I was told "You see, but you don't look"

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Yokokurama
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25 Feb 2018, 12:34 am

This is a recurring issue with me. I'm starting to feel like a brain-dead imbecile on a daily basis because of how much common sense I lack. I have a high IQ and was always in honors/advanced classes as well as early college, hell, I won awards in elementary school for reading over 100 books per year, so I know I'm not stupid. Yet, everyday life and interactions prove that I am not as intelligent as I think I am.

My boyfriend told me that I "see" things, but don't really "look" at them, and that I am always doing this and missing things. Not just in interactions, as I can sometimes dig too deep and misinterpret/be too analytical, but in everyday tasks it seems like I am always missing some important detail or fact that seems blatantly obvious. I've always been hyperlexic, so I can read at an incredibly high speed and usually comprehend it quite well. Everyone always picks up on things I miss though, and I feel like my brain is always going too fast. When I am looking for something I have lost I overlook it when it is right in front of me, this happens almost every single day. When I am at work, something like bringing out a highchair for a couple with a baby should be obvious, but I forget.


At least three times today, I forgot to bring silverware to tables at work. Sometimes (though not super often) I will completely mess up my sentence and not be able to get the words out/say something completely wrong. I feel like I am always missing something that seems super obvious to other people. Hell, even when I'm watching TV, things seem to slip right past me and it's becoming increasingly frustrating. I frequently forget very important things that I need to do, like making a stop at the grocery store.

Not being able to remember algebraic processes and manipulations or recall them at all made me stop being top of my class in high school cause I could barely pass my math classes. Even with two tutors and various professor meetings in my first semester of college last year, I was incredibly lucky to make a B minus in calculus because I was almost failing. I failed my final exam, because these obvious steps in the problem that were easy to everyone else were not easy to me.

My family told me I was retarted once, and them telling me that is sticking with me now more than ever... cause I am such a failure and can't do anything right.



kraftiekortie
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25 Feb 2018, 2:46 am

This sort of thing happen to me, too. Yet I was never as accomplished as you. We all have good points, and faults, too,

What sort of work do you do?



Yokokurama
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25 Feb 2018, 7:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
This sort of thing happen to me, too. Yet I was never as accomplished as you. We all have good points, and faults, too,

What sort of work do you do?


I work at a restaraunt, but I'm trying to find someplace else so that I can quit. I'm off from college till the fall cause I took a break, and I need money in the meantime.



kraftiekortie
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25 Feb 2018, 8:58 am

How about Costco or some place like that?

Or maybe a dollar store?

Usually less pressure than a restaurant.

I would have suggested something better—but you’re young, and headed for college in a few months.



fluffysaurus
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25 Feb 2018, 9:01 am

I struggled with waitressing due to not being able to predict others needs enough and inability to multitask. You might find it easier on a busy till. Interaction is far more predictable, you just focus on the person you are serving. The busier the till the less you are expected to notice and adapt to things going on around you. Much as I would like a quieter and lest rushed environment, I have found in those coworkers and bosses expect me to fill those gaps with the things that they would do and notice. I always do the wrong thing :( . I was a barmaid in pubs and nightclubs for a long time and this was a surprisingly good fit for me as I was appreciated for being honest, reliable, and hard working, the ability to read the minds of others was not necessary :D

I'm usually told I look but don't see, but I suppose they mean the same thing. I've given up on trying to work out this amasing third eye that that normal people have, they don't seem to use it for anything but gauging each others weaknesses rather than helping each other.



fluffysaurus
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25 Feb 2018, 9:09 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
How about Costco or some place like that?

Or maybe a dollar store?

Usually less pressure than a restaurant.

I would have suggested something better—but you’re young, and headed for college in a few months.

The lower the cost of what you're selling and the more working class the customers the easier they are to serve and the more forgiving they are of any mistakes. My worst customers were when I worked in a jewelers and my best were drunks. I've just started at a cheep shop and they are nicer than at previous classier places where some people are lovely and some could do with lessons in manners :twisted: .



Yokokurama
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25 Feb 2018, 9:54 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
How about Costco or some place like that?

Or maybe a dollar store?

Usually less pressure than a restaurant.

I would have suggested something better—but you’re young, and headed for college in a few months.

The lower the cost of what you're selling and the more working class the customers the easier they are to serve and the more forgiving they are of any mistakes. My worst customers were when I worked in a jewelers and my best were drunks. I've just started at a cheep shop and they are nicer than at previous classier places where some people are lovely and some could do with lessons in manners :twisted: .


I've found that working in family oriented places are bad for the most part, more middle aged women who are notorious for, "Can I speak to the manager?" And bossy/picky customers. We will have a completely full restaraunt with a 40 party wait list and someone will still complain about not getting a window seat. Today pretty much confirmed that I can't handle it. But I agree with you that serving would be much more manageable, it's what I applied for but was only offered a host position because of my "poor eye contact" lol.