Youngest age to date with a girl?
AngelRho
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I just read this as a statement of fact, that one sex is not in a better position to view things than the other. That both views are valid. I find 'if in doubt, take it literally' works well on here when I think someones being offensive.
If true, then why point out that I’m a heterosexual male AT ALL? Saying I’m “not more qualified” solely on the basis that I’m a cis hetero male is entirely unnecessary. Chronos, if I am to give her the benefit of the doubt, might not have intended any offense. But sadly, that is the world we live in. That statement was deeply offensive, and similar statements very often are PURPOSEFULLY offensive.
I do not claim or pretend to speak for all women. I speak for what I observe in real life. I’m an inquisitive person and find the subject fascinating. I do not believe I’m always right about everything. I don’t feel compelled to prove I’m right about anything.
But I WILL NOT stand idly by while someone uses shaming language on the basis of my gender or orientation. Disagree with me? Fine. We can keep civil counterpoint going all day if I have the time for it. Even if I think you’re wrong, I will still respect that you sincerely believe what you say. Bringing gender into this is going too far. It is inappropriate, and if Chronos is unaware that it is inappropriate, perhaps now is the time for her to become aware of that.
I would never condescend to tell a woman she couldn’t possibly understand men’s issues based purely on the fact she’s a woman. I’m offended by the implication that I can’t relate anything I’ve heard women say JUST BECAUSE I’m a man, hence I’m “not...qualified.” That IS shaming. Supposing I take it literally...hello??? Exactly what other conclusions am I supposed to draw from that “literal” statement???
That not more means not more, she didn't say your view was worth less, she said it wasn't worth more. If you mean she was implying something else, I wouldn't know because I can't pick up that kind of thing .
I don’t hate Chronos and it might have been an honest mistake. Maybe I haven’t read enough posts from her, but it struck me as so unusual to the point I had to read the comment AGAIN and then I wondered if her account had been hacked and someone was trolling me.
As I said, if we merely disagreed, I could respect that. If she meant what you said she meant, and you might be right, then it shouldn’t matter if I’m a hetero male, female, or a bisexual trans hermaphrodite unicorn that poops rainbow frozen yogurt. It shouldn’t even have entered the conversation. But SHE brought gender into the conversation when she insinuated that my views are problematic on the basis of my gender. I don’t mean the content of the discussion, I just mean attacking the validity of my views based on being a straight man. Attacking my views is not an assault on me. Trying to invalidate my views by bringing up my being a straight man IS such an attack.
I’ve never had any beef with Chronos before and if she doesn’t apologize now I won’t hold it against her. Simply not having it happen again will suffice and we shall speak no more of it. So unless it comes up again I have no more to say. Consider it dropped.
I think it's ludicrous that you expect me to apologize for pointing out that your opinions on cis female perspectives and experiences don't supercede actual cis female perspectives and experiences.
I highly recommend that you take in to account positional context.
I didn’t expect any actual apologies and never asked because I’d much rather give you the chance to save face than place any demands on you. I believe I already explained that I’m not trying to nor ever wished to “supersede” anything, as you put it. Yet you continue to insult me on the sole basis that I am male, as though simply by being male my experiences aren’t valid at all: Neither what I’ve observed nor what younger women themselves have outright told me. Now, if you insist on going there, let me remind you that you don’t speak for all women, either.
We’re done here. There is NO REASON WHATSOEVER for you to behave uncivilly towards me. I’ve done nothing to you. Perhaps in a day or so you can calm down and we can try again on friendlier terms, but enough is enough.
my ex-boyfriend was older than me. i was 22 years old and he was 30, he was a bit immature for his age in some aspects but so am I, and i think everyone is... this whole maturity thing is less objective than we often think.
the age gap wasn't a point for us, but i would find a bit creepy if the point of me being younger was the main fact of his attraction to me. i guess you should try to see girls beyond their age, or just minimize it, because it can scare them.
try to break your interest in this age-group girls to understand what really attracts you – is the care-free? less experience? playfulness? so focus on this things. if it's purely the age, i would suggest re-thinking it.
Last edited by ltcvnzl on 22 Feb 2018, 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I just read this as a statement of fact, that one sex is not in a better position to view things than the other. That both views are valid. I find 'if in doubt, take it literally' works well on here when I think someones being offensive.
If true, then why point out that I’m a heterosexual male AT ALL? Saying I’m “not more qualified” solely on the basis that I’m a cis hetero male is entirely unnecessary. Chronos, if I am to give her the benefit of the doubt, might not have intended any offense. But sadly, that is the world we live in. That statement was deeply offensive, and similar statements very often are PURPOSEFULLY offensive.
I do not claim or pretend to speak for all women. I speak for what I observe in real life. I’m an inquisitive person and find the subject fascinating. I do not believe I’m always right about everything. I don’t feel compelled to prove I’m right about anything.
But I WILL NOT stand idly by while someone uses shaming language on the basis of my gender or orientation. Disagree with me? Fine. We can keep civil counterpoint going all day if I have the time for it. Even if I think you’re wrong, I will still respect that you sincerely believe what you say. Bringing gender into this is going too far. It is inappropriate, and if Chronos is unaware that it is inappropriate, perhaps now is the time for her to become aware of that.
I would never condescend to tell a woman she couldn’t possibly understand men’s issues based purely on the fact she’s a woman. I’m offended by the implication that I can’t relate anything I’ve heard women say JUST BECAUSE I’m a man, hence I’m “not...qualified.” That IS shaming. Supposing I take it literally...hello??? Exactly what other conclusions am I supposed to draw from that “literal” statement???
That not more means not more, she didn't say your view was worth less, she said it wasn't worth more. If you mean she was implying something else, I wouldn't know because I can't pick up that kind of thing .
I don’t hate Chronos and it might have been an honest mistake. Maybe I haven’t read enough posts from her, but it struck me as so unusual to the point I had to read the comment AGAIN and then I wondered if her account had been hacked and someone was trolling me.
As I said, if we merely disagreed, I could respect that. If she meant what you said she meant, and you might be right, then it shouldn’t matter if I’m a hetero male, female, or a bisexual trans hermaphrodite unicorn that poops rainbow frozen yogurt. It shouldn’t even have entered the conversation. But SHE brought gender into the conversation when she insinuated that my views are problematic on the basis of my gender. I don’t mean the content of the discussion, I just mean attacking the validity of my views based on being a straight man. Attacking my views is not an assault on me. Trying to invalidate my views by bringing up my being a straight man IS such an attack.
I’ve never had any beef with Chronos before and if she doesn’t apologize now I won’t hold it against her. Simply not having it happen again will suffice and we shall speak no more of it. So unless it comes up again I have no more to say. Consider it dropped.
I think it's ludicrous that you expect me to apologize for pointing out that your opinions on cis female perspectives and experiences don't supercede actual cis female perspectives and experiences.
I highly recommend that you take in to account positional context.
I didn’t expect any actual apologies and never asked because I’d much rather give you the chance to save face than place any demands on you. I believe I already explained that I’m not trying to nor ever wished to “supersede” anything, as you put it. Yet you continue to insult me on the sole basis that I am male, as though simply by being male my experiences aren’t valid at all: Neither what I’ve observed nor what younger women themselves have outright told me. Now, if you insist on going there, let me remind you that you don’t speak for all women, either.
We’re done here. There is NO REASON WHATSOEVER for you to behave uncivilly towards me. I’ve done nothing to you. Perhaps in a day or so you can calm down and we can try again on friendlier terms, but enough is enough.
If you find the mentioning that you are male in the context of a conversation about male and female perspectives insulting, then I would be at a loss as to how to discuss the subject in ernest with you.
It's true I don't speak for all women. But I can speak for at least one, and that is more than someone who is not a woman can speak for.
In any case, I am not uncalm. If there is someone in this conversation who has lost their composure it would have to be you, and if not, then I don't see why anyone would need a cool down period.
I'm 18 years older than my wife, and we've been together 12 years and have two kids. When I was much younger (28), I dated a woman 14 years my senior. Do what works for you.
Wow so you were 42 and she was 24? Impressive! I can only hope to have that much appeal when I'm 42.
Yeah, she's smart and beautiful too. No idea what she was thinking.
How did you do it? Were you charming? Were you middle class? Did you impress her with your wealth or your good looks? What did you do?
I gave her my email address and she wrote to me.
I was doing just ok financially, not rich at all. I was still relatively good-looking then. But I think it was actually my eccentricity and encyclopedic knowledge of certain subjects that attracted her. (She was an astrophysics student.)
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Chronos has sound logic, what are you going on about exactly? How was she being uncivil? If one is the be a true gentleman you should have just conceded to the debate because you lost, not accuse her of something that is unfounded.
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RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
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Location: Adelaide, Australia
In my case it's not the care-free, it's not less experience and it's not playfulness. It's looks.
I like young, attractive looking women, even if they're not care-free and playful.
I know there are young women who are serious and I've certainly met older women who are playful and young at heart.
But since I prefer youthful looks, that can't easily be separated from their actual age.
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I like young, attractive looking women, even if they're not care-free and playful.
I know there are young women who are serious and I've certainly met older women who are playful and young at heart.
But since I prefer youthful looks, that can't easily be separated from their actual age.
I'm the opposite from you: I'm more interested in carefree playfulness than youthful looks. Although the looks do help . For example, I like women who are cool with getting Slurpees from 7-11, sneaking vodka into them, then sipping on them while sitting on playground swings. I've met a 20-something woman who was cool with it, and me and her are still friends now. I have yet to meet a 30-something woman who feels the same way. (I'm in my mid 30's.)
nick007
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I dunno...I mean, if that’s what a woman feels she needs or wants in a life partner, I see nothing intrinsically wrong with that.
There are risks and benefits for any pairing you can imagine. Older/younger pairs at extremes don’t offend me. It’s the motivation behind it. If a man is only attracted to 18-21 year olds, what happens if a LTR develops and she ages out? Trade her out for a new model? That’s unfair to her because you refuse to see her as anything more than her age. But if you don’t value relationships and she understands FWB/NSA is as far as it goes, then you’ve got a winner. My personal preference is towards longer commitments, so I could never do that. But it might work out well for someone else.
Then you have the kink/fetish aspect of only dating (“barely legal”) teens. I would say that’s a problem because the same justification makes pedophilia ok. The difference is only that one will land you in prison while the other will not. It might not constitute an actual psychological problem, but then it might. It’s more a philosophical problem to work out—SHOULD one only date within a certain age range, and why? Depending on your goals for a relationship, you might have safer alternatives.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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What?
It's relevant to the comment by AngelRho made just before it. It was such a long load of quotes inside quotes that I didn't bother quoting it all. You can go back and read it (it's in the bit at the bottom) but I wouldn't bother, it's not as interesting as it sounds.
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RetroGamer87
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Location: Adelaide, Australia
I like young, attractive looking women, even if they're not care-free and playful.
I know there are young women who are serious and I've certainly met older women who are playful and young at heart.
But since I prefer youthful looks, that can't easily be separated from their actual age.
I'm the opposite from you: I'm more interested in carefree playfulness than youthful looks. Although the looks do help . For example, I like women who are cool with getting Slurpees from 7-11, sneaking vodka into them, then sipping on them while sitting on playground swings. I've met a 20-something woman who was cool with it, and me and her are still friends now. I have yet to meet a 30-something woman who feels the same way. (I'm in my mid 30's.)
Yes we are opposites. It takes all kinds of people. I don't mind playful girls but I like serious girls. I like girls who have a plan for their lives and are devoted to it. Like those serious girls because I can have a stable life with them. I don't mind playful girls but I hate immature girls who's lifeplan consists of smoking pot and watching Netflix. I want a girl with more ambition than that.
Fortunately, women aged 18 - 21 are not all lacking ambition and some girls that age are very serious. I've met them. Some can even be playful as well as serious.
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The days are long, but the years are short
I haven't read all 6 pages, so hopefully someone has said this already.
Date any legal (18 and over) person who wants to date you but do NOT lie or mislead about your age.
I get the impression you prefer to withhold that information (you plan to intentionally make yourself look younger), but in my opinion doing so long term is morally wrong, and the longer you wait to tell the truth once a real relationship starts the more hot water you will be in with the woman you are seeing. You can maybe get away with not bringing it up for the first few dates, but not after that, you MUST disclose. And if she asks before you are ready MUST answer honestly. I also think you have to be honest before getting intimate.
Do not lie to or mislead someone you want a relationship with. Ever. Since you've never had a serious relationship that is the most important thing for you to understand going in. You cannot have a decent relationship by being fake. All you can achieve when you lie is a trail of women who will rightfully think you are the biggest manipulator and douche they have ever met.
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nick007
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
Date any legal (18 and over) person who wants to date you but do NOT lie or mislead about your age.
I get the impression you prefer to withhold that information (you plan to intentionally make yourself look younger), but in my opinion doing so long term is morally wrong, and the longer you wait to tell the truth once a real relationship starts the more hot water you will be in with the woman you are seeing. You can maybe get away with not bringing it up for the first few dates, but not after that, you MUST disclose. And if she asks before you are ready MUST answer honestly. I also think you have to be honest before getting intimate.
Do not lie to or mislead someone you want a relationship with. Ever. Since you've never had a serious relationship that is the most important thing for you to understand going in. You cannot have a decent relationship by being fake. All you can achieve when you lie is a trail of women who will rightfully think you are the biggest manipulator and douche they have ever met.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Date any legal (18 and over) person who wants to date you but do NOT lie or mislead about your age.
I get the impression you prefer to withhold that information (you plan to intentionally make yourself look younger), but in my opinion doing so long term is morally wrong, and the longer you wait to tell the truth once a real relationship starts the more hot water you will be in with the woman you are seeing. You can maybe get away with not bringing it up for the first few dates, but not after that, you MUST disclose. And if she asks before you are ready MUST answer honestly. I also think you have to be honest before getting intimate.
Do not lie to or mislead someone you want a relationship with. Ever. Since you've never had a serious relationship that is the most important thing for you to understand going in. You cannot have a decent relationship by being fake. All you can achieve when you lie is a trail of women who will rightfully think you are the biggest manipulator and douche they have ever met.
People didn't have hang ups in regards to huge age gaps when it came to dating more than a hundred years ago. Today you would have to go to like Eastern Europe where you can find 18-21 year old blondes who date guys 10-15 or even 20 years older than themselves.
I feel that in terms where I stand in life I relate to most 20-21 year olds rather than people in their early 30s who have already settled financially, career wise, and more.
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