As an Aspie I envy elements of lower functioning Autistics..

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EzraS
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18 Feb 2018, 10:36 am

Infantilized. That's a good way of putting it. I'm not treated as a child really, but I have to be looked after like one.



bunnyb
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18 Feb 2018, 7:38 pm

I don't consider myself low functioning but I am obviously autistic. It effects how people treat me. My Husband has medical and enduring power of attorney because I've been treated so badly by Dr's in the past that he has had to step in to stop them locking me up. When a Dr pushes me into a non-verbal, rocking, flapping, head punching mess, they use my behaviour against me rather than take a step back and look at their behaviour. We both know it could also happen if I was harassed by police. My Husband knows once he gets me away from the stress I'm going to be fine, but to someone who doesn't know me and doesn't care to know me, I look like a total loony who should be locked up for my own safety. It sucks. It really, really, really sucks. It's nothing to envy.


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RetroGamer87
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18 Feb 2018, 10:24 pm

KeepOn wrote:
wears crazy, outlandish clothes
You can wear crazy outlandish clothes if you want. Anyone can.


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19 Feb 2018, 1:14 am

I remember wishing that I was lower functioning two years ago, when I was having a lot of problems getting along with my mum. I had this idea that if I was lower functioning that I would be able to bring my self-made German helmet with me, every time I went to visit my parents. Now I realize that I have it pretty good as I am. I've held down three jobs over the past 23 years and I'm living on my own. I also have two really close friends. My mum's also willing to tolerate my wearing of the helmet.


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jadix
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19 Feb 2018, 2:43 am

This is something I have been thinking about a lot. I have wished to not be low functioning but also not judged on my struggles by appearance and a label. I do need to stim, its not just nice, it is the difference between a hellacious (feel like I am going to pass out) to life is actually bearable. The longer I hide it the worse my meltdowns are, and there is no down playing it, because I know its real. I may be able to hide it for a time, but there is a cap, and it comes at a large cost. When I hide it, I start sleeping less than four hours a night, I have meltdowns that last hours (self injury), and then I go out and hide it again, its a cycle that feels like a never ending marathon. That doesn't mean it is comparable to low functioning because it is not comparable, it is apples and oranges, because the two issues have different sets of problems, that don't need to be compared. No one knows that someone's life or easier or harder than another, comparing only serves to make you feel like you have it so bad you have no chance of a decent life, or that you have it so good you have no right to react. That is not productive or healthy. People react differently to stress and suffering, no ones mind is the same, and it manifests differently for everyone. People can not accurately assess or set expectations for others because of this. I wouldn't assume that NT people have it easy either because I have never been them. I don't like being told that I am overreacting or underreacting, I don't think any body does. I am a girl and people have said, are you on your period, which is kind of an invalidation too, or you're a girl so your emotional. I am trying to accept that high expectations from others are an unfortunate aspect of this life. But it is easier to just know for yourself that what you feel is your judgement call and no one else's. At that point you don't need to worry about where someone else is at or where they think you should be, other than to be supportive to each other. As for being picked on in school, I have never met someone who has not been bullied at some point in school, from nt to quadriplegic, autistic. Children can be mean, just to rant, I think the issue discussed here wouldn't be as big of one if we were taught in school more important skills like how to react to others, and understand our own boundaries nt and autistic, I think bullying in schools is not something that has to happen if we took a proactive approach to teaching our future generations. Like prioritizing teachers wages, and reducing student loans, and valuing interpersonal skills over the strict curriculum that applies to a rigid learning style, and teaches conformity. So many issues in our world could be addressed if the fundamental basics were prioritized. Sorry for the rant.



ZombieBrideXD
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19 Feb 2018, 2:53 am

its hard to use your skills but i am happy i have the ability to learn passing skills.

before my diagnoses my autism was more obvious and i had no functioning skills. I wasnt good at communicating, i had no social skills, i was extremely socially inept. i had a hard time because people KNEW i was different and they picked on me for it. i got treated like actual garbage and had no idea why i was being singled out.

i have a friend in the middle of the spectrum. she has very very few language abilities and is sensitive. she has a hard time telling people what she needs.

im grateful i have the ability to have a job and tell people important things. sure at work i get the "you dont seem autistic!" but now i take that as a compliment ( i used to get "oh! that makes sense) i still have problems though of course. ill always be autistic but i have skills now that makes my life easier, more tiring but easier and rewarding to be independent (as independent as i can be anyways)


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19 Feb 2018, 3:23 am

I'm not too sure what people mean by low-functioning, unless you mean intellectually or psychologically.

I've known only one other autistic black girl in my life and life has been really hard on her. At the same time she has 2 kids and is relatively unaware of the pressures of modern life because her family, especially her mother, was very understanding and supportive.

There is some truth that 'low functioning' autistic with visible issues are treated more carefully but for every good person there's like 40 horrible people.

I envy her for the help she's recieved but I'd rather her have it than me because if she was left to her own devices who knows what would have happened


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RetroGamer87
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19 Feb 2018, 3:46 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I also have two really close friends. My mum's also willing to tolerate my wearing of the helmet.
Wait, do you actually wear an M42 Stahlhelm? Is it an original? Those are worth hundreds of dollars!


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EzraS
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19 Feb 2018, 6:15 am

bunnyb wrote:
I don't consider myself low functioning but I am obviously autistic. It effects how people treat me. My Husband has medical and enduring power of attorney because I've been treated so badly by Dr's in the past that he has had to step in to stop them locking me up. When a Dr pushes me into a non-verbal, rocking, flapping, head punching mess, they use my behaviour against me rather than take a step back and look at their behaviour. We both know it could also happen if I was harassed by police. My Husband knows once he gets me away from the stress I'm going to be fine, but to someone who doesn't know me and doesn't care to know me, I look like a total loony who should be locked up for my own safety. It sucks. It really, really, really sucks. It's nothing to envy.


Yes that does indeed suck. I'm glad you have a husband to defend you.



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19 Feb 2018, 6:41 am

I'm sure there's nothing to envy. The way shrinks treated me when I was in a burnout state was really awful.

Yes, it is sometimes easier to go through when you are considered strange by others. I think this is the strategy of "the one you know".
I sometimes play this card, when my poor organisation makes me fail. Showing my strangeness and absent-mindedness as something so enormous and unprobable that people laugh and are more willing to forgive. But it has nothing to do with low functioning, it's just another coping strategy.


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bunnyb
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19 Feb 2018, 5:58 pm

EzraS wrote:
bunnyb wrote:
I don't consider myself low functioning but I am obviously autistic. It effects how people treat me. My Husband has medical and enduring power of attorney because I've been treated so badly by Dr's in the past that he has had to step in to stop them locking me up. When a Dr pushes me into a non-verbal, rocking, flapping, head punching mess, they use my behaviour against me rather than take a step back and look at their behaviour. We both know it could also happen if I was harassed by police. My Husband knows once he gets me away from the stress I'm going to be fine, but to someone who doesn't know me and doesn't care to know me, I look like a total loony who should be locked up for my own safety. It sucks. It really, really, really sucks. It's nothing to envy.


Yes that does indeed suck. I'm glad you have a husband to defend you.


Thanks. My Husband is awesome. He makes a great responsible adult and he is very qualified for the position. He's an animal Dr so he can't be bamboozled by medical jargon and nonsense. It hasn't stopped one Dr from trying to have him removed from the position and an Independent Guardian appointed. This idiot wanted to send me to an Institution :roll: . My Husband said No. The pompous ar$e Dr didn't like someone standing up to him so he tried to get rid of him. :evil: Didn't work :D . If it had I would have been sent to an Institution and died because I would rather die than be back in one of those places :( .
I have no idea why my Husband stays with me. He says it's because I'm the smartest person he's ever met and life would be boring without me. I think it's more that he's a sucker and can't help himself around damaged animals.


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naturalplastic
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19 Feb 2018, 6:08 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
I also have two really close friends. My mum's also willing to tolerate my wearing of the helmet.
Wait, do you actually wear an M42 Stahlhelm? Is it an original? Those are worth hundreds of dollars!


Earlier in his post he said the helmet was "self made" (he made it out of cheap stuff at home). So obviously it isn't a real relic of the Wiermacht



RetroGamer87
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19 Feb 2018, 6:12 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
I also have two really close friends. My mum's also willing to tolerate my wearing of the helmet.
Wait, do you actually wear an M42 Stahlhelm? Is it an original? Those are worth hundreds of dollars!


Earlier in his post he said the helmet was "self made" (he made it out of cheap stuff at home). So obviously it isn't a real relic of the Wiermacht

Oh. Too bad I only read the last sentence lol

A little while ago they auctioned off the helmet worn by John Banner in the show for $1,200. That would have been a great pick up.


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19 Feb 2018, 6:31 pm

As someone who's moderate-functioning, I envy both people who are higher and lower functioning than me. I envy people who are high-functioning enough to be able to pass for NT, and to get a job they can support themselves on. No matter how hard I try to seem NT, it's blatantly obvious to others that something's up with me - my body language is off, my voice sounds odd, I sometimes literally cannot speak, and I try to keep the stimming subtle, but I can't function at all if I don't do it. But at the same time, I seem high-functioning enough that I'm expected to meet NT standards, and am accused of not trying hard enough or not caring when I can't meet them, even by my own parents and by people who work with people on the autism spectrum for a living. I think I'd much rather be underestimated than constantly overestimated - then I'd feel good when I could prove people wrong, instead of feeling like (and being told that I am) a failure when I can't meet their expectations. If I were lower functioning (or at least more obviously so), at least people would believe that I literally cannot do some things, even things that are incredibly simple for them, and stop accusing me of simply not trying hard enough when I'm actually trying my hardest. People would also probably be more willing to accommodate me, like letting me use the text-to-speech app on my phone instead of speaking (as it stands, literally no one who's met me in person believes me when I tell them that sometimes I can't speak, so they try to force me to, assuming I just don't want to).


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19 Feb 2018, 6:47 pm

...An interesting thought :? .


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19 Feb 2018, 7:41 pm

I don't envy any person who cannot take the chaos.
More so even if there's lesser to no chaos, and still cannot take it.

On the other hand, I don't envy those who are expected to take the chaos when they couldn't and not allowed to ever take a break.


I don't envy those who had little or no control of their bodies, no matter how lenient the people around them would treat them as.
Like how I don't envy those who are needy that it'll take more of them not to fall. Or like how I don't envy the demanding when deprived they'll struggle and fall.

I especially do not envy those who don't exist to 'live' and only exists to 'survive' no matter how accomplished they are.


Nor do pity them. Even if I'd wish them all well, and wish for the world to be kinder for the likes of those.

That's just me, really. :|
I don't envy much about said people because I had enough with 'receiving' overall. So I couldn't just tell anyone to feel or see the same way.


But there's something I seriously agree with -- I had enough with overestimation and underestimation. :skull:


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