my brain against me?

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I always feel like my brain is separate from 'me'. As in, the inability to remember certain things, acting on ques, conflictions of interest - i keep thinking this is my brain doing this to me. And yet, my brain IS me. But even though i know it, i'm struggling to understand it?

I often feel like a completely separate entity to my actual brain.

Is that weird?

Yep. It can get irritating at times.

It causes you to do things which can be opposed to what your intentions were.

I also feel like my brain is not only separate from me. It's kind of like when Homer Simpson's brain talks to him, but it usually tries to explain simple things or talk sense into him. My brain seems to only want to make me as unhappy as possible.

For example, when I'm trying to sleep at night:

My brain: You're not going to sleep, are you?
Me: Yes I am. Now please be quiet.
My brain: But think of all the ways you could be dead before morning.
Me:

Or when I'm, eating:
My brain: You are not eating that.
Me: Yes, I am. Now please be quiet.
My brain: As if you weren't fat enough as it is.
Me: I really don't care.
My brain: You'll care all right, when you have a heart attack or get diabetes.
Me:

I don't think it's weird at all.

You're learning from experience that You are the conscious observer of your thoughts, brain, and body functions.

A lot of authors write about this whole realm. Authors like Eckhart Tolle who teaches how to be present & mindful.

Then there's the psychiatric concept of "intrusive thoughts," that comes to mind.. because this is when I was very hyper aware of this in my own life. During a time when I suffered the worst depression of my life, I had nearly constant negative or suicidal thoughts running through my mind.. yet, at the same time, I was able to consciously observe them & think "these thoughts are in my head, they are my thoughts - kinda - buuuut.. they are not my thoughts. I am not consciously decisively thinking them, nor do I need to believe them for that matter," - things like that.

That was definitely a time when I could relate to your "is my brain doing this to me," moment. For myself, I was fortunate enough to be able to sort of differentiate between Me and what my brain was doing.. and also to have the thought that I didn't always think like that and that therefore something must be causing it, and if something was causing it, it could be undone/reversed as with anything else with medicine & biochemistry etc. Long story short, eventually I learned that I was very sensitive to a particular family of food acids and that the antidote was to supplement magnesium & sulphur via epsom salts on my skin in order to absorb the minerals that then allowed my body to urinate out the excess food acids that were tripping out my brain and causing the depression/anxiety etc.

Being aware that You are not just your thoughts and brain functions, but rather the conscious observer of them, can be incredibly valuable - and in my case, both life saving & life changing.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Aspies are natural observers of everything, including themselves and because we're obsessive, if we think about things, we do it ALOT. This can be a definite plus in some ways. We are very good at things we are interested in. However, this means we are also very good at thinking negatively. I have had the same feeling of being two people, my mind and my critical self, especially in my younger years. The only thing to do for me seems to be have a mantra of positivity when I get too critical of myself. Tell your critical self to shut up and think of something you're good at.