Crying but not sad?

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When I was 6 years old I was in school and that day the whole class had a party and played music. When I listened to the music and saw how happy everyone was I started to cry but I was not sad. I did not know why I was crying. The teacher came to me and asked why I was crying, I could not explain why and could only say "the music". The teacher had the music turned off, but I felt bad because everyone liked the music.

I do not know why I cried, has anyone had an experience like this?

btw - During the party I observed everyone, I was not dancing or playing like the others and could not understand how to "party" like everyone else. I sat at my desk alone and watched everyone.

It just sounds like you were overwhelmed by it all.

My daughter sat on a bench all the way through pre-school just watching. She wasn't sad, just not ready to join in.

Edited to add: in some ways it sounds kind of healthy that you cried. You were not going to mask and grin and bear it. Has anything like that happened since?

Being overwhelmed can cause someone to cry without "being sad."

Then there's "crying with happiness."

Actually...it sounds like you might well have been "sad". Unhappy about your inability to participate, and to "party" as you said(that very thing might have made you feel bad). And thus feeling hopelessly different from everyone. Might be a good reason to feel sad. Or not. It could be some other emotion being triggered.

Just being emotionally overwhelmed. Movies, songs, etc can strike a chord and jerk your tears, without being necessarily "sad". I and a friend were chatting about our "top ten tear jerking songs". Some of our favs had sad themes, and some did not.

It could have been an intense response to feeling joy through others. Crying without being sad is one of several emotional responses that are opposite from what may be expected in the situation. There's even suggestion that this may be a healthy way of balancing your emotions.

As naturalplastic may have been alluding, there's also the possibility of alexithymia being a contributing factor to misidentification of what actually could have been a negative emotional response.

All replies are interesting and thank you for taking time to write a response.

About being overloaded: It does not seem like I was overloaded, but I cannot dismiss that I may have been overloaded and just not recognizing it. I did have strong emotions/thoughts at that moment, thinking about them dancing and having fun while I could not relate at all to what was fun and realizing how I stuck out like a sore thumb in my desk while most everyone was up and about. I knew I could not hide it. The name of this site "Wrong Planet" fit me perfectly that day. I was different and "I" was exposed.

I cannot recall, but it seems like I have. I am trying to remember something and its on the tip of my brain, something about having intense emotions when I was very young.



My inability to participate and thinking I was hopelessly different was exactly what was going through my mind, but I cannot identify with "sad" or even unhappy as the emotion I felt. When I think of sad I think of a loss, like when my mother died (a few years ago, not when I was a kid) or when my brother or sister did not want to take me with them somewhere. On that day, it was more like a very strong thought rather than an emotion.



Interesting. If someone asks me how I feel, I am at a loss to explain. I can tell you what I think, but it is very frustrating to try and tell you how I "feel". I much rather just say what I think.

You might want to check out this questionnaire and see if there could be something to the notion. The standard "This isn't a diagnosis" disclaimer applies, but it may provide an interesting lead.

Thank you

I went through the questions twice to make sure I answered them accurately.

Test Results: 140 Points
Alexithymia: You show high alexithymic traits.


Detailed Results

Your result is broken down into various factors to give you some insight into your result.

Category: Difficulty Identifying Feelings: 17 Points <15 - 18>
In this category you show some alexithymic traits.

Category: Difficulty Describing Feelings: 18 Points <10 - 12>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Vicarious Interpretation of Feelings: 7 Points <8 - 9>
In this category you show no alexithymic traits.

Category: Externally-Oriented Thinking: 34 Points <18 - 21>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Restricted Imaginative Processes: 25 Points <18 - 21>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Problematic Interpersonal Relationships: 26 Points <15 - 18>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Sexual Difficulties and Disinterest: 13 Points <10 - 12>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

I always end up on the "high" side of the line too. Funny that the header on questionnaire page refers to it as "emotional blindness", which would have made me assume it didn't apply to me. In fact, it encompasses degrees of emotional nearsightedness as well. It's helpful to have this bit of self-awareness, I think.