Feeling compassion towards those with opposing views.

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

billegge
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982

17 Feb 2018, 10:55 am

I wanted to know if anyone has this experience.

When normal people talk about religion or politics, I feel lots of frustration because they seem to not listen to my arguments that they are wrong. However, only in "the wrong planet" forums I do not feel that way at all when someone is religious or has political views that I do not agree with. I feel "ok" that they have opposing views.

Even stranger, and not regarding politics or religion, is one person sort of lashed out at me and called me ignorant for a comment I made but I had that same "ok" feeling. Instead, its like a weird compassionate feeling towards the other person.

Wondering if anyone else has this experience.



Trueno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2017
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,788
Location: UK

17 Feb 2018, 11:24 am

I think you mean that you're more tolerant towards people on this forum because you have some experience of what they have to go through... mostly ASD issues but also other conditions... OCD, depression.. take your pick.
I feel the same way.
Now I hope no-one trawls through my posts to find examples of intolerance... oops!


_________________
Steve J

Unkind tongue, right ill hast thou me rendered
For such desert to do me wreak and shame


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,267
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

17 Feb 2018, 11:44 am

I come from a basically "liberal" secular background, but over time I have come to find that most conservatives I encounter personally are nicer people IRL than liberals, many of whom seem to be arrogant blowhards.

This has caused me to be increasing apolitical, with a very depressed desire to engage in political discourse.

Not sure if this is the same as compassion, but it certainly does make me tolerant of anybody who doesn't actually try to ram their opinions down my throat.


_________________
My WP story


Trueno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2017
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,788
Location: UK

17 Feb 2018, 11:48 am

MaxE wrote:
I come from a basically "liberal" secular background, but over time I have come to find that most conservatives I encounter personally are nicer people IRL than liberals, many of whom seem to be arrogant blowhards.

This has caused me to be increasing apolitical, with a very depressed desire to engage in political discourse.

Not sure if this is the same as compassion, but it certainly does make me tolerant of anybody who doesn't actually try to ram their opinions down my throat.


Good point. I don't know how old you are, but do you think you've mellowed with age? I think I have.


_________________
Steve J

Unkind tongue, right ill hast thou me rendered
For such desert to do me wreak and shame


billegge
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982

17 Feb 2018, 1:56 pm

Trueno wrote:
I think you mean that you're more tolerant towards people on this forum because you have some experience of what they have to go through... mostly ASD issues but also other conditions... OCD, depression.. take your pick.
I feel the same way.
Now I hope no-one trawls through my posts to find examples of intolerance... oops!


I don't think it is tolerance, but I am accepting of their opposing views. You are partly right about knowing what they have to go through. I feel like people here are mostly honest with themselves, where I think normal people are dishonest with themselves.



Tross
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jan 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 867

17 Feb 2018, 5:42 pm

I've had to learn this myself, but when it comes to things like politics, I think everyone wants the same thing, which is what will lead to the best possible life and, with any luck, bury this whole BS identity politics construct at the bottom of the ocean where it belongs. Unfortunately politics tend to lead to people passionately defending one side or another, and both sides are guilty of adding fuel to the fire of the identity debacle as people don't always go about trying to solve issues like that in the best or most reasonable way. Want to know why Canadians hate politics? It's because politics creates a lot of unnecessary drama.

As for religion, I think it's best to keep your beliefs and let others keep theirs. Those who don't have a faith generally have their reasons for not believing, but people who do have theirs for believing. Those of differing faiths hold opposing ideas too, but everyone has a truth that guides them. It's a free world and in 2018 we shouldn't still be debating whether it's ok to tell people what to believe.

Evangelism is one thing as there's a very good reason why people evangelize, but as long as it's framed as an invitation rather than forcing one's view on someone, I'm cool with it. Forcing a religion on someone or trying to debunk someone's faith comes across as obnoxious at best, and downright mean-spirited at worst. It's cool to have debates, but I think they should be kept respectful, and only among those who wish to debate such things, rather than a "here's why your beliefs are wrong" deal.



Embla
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 4 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 490

17 Feb 2018, 6:08 pm

Interesting, I seem to be the opposite. I have trouble relating to people's opposing views online, but discussing politics in person, I have a bigger understanding of others views, and even find it very interesting to try and see things from their perspective. I think this has to do with me being very scared of conflict, so in real life, I am always on everyone's side. But online I am not on guard for potential conflict, which makes me hold on to my beliefs more tightly, and making me less open to opposing views.

But I agree in that I find that it is easier to get my point across when discussing with ND-people. Speaking to autistics, it's often harder to get equal speaking-time (I am so guilty of talking too much and too long), but once we open our mouths, I feel like what we have to say is actually listened to and considered as a valid point of view.
While with NT's, it looks as if they're listening and taking in what I have to say, but in reality, they're not hearing it. They just smile and nod, and concentrating on what they want to say next. That's such a meaningless way of conversating. Why bother discussing something if all you get out of it is to speak your thoughts out loud? You could do that on your own.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,415
Location: Long Island, New York

17 Feb 2018, 6:42 pm

On wrong planet when they go NT we go autistic.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

It is Autism Acceptance Month

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

17 Feb 2018, 8:02 pm

billegge wrote:
When normal people talk about religion or politics, I feel lots of frustration because they seem to not listen to my arguments that they are wrong.

"Normal" people...bwhahahaha... :lmao:
What a misnomer for neurotypicals...<chuckle>

The reason why these so-called "normal" people don't listen is often because they put their emotional needs ahead of their intellectual integrity needs and the quest for the truth...
Feeling that one knows what is right, that one knows what one is talking about, and impressing others in the discussion arena is a very nice feeling for everyone...
But some are happy to forgo ethical consideration to attain base emotional satisfaction...

Also, consider:
A state of confusion isn't a pleasant experience...
When a person confronts a compelling idea/concept/philosophy which is in conflict with their own, it causes "cognitive dissonance" which can be quite uncomfortable...
Most prefer not to put the effort into working through why they feel as they do...
Much easier simply to reject the concept presented and in thus doing, regain their emotional balance once again...

billegge wrote:
However, only in "the wrong planet" forums I do not feel that way at all when someone is religious or has political views that I do not agree with. I feel "ok" that they have opposing views.

While there are aberrations to what you have said here, overwhelmingly austistic individuals have a much more intelligent and emotionally balanced approach to discussions...
One of the reasons is because most put their intellectual brain into gear before they open their "mouth", or mouths if they have more than one mouth... :mrgreen:

Also, there is a greater inherent *tendency* for those on the autistic spectrum to be more analytical/rational rather than emotionalistic...
And we have what has been identified in surveys, a natural, inherent sense of fair play...
Simply a genetically inspired tendency, so no real validification for social brownie points, not that this characteristic isn't beneficial most of the time...especially in terms of credibility...

Another reason for the discrepancy of intelligent, reasonable, emotionally balanced discussions between autistic and non-autistic forums is that those on the spectrum are less likely to feel threatened by a loss of social status...

For neurotypicals, status is usually a very important aspect of their psychological makeup...
Jordan Peterson postulates that the apparent social hierarchical system found in human (and lobster) cultural/(group) constructs/(instincts) is based largely on the influence of serotonin, a "happy drug if you will...

When a human, (or lobster...;)), is successful in defending its territory, it gets a serotonin hit which then allows it to "puff up" psychologically and in an actual/literal physical stance...

Those who need to engage dominant posturing to maintain their "happy feeling" will also tend to engage in confirmation bias to avoid cognitive dissonance...but also in some more extreme instances will distort or even pervert the truth to maintain their psychological equilibrium/dominance...

Google: "One-upmanship...", if you are unfamiliar with the book...
It will give you some insight as to what the garden variety neurotypical will get up to to maintain their social status/prowess/positioning...<chuckle>
billegge wrote:
Even stranger, and not regarding politics or religion, is one person sort of lashed out at me and called me ignorant for a comment I made but I had that same "ok" feeling.

Yes, people are usually much more rational and considerate here...
That is why I call Wrong Plant my internet home...

ciao... 8)