust relevance to your topic is. Truth can be both subjective and objective, critical thinking and knowledge of facts are important to the latter, while subjective truth can be subject to personal biases or missing parts of the facts.



Sabreclaw
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15 Feb 2018, 10:04 pm

The point is people are more complex than dating gurus give them credit for. Of course, that just makes being perpetually single even more embarrassing, lol.



Chronos
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15 Feb 2018, 10:22 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://nordic.businessinsider.com/best-dating-apps-according-to-psychologist-2017-9


Quote:
Finkel's most recent piece of research on the topic is a study he co-authored with Samantha Joel and Paul Eastwick and published in the journal Psychological Science. The researchers had undergraduates fill out questionnaires about their personality, their well-being, and their preferences in a partner. Then they set the students loose in a speed-dating session to see if they could predict who would like who.

As it turns out, the researchers could predict nothing. Actually, the mathematical model they used did a worse job of predicting attraction than simply taking the average attraction between two students in the experiment.


Hence why, threads like "Which traits do girls find attractive in guys?" are useless and don't reflect reality and won't give you guys any idea how to be more attractive. Retro, I am looking at you, stop making such useless threads, duh!

The source study is worth to look into:


Quote:
Abstract
Matchmaking companies and theoretical perspectives on close relationships suggest that initial attraction is, to some extent, a product of two people’s self-reported traits and preferences. We used machine learning to test how well such measures predict people’s overall tendencies to romantically desire other people (actor variance) and to be desired by other people (partner variance), as well as people’s desire for specific partners above and beyond actor and partner variance (relationship variance). In two speed-dating studies, romantically unattached individuals completed more than 100 self-report measures about traits and preferences that past researchers have identified as being relevant to mate selection. Each participant met each opposite-sex participant attending a speed-dating event for a 4-min speed date. Random forests models predicted 4% to 18% of actor variance and 7% to 27% of partner variance; crucially, however, they were unable to predict relationship variance using any combination of traits and preferences reported before the dates. These results suggest that compatibility elements of human mating are challenging to predict before two people meet.




Happy Valentines, fellas.


I believe a lot of attraction comes down to pheromones and things difficult to quantify, such as dynamics, non-verbal body language, and personality.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Feb 2018, 1:37 am

^ It’s the looks, dear.