Why won't death accept me?

Post Reply New Topic

There are probably many more "live-in" jobs for women than for men.

I also don't have much in the way of job training and skills. My lack of a college degree is also a hindrance. But in all honesty, it's not that I am not working harder that I am unhappy. It's more that I don't have the special talents I wish I had and how the deck is stacked against me in regards to finding love.

I paid "new book" price for “The Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz, read it, and failed completely to derive anything from it. I gave it away. For books with that result, I'll try again in 5 years or so.

Why won't death accept you?
Because the very last thing on death's mind
is anybody's convenience.

As I said before, even some of the Hispanic Americans I know dislike Don Miguel Ruiz simply because he's not ghetto. Oddly, plenty of the ghetto people in my area go by "Only God can judge me!" despite how they commit crimes. What they are really saying is "I can do what I want even if it's at your expense, mother f****r!" and they get upset when that worldview is challenged.

Surely there must be some people around where you live that arent rednecks or hiphop people. There must be others that hate it where they live too. If you cant move try to make the best of it. Dont be bothered so much what other people think of you. And for goodness sakes please get therapy. I think you need it.

What would it take to relocate?

You say you work full time and also receive some sort of gov't benefits. Does your income leave you with anything to save at the end of the month? Where would you relocate to? How much would it cost to relocate? (For some people a short move might only cost $100, but a long distance one could include flights and visas and all sorts of expensive things.) What support system do you have where you are that you can't obtain elsewhere? (I'm guessing family vs. gov't/ASD supports.) Is it possible to live a better life w/o the family you have around you now? Could some other form of support be substituted?

If you view your geographic location as such a M A S S I V E constraint to your health & happiness, make a plan to change where you are and work towards it.. even if it costs $2500 to move and takes you 25-50 months to save up for.. it's the rest of your LIFETIME that could be better if you're not surrounded by people you despise. It's not healthy to be surrounded by people you hate & that you feel hate you. A one time moving expense could benefit you for the rest of your life more than any book, pill, or therapy ever could.

Incorrect. I work part time and my SSI is withheld by my mother.

It gets better as you get older, just keep staying alive. I'm not sure how old you are but look up "emerging adulthood", a concept everyone should know about.

Because she is legally responsible for managing your finances because you have been deemed incapable of doing so or because she is illegally taking your benefits cheque?

Work + SSI = enough money to survive somewhere else in the USA that doesn't make you suicidal. That's worth moving.

I got an appointment but I have to wait until next month before I can talk to the therapist.

I don't doubt there are non-rednecks and hip hoppers as well as general Bible Belters but they are in the extreme minority and are tightly knit to the point it's very hard to get into their circles. I recently saw a cute Asian girl wearing a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty bag but she had a white geeky looking boyfriend. If I hadn't been discouraged from being my own person, I think I would've become someone like the girl was with.

I'm not even from the bible belt but I do know what its like to have conservative christian parents. I remember when I got into anime it was an uphill battle just to maintain the lvl of interest I had in it. They were against it but they eventually realized what other worse stuff I could be doing so then they got over it. Though I still have the issue of having relocated to a crap hole of the US called GA, they are fearful of everything because as retired folks all they do is watch the news and there's nothing but bad news all on TV.