Youngest age to date with a girl?

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I'm currently 31 years old and I never been in a relationship. I'm interested and attracted to girls 18-21 year age range. I never had the experience what most 18-21 year old get to have when it comes to dating, so therefore I want to date a college age girl between ages 18-21. By the way, I don't look 31, I look in between early to mid twenties. I plan to undergo fat grafting procedure in order to look young. I feel that I'm 20-21 on the inside, so I should be able to date any 19-20 year old girls. The problem is that my real age is 31. But then again I often hear that "my age, is none of people's business", also "do what makes you happy", and happiness is the most important thing in life.

For an adult, the lower limit is 18.

If you prefer 18 year olds then date them, it’s none of other people’s business.

Are you just looking to date or are you primarily looking for a long term relationship? You should be ok with the first if you match up in attractiveness to what you are looking for. The second could be a problem though, as girls of that age will change a great deal in a short time while you probably won't. As a general rule women change more than men anyway, when you add in that you are autistic and she NT (I'm guessing) and a big age gap then everything's a bit weighted on one side, but good luck anyway.

You are free to proposition for dating anyone 18 and older, provided you are not in a position of authority over them.

However, when I was 18-21 I would have considered a 31 year old man too old to be my boyfriend, and would have been put off by a man that old propositioning me. Not all girls 18-21 feel that way but the majority seem to, so if you are going to pursue girls in that age range, don't be surprised if some of them view you as a creep for it. Also, this is a very sought after age range for girls. You face a lot of competition from men of all ages. At 31, you would have better luck with women 25 and up.

Do you mean "just dating" as an not having a serious relationship, such as hang out with one girl for 2 weeks, then another for 3 weeks, next a different girl for 4 weeks? If so, then I think so, since I never had that experience with "messing around with girls" as guys (ages 18-21) typically do. I remember bringing this up about wanting to date to my therapist, about wanting to mess around with girls, in other words not be in a serious relationship. She said that I wasn't a teenager to be doing that. That was back when I was 25 years old, and I've seen and heard that guys in their 20s do that.

But, eventually I'll have to settle down and get into a long term relationship. So therefore then yes, I'm looking for a long term relationship.

I have no problem with you dating teen girls as long as their over 18. Where I come from it's not that uncommon for teen girls to date loser guys in their 30s or 40s even. I dated a 19 year old I met here on this forum when I was about 28; I feel pretty immature for my age in some ways & she was pretty mature for hers & clashing in those ways contributed to the breakup(there were bigger factors but that didn't help.

I am a lot like you--the way the average girl my age approaches relationships turns me off because they are so much less curious about dating and boys. It seems like firstly they are "fishing" for a reason to not want to date from the very beginning, and then the ones who are interested, they are interested in acting like a grown-up couple and/or they have this very practical, non-fanciful idea of a relationship, it's like when I try and bring a sense of "magic" into it they are putting up roadblocks in the way even if they find me attractive. In my teen years I didn't have a shortage of attention from girls, but I wasn't ready to date yet--now that I'm ready, I don't get the same kind of attention anymore.

I think it's more accurate to say this is something a lot of guys would like to do at that age rather than that typically they got to do it. Have a go but don't be too surprised if it's harder than you expected, it depends a lot on how attractive you are to women. She's supposed to be helping you, not judging you. If she thinks a lot of guys who are not teenagers don't want the same thing she's pig ignorant about human nature, which in her job is ridiculous.

At this point you might need to look to someone over 25 but I wouldn't worry about that until you get to that stage.

If you can find a college girl who likes you then go ahead. It's 100% legal. Some people might not be happy about the age gap but in a relationship the only opinions that matter are your opinion of her and her opinion of you. Third parties don't get a say. Their opinions can be ignored.

That's if you can find a young college girl who likes you. In my personal experience many girls that age want guys who are the same age as them. I've been rejected by 18 year olds for being "too old" and in some ways I don't blame them. If you're very lucky you can find the rare girl who doesn't mind a big age gap.

One advantage of dating in that age range is that they're in less of a hurry. I just got out of a relationship with a girl in her late 20s who said she had to get married before she turns 30 and she has to have two children before her mid 30s. This made me feel very rushed. I didn't want to get married that soon and if, if I have had kids I'd want it to be when I'm in my 40s and more financially stable than I am now.

Some (not all) women in their late 20s or early 30s seem to have a biological clock that tells them they need to marry and/or have kids ASAP. If you see those things happening in your 40s rather than your 30s than an 18-21 year old girl's life schedule may align with yours.


Your therapist was wrong. Men can and do mess around at any age.

By late 20s and early 30s a lot of men are becoming family oriented as well. It's interesting because people often think it's only women who start to get nervous about aging and the fact that they haven't settled down to start a family at that point, and it would make sense that they do because there is that biological clock, but in my observation, men get just as nervous about these things. I think it gets less attention because the beauty industry has been slow to recognize the market and exploit it....with the exception of a few companies like Kiehl.

I beg to differ. I'm in my mid 30's, and if anything, my fear of relationships increased lately, not decreased. I'm even at a point where I won't go on a date with women ages 28 thru 36. I'll be friends with them just fine. But one time when a woman my age showed romantic interest, I got scared. (I guess women of any age can push me to get serious far too quickly, but this age group is the most "dangerous".)

I'm currently friends with a girl who's 23, and she a pleasure to be around. She still has that youthful playfulness that I never got to experience at that age. When I hang out with her, I feel like I'm 23 too, rather than a decrepit old fart that I am . I mean, one time, me and her were hanging out in a historic town. We danced salsa right in the middle of an alley, behind a Puerto Rican restaurant where music was playing. For no reason other than "hey, why not?" I was too shy to do it when I was her age, and most women my age will find it too immature. So I can totally understand where the OP is coming from.

I actually feel like it'd be wrong of me to start a relationship with her. I won't be able to deliver the intense seriousness and deep intimacy that most women require from men in a relationship with them. I can give commitment; it's these two things I can't give.

Neither do NT males, they just fake it better. She says something she thinks will sound intensely serious and deeply intimate but imparts absolutely no information, and he nods in the hope this serious conversation that he hasn't been listening to is going to be over soon.

No, it’s not anyone’s business in terms of who tells you what you can/cannot do. It’s nobody’s business if you ask her out just to hang out/get to know her better, whatever.

Sooner or later, that’s going to catch up with you, though. If a LTR is in view, she may have a specific preference and age might be a dealbreaker.

There are some things that can’t be helped. Your dating or sexual experience, for instance—at some point in life you go out with someone for the first time. So never dating before being a dealbreaker is stupid. No experience is just stupid—how do you get experience?

Age is something you CAN choose, though. So...going out for coffee or a beer or something a couple or three times isn’t a big deal. It might have been a dealbreaker before she got to know you. But then she might have a reason in the long run she might have an age preference. You owe it to her to be honest once things start to move along.

But as far as me telling you who you can/can’t date based on age, no, that’s none of my business, and it shouldn’t matter in casual dating situations, either. As a general rule, people do best with people closer in age, but there’s nothing really stopping you.

So, you mean that never having been on a date before shouldn't be a deal breaker? In other words if I where to date my first girl and I tell her that she's my first date, that shouldn't throw her off?

So you mean that my age might be a deal breaker before she gets to know me well?



So this means that I should be honest about my age? How about never giving a straight answer in regards to my real age?

Well huge age gaps weren't an issue more than a hundred years ago when it came to dating. Also that's the case with Eastern European, and South Eastern Asian countries.

Have you ever gone out with a 19/20/21 year old? I would date mature 18 year olds who happen to be in college.

That's the one of the most important things that I like and I'm looking into a girl.
Well, that's my case, I don't want to feel rushed in a relationship. An 18-20 year old girl has more time to think about it, rather then someone in there mid-late 20s.

Do you think that you would get the same attention if you looked like you are 20 years old?