Boy scouts accepting girls. No safe place for boys.

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^^Well with all respect... I have the feeling I would not be the biggest fan of a few of your parents choices and sentiments. But who am I to judge, barely keeping my own head over the water at times.

Confident parents should be all about spreading the net wide for their children in terms of allowing them to connect and learn from a wealth of individuals (of both genders) on their own terms. I remember when I was 5 or 6 and my mother would force me to go out and play on Saturdays and I would just sit in the basement and wait out the time until I could go home again. At this time a woman in her 20s or so connected with me and would invite me around to her flat to play "mastermind" and we would play for hours. I wish I could find this woman and thank her. She literally threw me a life-line, it was so much more than just sitting there playing this game over and over (she must have been bored stiff) it was recognition that everything is "ok" and it's ok to not want to be social and just do this instead. It was also something my mum would never ever have done with me and a level on which she never would have connected and interacted with me at that age and I felt like a "small adult" and that was really a great feeling.

When I see boys growing up in my immediate environment and I see them being in female dominated institutions for such a significant part of their youth, I do worry about them finding similar role-models and adults to connect with in that similar way. At my daughter's playgroup for example the boys are basically viewed as a gang of destructive and loud hooligans and (in my opinion) often get less constructive input from the teachers. They can be destructive and they can be wild, but I don't see much effort being put into re-directing that energy in creative ways. In school, children are forced to be very still and packed into large classes and once again I see boys being humiliated far more often than girls when they can't achieve the required amount of physical stillness and lack of fidgeting. Seriously, these kids are sometimes just 4 years old when they are required to spend much of the day in passive pursuits. It is not really realistic and whilst detrimental to all, it is particularly detrimental for many of the boys who are young starters. In the same vein most boys are then treated (by adults) as built to be able to sustain a certain level of physical assault without even mentioning it. One of my favourite of my daughter's "boy" friends started school young and has had the worst year of school-ground bullying and being pushed about at an age where he can't even verbalise it with ease and my experience is very much that instead of stepping in adults have taken the line that he should just grin and bear it because this is what is expected of a boy in the playground. It would be interesting to see how they would have responded had it been a girl. Or indeed if it had been a boy behaving to a girl in this way.

In my mind, this would be the only reason to have separate sex pursuits like boy scouts as needs might be quite different at certain ages and so pandering to some "middle ground" might be detrimental to both but then if there were more effective and creative adults involved in leading these groups then perhaps it wouldn't be so much of an issue.

I think elsapelsa lives in an alternate reality.

elsapelsa lives in Sweden. I have some knowledge of this culture because I have a Swedish daughter-in-law and a Swedish grandson. There are elements of Swedish society that are much more egalitarian and community oriented than other Western cultures, especially the US.

Sweden is then the alternate reality.

My husband would agree with you on both accounts.


.....But saying that... I did leave Sweden when I was 15 to live abroad alone and I have managed to survive all over the world ever since without coming to any harm. So.... my alternate reality set me up really well for surviving the world!

My husband would agree with you on both accounts.


.....But saying that... I did leave Sweden when I was 15 to live abroad alone and I have managed to survive all over the world ever since without coming to any harm. So.... my alternate reality set me up really well for surviving the world!