Exhausting.
Because it takes so much effort to maintain a "normal" facade, especially in times of stress.
Because it takes so much effort to keep all the thoughts, priorities, memories, plans and everything else in my mind in some kind of order, even for a very short time.
Because it takes so much effort to stay focused on things that don't interest me at all, but in which I'm expected to be mentally invested.
Because it takes so much effort to explain, even to those closest to me, why some things are just so difficult when they seem so easy to others.
Because I'm now in my fifties and, even with the benefit of years of practice, I no longer have the energy or patience to keep trying to meet NT expectations.
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"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."