Youngest age to date with a girl?

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Anonymoussun02
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20 Feb 2018, 4:30 pm

biostructure wrote:
I am a lot like you--the way the average girl my age approaches relationships turns me off because they are so much less curious about dating and boys. It seems like firstly they are "fishing" for a reason to not want to date from the very beginning, and then the ones who are interested, they are interested in acting like a grown-up couple and/or they have this very practical, non-fanciful idea of a relationship, it's like when I try and bring a sense of "magic" into it they are putting up roadblocks in the way even if they find me attractive. In my teen years I didn't have a shortage of attention from girls, but I wasn't ready to date yet--now that I'm ready, I don't get the same kind of attention anymore.
Do you think that you would get the same attention if you looked like you are 20 years old?



Anonymoussun02
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20 Feb 2018, 4:35 pm

nick007 wrote:
I have no problem with you dating teen girls as long as their over 18. Where I come from it's not that uncommon for teen girls to date loser guys in their 30s or 40s even. I dated a 19 year old I met here on this forum when I was about 28; I feel pretty immature for my age in some ways & she was pretty mature for hers & clashing in those ways contributed to the breakup(there were bigger factors but that didn't help.

Why guys in their 30s and 40s would be considered losers? It's one of my biggest pet peeve when people consider someone a guy a loser for dating younger girls, when in fact he can date whoever he wants. For me I'm only interested dating girls 18-21, or even 22 years old. I often hear that the reason they're called a loser is because they can't date someone their own age, when in fact I could date someone my age, but I'm not interested in.



Loner269
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20 Feb 2018, 4:48 pm

I really don't know what the title has to do with your original post but if you want to pursue younger girls it's fine, just know that they might not find you as attractive as the younger guys unless you have the wallet to make up for it. Also, I'm curious how you have managed to get to 31 without a single girl, have you ever even dated or kissed anyone or had sex?



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20 Feb 2018, 4:51 pm

Now that I'm 30 I'm incresaingly unattracted to girls my own age. I'd rather go out with a 21 or 22 year old. It's not that I think all girls that age are more playful (I knew a 21 year old girl who was very serious), it's not that I think all 22 year old girls have the same type of personality (that would be generalising), it comes down to looks.

Call me shallow if you will but I don't like the way girls my age look. They look too old and worldweary. I don't like the way I look at my age either. I look too old and worldweary as well. I'd rather go out with a pretty 22 year old than an aged and worldweary 30 year old.

The trouble is, 22 year old girls think I'm too old for them and 30 year old girls think I'm the right age for them so I'm stuck dating girls my own age :|


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20 Feb 2018, 5:05 pm

biostructure wrote:
I am a lot like you--the way the average girl my age approaches relationships turns me off because they are so much less curious about dating and boys. It seems like firstly they are "fishing" for a reason to not want to date from the very beginning, and then the ones who are interested, they are interested in acting like a grown-up couple and/or they have this very practical, non-fanciful idea of a relationship, it's like when I try and bring a sense of "magic" into it they are putting up roadblocks in the way even if they find me attractive. In my teen years I didn't have a shortage of attention from girls, but I wasn't ready to date yet--now that I'm ready, I don't get the same kind of attention anymore.

I'm the same way. I find women my age (mid 30's) very blah and overly serious, at least when it comes to romance and relationships. They're cool as platonic friends, but that's only because I'm not the one they want to lock down. It seems like they're focused on locking down a man, getting pregnant, and playing house. Any "fun" is limited to pretentious dinner parties with other couples, or sitting at home and talking about your feelings. I really like 20-something women; they still haven't lost that youthful sense of wonder, even though I'm starting to lose mine.

I already said earlier that I refuse to even go on a date with women ages 28 thru 36. Because one date will lead to two, two dates will lead to commitment, and commitment will lead to tedious, boring drudgery for years to come.

Unlike you, when I was in my teens, girls wouldn't touch me with a 100-foot pole. Heck, they wouldn't even hug me; forget the sex! While today, I have no shortage of hugs from women. At the same time, I lost all interest in sex, to the point of being disgusted even by the idea of having sex. Heck, even French kissing, I can enjoy it only when really drunk.



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20 Feb 2018, 5:21 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Now that I'm 30 I'm incresaingly unattracted to girls my own age. I'd rather go out with a 21 or 22 year old. It's not that I think all girls that age are more playful (I knew a 21 year old girl who was very serious), it's not that I think all 22 year old girls have the same type of personality (that would be generalising), it comes down to looks.

Call me shallow if you will but I don't like the way girls my age look. They look too old and worldweary. I don't like the way I look at my age either. I look too old and worldweary as well. I'd rather go out with a pretty 22 year old than an aged and worldweary 30 year old.

I know a handful of women in early 30's that are still attractive and very fun. But the strange thing is, the main reason I like their company as much as I do, is that they're not a threat to my freedom and lifestyle in general. They treat me as a respected equal, but they wouldn't want a relationship with me or have sex with me in a million years. (Well, maybe if it kept the world from ending, they'd take one for the team.)

I actually do like the way I look today. I was hideously, disgustingly ugly until well into my 20's. Heck, one time when I was 19 or 20, a waitress once described me to her colleague: "Oh my god. His Eyes! Ew!! !" By 27, I started to age into my looks and attract women more easily. And by 29, women on a cruise were approaching me and flirting with me. Sadly, it's only a matter of time before I once again turn ugly, and I'll be a dirty old man to boot :(.



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20 Feb 2018, 5:44 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
They treat me as a respected equal, but they wouldn't want a relationship with me or have sex with me in a million years. (Well, maybe if it kept the world from ending, they'd take one for the team.)



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SabbraCadabra
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20 Feb 2018, 6:45 pm

I've dated a few girls who were close to my age, but I've always felt far too immature to date anyone older than me.

Personally, for me, I feel like ten years younger is pushing it. The age gap just starts getting a little weird.


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Anonymoussun02
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20 Feb 2018, 7:13 pm

Loner269 wrote:
I'm curious how you have managed to get to 31 without a single girl, have you ever even dated or kissed anyone or had sex?

Well way back in kindergarten a girl kissed me. When I was in 8th grade a girl hugged me and that same girl hugged me during my high school senior year. Also, when I went to my 10 year high school reunion this gal hugged me before I left.

So right after my high school graduation, I went to this community college not knowing exactly what I really wanted to major in, so as the years went by I focused on other things, and had a lot going on during late 2013 till late 2015 with life.

The only closest thing that I've flirted with a girl was at the strip club, I had a girl do a lap dance for me and she kissed me at the end. But, of course those types of girls are there for the money. So therefore I've never had sex, and I would like to have an active sex life with a nice, caring, sweet, attractive girl. This, by the way, reminds me when I was working at Kroger as a bagger/courtesy clerk late at night, two years ago, I had this customer ask me where he could find condoms. The customer had an accent was from Asia, so therefore he couldn't read the instructions, of each and every box of condoms and other things. I was embarrassed having to explain to him what they were for, and he said "how old are you", I said, "20" of course I lied my age. Then he went on to say "gee how old are you? 20 and you don't know much about sex.". That moment it really hit me, that I was a virgin at 29 years old.

So therefore, I've been trying to improve myself based on my speech(seeing a speech therapist), appearance(losing 44 pounds), for the past year. As of now I only have to focus on finishing my Bachelors degree in GIS, that way I'll make enough money to qualify for health insurance, go into the hCG diet again to lose an additional 20 pounds, and eventually see the speech therapist again. Also, I plan to go to group therapy to improve my social skills, have a social life, most importantly date. I do plan to undergo fat grafting procedure in order to look younger, and see a dermatologist to fix my acne scars. In other words, I'll work on improving my self esteem, confidence, social skills, my appearance, self image, self worth etc.



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20 Feb 2018, 8:36 pm

Anonymoussun02 wrote:
I do plan to undergo fat grafting procedure in order to look younger

How does that work? Will it work for me?


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Anonymoussun02
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20 Feb 2018, 9:31 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Anonymoussun02 wrote:
I do plan to undergo fat grafting procedure in order to look younger

How does that work? Will it work for me?

This is how it works, the plastic surgeon injects fat from your fat abdominal area, to your face giving it a more youthful look. In other words adding the baby fat back that you used to have, except it's the fat from the abdominal area. It will work for you. I've seen a video of this plastic surgeon explaining that we start as a pea, and with time become like a raisin.



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20 Feb 2018, 9:50 pm

Anonymoussun02 wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
There are some things that can’t be helped. Your dating or sexual experience, for instance—at some point in life you go out with someone for the first time. So never dating before being a dealbreaker is stupid. No experience is just stupid—how do you get experience?

So, you mean that never having been on a date before shouldn't be a deal breaker? In other words if I where to date my first girl and I tell her that she's my first date, that shouldn't throw her off?

Quote:
Age is something you CAN choose, though. So...going out for coffee or a beer or something a couple or three times isn’t a big deal. It might have been a dealbreaker before she got to know you. But then she might have a reason in the long run she might have an age preference.
So you mean that my age might be a deal breaker before she gets to know me well?


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You owe it to her to be honest once things start to move along.

So this means that I should be honest about my age? How about never giving a straight answer in regards to my real age?

First date: There’s always a first. If dating experience is a prereq, then you have a case of mutual exclusion. The idea that one must have experience to do anything is stupid and discouraging. All you need to know to go out with a girl is you pick up the girl, engage her in an activity you both enjoy (or at least want to try). That’s it. Even if you get serious, it doesn’t matter because she IS your experience. You aren’t lying in that case. But most likely your relationship won’t last, so you take what you learned and apply to the next and the next and to the...

It’s unfair, it’s mutually exclusive, and it’s stupid. So WHY would I disclose that to a woman?

Age: POSSIBLY a dealbreaker. That goes along with the experience thing. A girl should like you for YOU, not for your age. Disclosure is about honesty. She might NOT want to be with someone your age for her own reasons, but it should be for an actual REASON, not because of some irrational preconception of age. I want to go to my grandkids’ weddings with my spouse beside me. If you’re wormfood before our kids graduate hs, that defeats the purpose. And you’re 20 years older than me, sooooo... I mean, that’s not really what you want to hear from a girl. But better that than “Eeeeeeeeew!! ! You’re so ooooooooold!” The right person can change a mind and challenge dealbreakers.

Long-term, though, it becomes an honesty thing. If someone means that much to you, they deserve to know things like that. Lying or omitting information that might be important to someone doesn’t bode well for how you perceive or value them. It also shows a lack of trust in that other person. So you’re in a LTR with someone you don’t trust—WHY, exactly?

Depending on what you’re going for in a relationship, it might not matter. A casual just-friends thing is nothing. A serious relationship NOT necessarily headed for marriage—again, probably doesn’t matter. Looking for marriage/children? EVERYTHING matters.

I tend to plan all the way to the end, so I’m ALWAYS marriage-minded. If it isn’t good enough for a marriage relationship, it’s not good enough for “just friends.” Use your own best judgment. Just remember that the other person is an actual PERSON.



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20 Feb 2018, 10:14 pm

If she says I'm too old for her I just need to say "Yes I'm 10 years older than you but I'm inexperienced and I'm really immature for my age" :lol:


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20 Feb 2018, 10:18 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
If she says I'm too old for her I just need to say "Yes I'm 10 years older than you but I'm inexperienced and I'm really immature for my age" :lol:


I've never heard a girl or woman say "Oh you're immature! That's great!".



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20 Feb 2018, 10:31 pm

A word of advice to those of you men who wish to date girls and women between 18 and 21. Men are genetically programmed to find this age group physically attractive, and you don't need to provide any justification for your tastes. In fact, personally, I think it's best not to. No one needs to know your reasons, and stating them often makes you less attractive.



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20 Feb 2018, 10:35 pm

My mind was programmed differently. When I was 16, I really got into the "Summer of '42" because there was an older woman in it who dug a kid of about that age.

I liked women in my own age group when I was 18-21---but I liked older women better.

I'm 57. I can still find a woman 10 years older attractive. I can also find a woman 20 years or more younger than I am attractive.

I'm actually not as keen on college-age girls as I am keen on older women.