New guy friend saying he wants to earn my trust?
angelofdarkness
Deinonychus
Joined: 16 Apr 2012
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 346
Location: punxsutawney, pennslyvannia
I kind of made a new friend at work, that ended up adding me on fb. I've talked with him a few times about video games. He and I have been chatting on and off the last few days about different interests and things like our cats. He even asked when my birthday was and offered to get me a gamestop gift card, which I told him he didn't have to. He also asked if I have a hard time trusting people, and told me, he wants to earn my trust. I just feel like this is a lot for someone just becoming friends with me personally, is there a reason to this?
_________________
never give up even if the odds are against you
As I understand it, the best types of friendship involve give and take where each person in the relationship benefits from being friends. In your first sentence, you described this person as a "new friend at work." If your friend wants to give you a gift, what's the problem?
For me, there only two ways that this would be a problem. One problem would be if the gift came with expectations i.e. "I gave you this gift and now you have to sleep with me" which would be sexual harassment and should be reported to HR.
Another problem would be if the gift was way too expensive. I once knew a woman who after ONE DATE with a guy, bought him a car. Who buys someone a car after one date? This woman was moderately well off but NOT rich. The guy panicked. To his credit, he did not accept this car. He also backed off and they never dated again.
Question for you: How do you feel about this guy? Is he really a friend or is he just a friendly colleague?
If he got you a present for your birthday, would you reciprocate by getting him a present for his birthday?
Why does he want to earn your trust? Does his behavior match his words? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to earn someone’s trust, but it takes time. Good luck with your new friendship—I hope he does prove himself trustworthy.
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