How can I make you feel like a man?

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sly279
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16 Feb 2018, 5:40 pm

CannibalCorpse wrote:
What do girls/women do, how to they treat you that makes you feel awesome, happy and you crave her presence more and you can't stop thinking about her. Or she makes you feel like you could conquer the world.
Or you just feel when she is around everything is just fine.
Is it more clear?
Basically I just want to know how to be an awesome girlfriend.

Is your bf not feeling like a man? Has he told you this?

For me I’d just want to be loved and liked for who I am. I’ve neber had gf, so i can’t really answers what girls or women have done for me.
I can say don’t ever appply stereotypes and then say he’s not a real man for not meeting them. I don’t feel like a man cause women have told me over and over I’m not cause I don’t have my life together and I’m not strong or manly. Or that real men are dominant not submissive, don’t show emotions etc.

For me a woman would just have to like/love me and want to be around me for me to desire her presence. I’d want to be around her a lot and hug and cuddle a lot. Or atleast talk to her via text throughout the day. But I’m more feminine so I’m more submissive, clingy,weak physically, emotional. All things ok for women but not men.

So to summary just like and support him for being himself.



Ichinin
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16 Feb 2018, 8:07 pm

Basically I just want to know how to be an awesome girlfriend.

Well, that is up to the individual, but for me a GF would be:

* Someone who don't scream to me, even if we disagree.
* Someone who is not shallow.
* Someone who do not need to bring home 58 friends every weekend. Too stressful.
* Someone who i can talk to about various subjects.
* Someone who wants to cuddle while watching movies.
* Someone who do not smoke or use strong perfumes.
* Someone who drinks moderately and do not do drugs.
* Someone who lets me have my interests and i let have hers. (Respect each other)
* Someone who wants to go out and eat on restaurants and not just sit home and eat pizza.
* Someone who want to take care of her own body, i.e. follow me on trails/day hiking.
* Someone who do not go to the gym, and do the above instead.
* Someone who go for what she like instead as a job of having one that make her feel bad.
* Someone who supports me and that i support back, emotionally i mean.
* Someone who is at least somewhat independent and does not need me to hold her hand all the time.
* Someone who do not communicate using NT signalling, she should say what she means instead.
* Someone who wants to have sex regularly and is ok with my requests.
* Someone who isn't too overweight, unless she is willing to change and exercise.
* Someone who isn't too overly fond of how one should live life according to society.
* Someone with empathy and understanding, not some psycho.
* Someone who do not listen to crap music.
* Someone who do not dress like a homeless person, i.e. buys damaged jeans (WTF is up with that?)

Stuff like that would make a super girlfriend for me - one that i will never find so i'm not even looking, i know that some of it is highly subjective, but you get the idea.


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RetroGamer87
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17 Feb 2018, 9:05 am

Tell him he's good in bed.


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CannibalCorpse
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17 Feb 2018, 11:07 am

Thanks guys, this is exactly what I wanted to read.



RetroGamer87
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17 Feb 2018, 12:19 pm

Are you trying to make someone feel like a man?


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CannibalCorpse
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17 Feb 2018, 5:20 pm

Yes and no.
I'm in a kinda "under maintainance, check back later" state. Basically changing everything, the way I look, how I dress, be more feminine, be fit and sporty. Be a woman men love and adore.
As I'm tired of being single and got to the point where I stopped lying to myself about a lot of things.

Also when I next meet someone I really like, I don't want to screw it so I'm just learning how to handle my emotions, how to handle that men are men, how to understand them.

Also in a way I just want to be appreciative to men as to be honest I really hate this witch hunt going on, creating divide between men and women. I love men and I want to show them there're still some normal women left. But for this I should know how men want to be treated. I only know how women want to be treated and it's different I guess.



kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2018, 5:24 pm

Hey Cannibal,

You shouldn't do all that. Just be yourself. I like you better when you're yourself.

I feel like all this stuff is going to backfire on you.



Ichinin
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17 Feb 2018, 5:42 pm

CannibalCorpse wrote:
I don't want to screw it so I'm just learning how to handle my emotions, how to handle that men are men, how to understand them.


One thing though: everyone is different.

And if you try to fit in too much that may look weird to some, as if you are playing a role instead of yourself.


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RetroGamer87
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17 Feb 2018, 5:48 pm

CannibalCorpse wrote:
Also in a way I just want to be appreciative to men as to be honest I really hate this witch hunt going on, creating divide between men and women. I love men and I want to show them there're still some normal women left. But for this I should know how men want to be treated. I only know how women want to be treated and it's different I guess.

This problem has a simple solution. Men just want to be treated like human beings.


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Chronos
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17 Feb 2018, 6:22 pm

CannibalCorpse wrote:
Yes and no.
I'm in a kinda "under maintainance, check back later" state. Basically changing everything, the way I look, how I dress, be more feminine, be fit and sporty. Be a woman men love and adore.
As I'm tired of being single and got to the point where I stopped lying to myself about a lot of things.

Also when I next meet someone I really like, I don't want to screw it so I'm just learning how to handle my emotions, how to handle that men are men, how to understand them.

Also in a way I just want to be appreciative to men as to be honest I really hate this witch hunt going on, creating divide between men and women. I love men and I want to show them there're still some normal women left. But for this I should know how men want to be treated. I only know how women want to be treated and it's different I guess.


It's fine to make improvements but be careful that you do not try to be someone other than yourself and adopt a facade you cannot maintain. The burden will become immense until you cannot support it anymore.

I am not particularly girly so when I decided to attempt to dress more feminine, I did not go all out with makeup, dresses and heels or adopt a stereotypical female persona.

I started wearing t shirts tailored for women rather than unisex t shirts, and a small amount of lip pigment (which I no longer wear), and I started wearing a nicer coat.

I suppose I could ramp it up but I find most women's clothing barely clothing and I don't like the time and monetary requirements if the entire makeup routine. Additionally I feel the beauty industry is an avoidable source of anxiety for women. I went to buy some moisturizer the other day and I was inundated with $40 "anti aging" "anti wrinkle" and "rejuvenating" concoctions. I just wanted some $5 stuff like one puts on their hands but that wouldn't clog pores.

However while I was in there, I decided to look at the ingredients of some of these products. I noticed that some of them contain soy. Certain compounds found in soy can mimic estrogen. In post menopausal women, soy formulas can effectively relieve hot flashes by binding to estrogen receptors. However in pre menopausal women, when these compounds bind to estrogen receptors, they block the estrogen she naturally produces, which is stronger. Estrogen makes skin look nice. So if she is pre menopausal, perhaps, unbeknownst to her, these creams are actually causing her to appear to age faster by blocking her natural estrogen. How convenient for these companies, then she feels compelled to invest in more of their products.

Disclaimer: I do not advise using exogenous estrogen as a beauty supplement because it increases the risk of cancer in women. Estrogen should only be taken for medically necessary reasons.



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17 Feb 2018, 6:23 pm

I don't sense that you have to "change," Cannibal.

Only better yourself. Make yourself a "better version" of yourself.

But don't "change" yourself.

If I knew you in person, I'd be able to better determine what sort of person you are.

But I sense you're a good person, anyway.



sly279
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17 Feb 2018, 6:32 pm

CannibalCorpse wrote:
Yes and no.
I'm in a kinda "under maintainance, check back later" state. Basically changing everything, the way I look, how I dress, be more feminine, be fit and sporty. Be a woman men love and adore.
As I'm tired of being single and got to the point where I stopped lying to myself about a lot of things.

Also when I next meet someone I really like, I don't want to screw it so I'm just learning how to handle my emotions, how to handle that men are men, how to understand them.

Also in a way I just want to be appreciative to men as to be honest I really hate this witch hunt going on, creating divide between men and women. I love men and I want to show them there're still some normal women left. But for this I should know how men want to be treated. I only know how women want to be treated and it's different I guess.

I’d rather the lady I was with just be herself. Besides this planet has too many normal women, I don’t like normal women and they don’t think I’m good enoug, wish we had more weird women.



RetroGamer87
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17 Feb 2018, 6:35 pm

Who says you have to be a girly girl? Tomboys are awesome! :D


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Wolfram87
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18 Feb 2018, 12:13 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Who says you have to be a girly girl? Tomboys are awesome! :D


Just as there are many ways in which to be a "girly girl", there are many ways to be a tomboy. Not all of them awesome.



kraftiekortie wrote:
Only better yourself. Make yourself a "better version" of yourself.

But don't "change" yourself.
'

Advice like this is vague, self-contradictory and unhelpful. If you don't like something about yourself, work on improving it. The mere act of attempting self-improvement is an indicator of attractive qualities. I started a long-range project of self improvement about a year ago, and while progress is slow, I've had more dates and female contact between then and now than I ever have before.


As for how to make a man feel like a man, there are a few things:

Initiate physical contact. Hugs, kisses, caresses, little things like that. Guys often hesitate to do it unless we're already in a fairly established relationship, because we're not sure it'll be welcomed and we don't want to risk it. By initiating, you'll show that you welcome it from the guy, and open for him to initiate at a alter time as well.

Give him openings to be a provider, even if it's just little things. And show him appreciation when he does. It's amazing how many women will proclaim themselves to be strong and independent and all that, but somehow twist that into "I need/want a guy who will give me stuff and do things for me, but not expect to be appreciated for it". I'm sure you can see how lopsided that equation is.

Basically, humans are still cavemen, and many things in our behaviour are explained by that. So in that sense: let him protect you, even if you don't need protecting. Let him provide things for you, even if you could get them yourself, or do without them. Especially let him use his skills (if he has any particular ones, such as cooking) for your benefit. And perhaps most important; never, ever take any of it for granted.


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Ichinin
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18 Feb 2018, 4:02 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Who says you have to be a girly girl? Tomboys are awesome! :D


Like the great poet Panthera once said: "You can't be something you're not - be yourself".


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CannibalCorpse
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18 Feb 2018, 4:41 pm

Be yourself, by yourself
Stay away from me
And this great poet continued like that^^

I don't understand people.
I am not changing myself. I am still going to be me. I am improving myself.
"Be yourself!" What? Really? What if I want to look better? I need to lose weight. Why are you lot telling that I should be myself?
And also I am changing how I treat other people. As I am not a mind reader, I sometimes need to ask, how you want to be treated. How I want to treat you might be different.

Be yourself is a dangerous advice! It applies only if you are perfect inside and outside. If not, there's always room for improvement.
Accept yourself is better because than you accept that you are overweight for example therefore not that attractive and your dating pool is going to be way smaller, You can accept that.
But yeah, say it to a fat person for example. Just be yourself, you are good as you are etc you are planting thoughts that are not going to be helpful because that person will be miserable as he is himself but the world will not accept him as he is.

Anyway thanks fr the replies to my question.