The abuse still bothers me

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In a previous post, I detailed how my dad used to, I feel, abuse me. He was very religious and controlling. Very rigid. He would hit me on numerous occasions. He would ground me and take away things that I paid for with my own money. He felt he had the right to just hit me, or tell me what to do, or how to think.

Every single day I actively resent my dad. It consumes my thoughts almost entirely. Never has he apologized for hitting me, for grounding me, or for telling me what to do. Yet, it was MY life he was ruining. I feel every day like he stole from me, he stole time from MY life, by making me attend church. He hit me for my thoughts, and my beliefs. He would spy on MY online chats. He did not understand that it was MY life to live, NOT his and he had ZERO right to medal in it. There is not a single day that goes by where I do not wish him dead. I can't think of any amount of money or property that could possibly make up for how I was treated. Seeing him die would not be enough. Even me making him suffer would not satisfy my anger toward him. He stole years of my life that I'll never get back.

Is there any way to overcome this? How do the rest of you feel about my reaction to the way I was treated? You might have to go back a bit in the history to see my first post, I really don't feel like posting it all over again.

From your previouse post Id say youve gone through quite an ordeal. You seem to be handling it well though. Maybe talking with a therapist would help you get some hard feelings out. Dont keep it bottled up. You have every right to have anger towards your father. What he did was wrong. Im sorry you had to go through that abuse.

My father physically abused me, too. And not just my father, either. Abuse also came from my grandmother, my mother (psychological), neighbors (sexual), and bullies (physical). Subsequently, I developed PTSD which, by the way, I didn't realize I had.

As far as my father was concerned, I moved away from him when I was 12 but, yeah, I still harbored negative feelings about him. This lasted for years. The interesting thing is, as I aged, I came to learn about his life and forgave him. The forgiving part was important otherwise I'd probably keep on with some kind of self destructive path if I didn't. He no longer "rents space in my head" as they say; I'm totally free of his psychological trappings. No therapist helped me, just time. Time the healer, time the avenger.