I can't concentrate

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I was fine as a child, I didn't have concentration problems, I had that laserlike focus that is common in aspies but now I struggle to do anything. I can't even read a book, I just read words without taking in their meanings, I try really hard to concentrate but nothing changes, I'm still just reading words with no effect. Same thing happens when reading threads on here, I read someone's post then realise I have no idea what they just said. I didn't used to be stupid but seem to have become so in the last few years. It's like my brain has been replaced with cotton wool. Also, if you ask something like "what's the happiest memory you have?" that involves sifting through tons of information and picking something out I won't be able to come up with an answer. I'll think I'm thinking about it but then I realise I'm just staring blankly at a wall. Like when a computer says it's loading but really it's frozen and it isn't doing anything. This happens in my own home when I'm alone too so it isn't social anxiety or time pressure to give an answer.

So sometimes I try to concentrate and nothing happens like the above and sometimes I try to concentrate and get distracted by a thought process or a daydream. I seem to be addicted to daydreaming/thinking. If you've heard of Maladaptive Daydreaming, that's what I have. But that doesn't explain the mind going blank thing.

One or the other happens most of the time but not all of the time, with no reason that I can see. I am horrendously unproductive, I can go the whole day doing absolutely nothing (unless you count daydreaming or thinking as doing something).

Is this something to do with autism? I didn't have ADD as a kid and you can't develop it so presumably it can't be that. Do I have brain damage I don't know about? I'm so confused. Anybody else have this?

You're not alone, I seem to spend a great deal of time in a similar state.

NB: I scattered a few links throughout the post that you may (or may not) find useful. But note that there's a little caveat near the end of the post that you might want to read before clicking!

The reading thing frustrates the hell out of me sometimes - some part of me knows that I have been scanning the words and turning the pages, but I don't recall what I read, and I don't even recall there being something else on my mind. I often find the same thing when I have to go out and about - my legs just go into "autopilot", and I have no memory whatever of what route I walked or whether I heard the birds singing. I spend so much time gazing out of the window thinking "it's lovely out there, go for a nice walk", and then if I finally do, I can barely remember where I went.

"Happiest memory"? Yes, that's a tricky one! My autobiographical memory often seems to be very "distant"; as if my memories could just as easily be a bunch of stories that I read in a book. Picking one out seems impossible because there are barely any feelings attached to the memories; they're just a long list of facts about me. Maybe I was "on autopilot" when the memories got recorded.

There are some elements of it that I think I understand a little better now, largely down to the generosity of people on sites like this one. I know from my autism assessment that I am very Alexithymic (don't recognise my own emotions.) I know that when I get stressed out, that parts of my brain shut down as protection against a melt down, making me very dissociated. I know that I spent years under-estimating how hard "passing" is, and that doing too much of it can bring these things on, along with anxiety and depression. I recognise some of the traits which seem to be what people are calling executive function impairments (hinted at but never explained at my assessment.)

But then I think, why am I not getting off my backside this very moment? Executive function? Depression? Partial shut-down? Dysthmia? Alexithymia hiding some other thing from my conscious mind? When I went for my diagnosis, it was to try and finally get some answers so that I could understand all of this. Now I seem to have too many answers (hence, take it easy on the hyperlinks!)

I have been lucky enough to have seen a counsellor who specialised in helping autistic people, and I do recommend doing that if you possibly can. I wasn't really ready for it at the time; it was too close to my diagnosis, and I'd like to do it again. It was noticeably more effective than any of my several spells of counselling with "generic" CBT counsellors.

I am exactly the same. I can barely concentrate reading a book anymore and I love reading.

When I got my diagnosis the psychologist said I have many ADD-traits but that aspergers and ADD are so similiar that they couldn't give me an ADD-diagnosis. Apparently many aspies find it hard to focus and rather spend time on their special interests and lack motivation for most other things. The good thing is that concentration can be worked on though and you could probably get help with that if needed.