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banana247
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22 Feb 2018, 12:39 am

This is related to my "texting is killing us" post from a few days ago.

Just wanted to hear opinions on "ghosting" or being "ghosted" in a platonic sense. Not so much in the "i'm cutting you off forever" sense, but mostly where the person just ignores texts, calls, personal snapchat messages, etc and doesn't consider this a detriment to the relationship at all.

I have a lifelong friend (like a sister) who pretty much ignores everything all the time on the basis that she is "busy". I also have friends who start to connect more, casually and frequently texting me or sending me memes, and then suddenly stop sending me anything or replying to anything I send. They may or may not just pop back in at some point.

It makes me kind of freak out and think maybe i've done something wrong. But in the world of modern texting and social media, maybe this kind of "ghosting" really is widely accepted. Maybe it's her way of needing "space" or just being busy. I am the clingy one in this culture for thinking this is rude or hurtful? Is it just my social insecurity?



hale_bopp
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22 Feb 2018, 1:59 pm

You haven’t done anything wrong. People just generally can’t be bothered with digital media, as there is no repercussions of not bothering. A phone call in the old days you had to talk, now it’s just “I’ll do it later” or “meh” and people don’t.

It’s really annoying but it’s what the world has become since the introduction of digital media.

The best approach is “don’t take it personally”, though I can talk, I get upset all the time about it.

If someone really doesn’t like you, they’ll block you. Otherwise it’s very, very unlikely that it’s personal.



Summer_Twilight
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22 Feb 2018, 5:43 pm

You could call this girl up and leave her a voice message asking if there is anything you did that made her upset or is bothering her? I would ask her that three times but do so every few weeks if she ignores you. After the 4th one, let her know that you feel confused by why she is ignoring you.



alpacka
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23 Feb 2018, 9:42 am

I can definitley relate to this post. I also have a friend that ghosting alot and the sad answer I think it is are that they doing it because they can. They are so sure that you forgive these lazy responders so they just keep on doing it. Texting, email and social media allow people to ghost and postpone just everything thats not 100% feel right for them in that moment.


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