I want someone to go for food with me

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fifasy
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18 Feb 2018, 9:08 am

I'm terrified of the people who serve fries in food places. They all seem unfriendly to me. They stare at me, frown, or look annoyed. I can't bear going in alone so I stopped going. It looks like I am going to have to employ a support eorker, perhaps at quite a financial cost to me just to be able to do this. Because I don't want to be alone all the time. I want some social contact. I am lonely and I don't want to eat at home all the time. I want to feel like I am a part of humanity, not isolated. It doesn't seem fair that a typical NT would probably have friends to go with or have the confidence to handle it but I have to pay extra just to go get some fries. This is why we need to raise awareness among NTs of how life with Asperger's is. It is hard to do the simple things people take for granted, the little things that make you smile.



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2018, 11:05 am

I like going alone myself.

If the idiot who gives me the fries wants to stare, that’s his/her problem.

Most people who give out fries could care less about you. They might be “staring” for some reason which has nothing to do with you.

And if the person does care, tough nuggies.



fifasy
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18 Feb 2018, 12:32 pm

I don't think like that. I get severely anxious. I just can't do it on my own anymore. If I do I get a panic attack and can have a meltdown.



Canary
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18 Feb 2018, 2:10 pm

I like to think that if they look unfriendly, it's probably because they've been working at a hot grill with people shouting at them all day and are annoyed for other reasons.



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2018, 4:28 pm

I wish I could go with you—but I live “across the pond.”



EzraS
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18 Feb 2018, 4:51 pm

I wish I could think of something help. That's a rough situation. I understand it completely.



fifasy
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18 Feb 2018, 5:31 pm

Thanks, I appreciate the sympathy. I am hoping I will find a close friend soon I can go with. Sometimes I think this whole issue is trivial but on the other hand for whatever reason it keeps bugging me so it is important to me, anyhow. I'll just keep my fingers crossed I try something soon and have more luck making social contacts.



Ichinin
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18 Feb 2018, 5:51 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I like going alone myself.

If the idiot who gives me the fries wants to stare, that’s his/her problem.

Most people who give out fries could care less about you. They might be “staring” for some reason which has nothing to do with you.

And if the person does care, tough nuggies.


Exactly, you are just there to eat, not to make friends. Although... (followed below the next quote that is part of this line of thought)

Canary wrote:
I like to think that if they look unfriendly, it's probably because they've been working at a hot grill with people shouting at them all day and are annoyed for other reasons.


...if you treat people with some kindness, especially people in restaurants earning minimum wage, they may come to appreciate your visit and not look like they want to shove that BBQ skewer down your throat.


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thewheel
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18 Feb 2018, 7:20 pm

I can't claim to be great in most extended social situations, but when you know how to go about it these "fake" social interactions can be rewarding.

I've worked in a similar situation to fast food workers so I have a great deal of sympathy for people in that position. As others have mentioned it can be a s**t job and customers can be right a***holes sometimes. Since doing that job I've found it a lot easier to talk in these situations. I've had workers go out of their way to help me, giving me extra portions etc, simply because I talked to them like a human being.

If you fill your head beforehand thinking about how crap their day probably has been and how you can make up for it by being polite to this person you will have less room in your head for thinking negative thoughts about yourself. Your anxious thoughts about the way they are looking at you are really judgements you are making about yourself, so don't allow yourself the time to think them.


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