Climbing but not getting anywhere

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auntblabby
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20 Feb 2018, 7:44 pm

Marknis wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

I know it's prolly been mentioned before some time, but what about seeking women from other cultures that are not so westernized?

It's not very likely in my area. Most people from places like the Middle East and Asia tend to date/marry within their own groups.

what about the orgs which exist specifically to pair westerners with easterners?

Marknis
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20 Feb 2018, 8:07 pm

auntblabby wrote:

Marknis wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

I know it's prolly been mentioned before some time, but what about seeking women from other cultures that are not so westernized?

It's not very likely in my area. Most people from places like the Middle East and Asia tend to date/marry within their own groups.

what about the orgs which exist specifically to pair westerners with easterners?

I don't know of anything like that besides mail order bride organizations but you need a high net income for those.

auntblabby
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20 Feb 2018, 8:08 pm

drat.

Marknis
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26 Feb 2018, 5:37 pm

I literally can't stop thinking about my singlehood. No matter what I do, the thoughts just circulate endlessly. I feel like my brain is messed up because I can't imagine anyone else going through this.

314pe
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27 Feb 2018, 1:40 am

Marknis wrote:

I believe that this is normal. At least for me it was. (Most) people are not meant to stay single for long periods.

auntblabby
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27 Feb 2018, 1:42 am

I've been single all my life and i'm closer to the exit than the entry. there are worse things than being permanently single.

Marknis
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27 Feb 2018, 4:21 pm

I know my older brother is in a bad marriage and he wishes he could trade places with me but I wouldn't wish my extreme loneliness on anyone.

auntblabby
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27 Feb 2018, 5:22 pm

as I was saying....

funeralxempire
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28 Feb 2018, 1:26 pm

sly279 wrote:

Oddly most men aren’t interested in fat women but most fat women have relationships so why do men lower their standards but women don’t 0.o fairer sex my but

There's more men who say they're not into fat girls than there are men who aren't into fat girls.

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funeralxempire
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28 Feb 2018, 1:27 pm

Marknis wrote:

I know my older brother is in a bad marriage and he wishes he could trade places with me but I wouldn't wish my extreme loneliness on anyone.

It's likely neither of you understands the full depth of the other's misery.

Marknis
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28 Feb 2018, 1:34 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

Marknis wrote:

I know my older brother is in a bad marriage and he wishes he could trade places with me but I wouldn't wish my extreme loneliness on anyone.

It's likely neither of you understands the full depth of the other's misery.

He can still navigate the messed up Bible Belt social scene so I think what I go through is worse. He still throws parties even at his age and his profession is going to give him redneck points while I hardly ever get to socialize with the few friends I have and even if I started my own business, rednecks and other Bible Belt morons would find ways to make me lose it.

funeralxempire
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28 Feb 2018, 1:45 pm

Marknis wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

Marknis wrote:

I know my older brother is in a bad marriage and he wishes he could trade places with me but I wouldn't wish my extreme loneliness on anyone.

It's likely neither of you understands the full depth of the other's misery.

I'm not sure you caught the point since your response indicates you either missed it or ignored it, so I'll clarify.

He likely doesn't understand just how miserable and lonely and defeated you feel. He just sees your situation as 'fixing' his.

But at the same time, you likely don't understand just how horrible it is to feel trapped in a horrible marriage that's half-anchor and half-prison. But, for someone who desperately wants a relationship, it's easy to see his situation as enviable since it would 'fix' your concern.

If neither party can understand how bad it is for the other, both will insist they have it worse than the other.

Definitely if he's more socially capable he'd be better equipped to find the next one, but I'm sure if he was stuck single for years on end he'd stop wishing he could be in your position more than his own.

Marknis
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01 Mar 2018, 1:40 pm

I certainly don't want to trade places with him. A bad marriage and four children who are constantly sick? No thanks.

I used to really want to prove him wrong. He used to think going after women was supposed to be a challenge and he rejected nice girls who I would've dated if they gave me a chance. That's another thing that made me so angry. Even when he had a relationship, other women were coming to him while I was completely available but they kept balking at me.

The Grand Inquisitor
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01 Mar 2018, 2:57 pm

Marknis wrote:

Even when he had a relationship, other women were coming to him while I was completely available but they kept balking at me.

What do you think it is that makes your brother more successful with women than yourself?

Marknis
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01 Mar 2018, 4:09 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

Marknis wrote:

Even when he had a relationship, other women were coming to him while I was completely available but they kept balking at me.

What do you think it is that makes your brother more successful with women than yourself?

His outlook was (Might still be) "America! f**k Yeah!", he drank beer, smoked, was aggressive, and believed in the "iron pumping alpha male" social construct the Bible Belt and redneck culture pushes. It made me fear I had to give up being an individual and start thinking "Reading is for fa***ts!", among other horrible anti-intellectual outlooks.

Marknis
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02 Mar 2018, 2:52 pm

I always felt like I was stuck in my older brother's shadow and nothing I did would ever make me stand out. My best years are now behind me and I only have death to look forward to.

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