I lost my will to live

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Last night, me and my husband got into an argument. I said something that must have triggered him, and for the first time in our relationship, he actually struck me. The result was a slightly broken nose. I went to the hospital for a few hours, and now my husband is in jail. I told cops that he had bipolar disorder, and his meds aren't right (they haven't been for at least a year), but the damage is already done; he has a hearing this morning, and now it will be unlikely that we will see each other for a few days. I got him a birthday present that probably won't be open for a while.

I am very angry with the cops, and how they handled it. I am thinking of taking my husband and our cats to a different state, because I don't agree with the laws here. I am also angry at how everyone's lives are better than mine (even the people here), because they have jobs, spouses who love them, and pets/children who look up to them. I actually sent my SIL angry texts because she is an overall better person than me, and doesn't have autism.

Honestly, I don't know what to do without my husband, we have always been there for each other, and knowing that I'm not allowed to see him now is really hurting me. I don't want to be told that leaving him would be the best option, because again, he never meant to do it, and that I would never find anyone better. He is the only man I know who completely understands me. I have contemplated self-harm since then, and I am losing my will to live. I miss him so badly...

Do whatever you have to do in order to be safe.

Good luck. Hopefully you will be together very soon and can start working out how to move on from this.

Don't blame the cops. In many places, they are required to jail anyone suspected of domestic abuse.

It sounds to me like you and your husband need to go with each other to therapy and psychiatric appointments. You need to support each other. This will require that both of you admit you have problems.

I really do not see your situation as hopeless. Don't give up until you have tried couples/family appointments. (Just don't call it couples therapy or marriage therapy - because then insurance won't pay for it - and besides, you really both need psychiatric care.)

Cops also f***ing lied to me. They said that my husband will see a judge at nine, when it is actually 11.

Honestly, Bea, you are very clueless as to what it is like to have separation anxiety this bad. My husband is not a bad person, and my doctor had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to press charges, to which I said no. How would you feel if your husband was suddenly taken away from you, even if he did something unintentional. I am so scared that last night will be the last time I ever talk to him, I am scared someone there will kill him, or that Kim-Jong Un and Trump will resume with the nuclear war.

I see no silver lining. I have been unemployed for almost 4 years, and my husband for almost a year. I don't know if I can last any longer. I suspected that I am getting ulcers because my stress levels are that bad. I just want to talk to him one last time before I am not allowed to talk to him again.

Honestly, taking my own life is the easiest way to go, I just don't want to suffer anymore.

I just had a massive meltdown. I bit myself and broke things. I'm surprised that the injury I got did not turn into an aneurysm, I want to die from that.

I also get scared sometimes at the thought of nuclear war. I dont know how to help you. I dont think your husband will be taken away from you forever for striking you. Just give this some time and see how it plays out. Eventually you two might be in the clear.

Husband is out of jail, but we can't be together for a while. I am scared that this will go on through his birthday next week. Also some members here seem to be pissing me off (some of them still have loved ones in their lives that they see everyday, why can't I?)

I can't do this anymore, this is a battle that I am losing. All I want to do now is to make everyone's life a living hell. Which reminds me, I got to find the Kardashians and f*****g slit their throats!

Are you on any meds? Something sedating might get you through this period. How long are you and your husband supposed to stay apart?

I don't know, that's the thing.Unfortunately, not even the most helpful of meds will help. I want my Sheppie back.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and I apologize in advance if it's unhelpful.

My guess (and I'm not an expert in this field) is your husband will go before a family court judge and a decision will be made, it could be he is ordered to take anger management classes. If you can go to that same hearing and indicate you want and need to be together with your husband and would like to take couples or domestic abuse counseling together, I imagine it would sway the judge. That's as opposed to a wife who shows up and says she wants a long term restraining order keeping him a long ways away from you.

Hope you can work something out.

The court case already happened, so it's too late to request that. My mom said that she will pull some strings, but I have no confidence in her.

What was the result of the court appearance?

You probably can't see your husband because of an "order of protection."

If he doesn't have any previous convictions for anything, they might put him in "diversion." Meaning, basically, that the case will be wiped from his record after a certain amount of time (provided he doesn't get arrested again).

I'll do some research about how domestic violence works in Ohio.

You really ought to find out precisely what happened in the court appearance. I doubt it, if he doesn't have a record, that a lawyer allowed him to plead guilty.

I probably won't see him until Monday. I got f*****g bills to pay, and now I will never get the new Super Smash Bros. game that is coming out this year. I destroyed everything in the house (including the curio cabinet) because I can't handle it anymore. My mom is checking up on me, but I doubt that I want to see her because the only person I want to see is my husband. I bit myself three times, and oddly enough, I don't feel bad. I am just in a murderous mood right now.

Has anyone suggested CBD oil to you for these episodes? I'm not hugely knowledgeable about it, but these meltdowns almost seem like a type of seizure, and I do know CBD is used for seizures.

Never heard of it until now.

Anyway, just so you guys know what is going on, I may be checking into a mental hospital as a voluntary check-in. It is clear to me that I can't handle anything without my husband. I've already did enough damage to my home, and I don't want to do anymore.

This will also mean that I will be off WP for some time. So if you haven't heard anything from me recently, that's why. I am not ignoring you, I just need some extra help.