Unexpected severe depression, oh joy.

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I had a meeting with my shrink today.

Got hit with the harsh reality that I'm far more depressed and anxious than I had even imagined, to the point that my shrink was concerned for me. Which I would take as a bad sign.

I almost feel as if I don't know who I am, anymore. The picture of myself that I have in my head, which is the basis of my personality, is based on a lie. Or a wishful delusion, if you will.

I'll most likely be getting some kind of assistance with daily routines, like laundry and cleaning my goddamned room.

I thought I had at least some sort of handle on this whole "life"-thing.

Turns out, I don't...

Honestly, I'm hoping for some advice. Or something.

"Got hit with the harsh reality that I'm far more depressed and anxious than I had even imagined, to the point that my shrink was concerned for me. Which I would take as a bad sign."

"reality"? you can't measure depression or anxiety. just serotonin/dopamine.

the current counselor (and almost all the other 35 counselors) totally acted like i had zero emotional resilience. every slightest thing was "a major loss", "horrible", "an unfortunate thing that happened". the current counselor told me she was "helping" me.

"helping"? euphemism. all counselors do is sit around talking. she told me the insurance pays 75 bucks an hour for her.

she told me that she has never seen me angry before but if i get angry "we will deal with it."

wtf?

she made it sound like a Calculus problem.

there are only five emotions. anger is one of them. happy is one of them.

apparrently she acted like in 35 years i never got angry.

she made it sound like i do not know how to deal with anger. she made it sound like she perfectly dealt with anger.

she made it sound like anger was a catastrophe. but anger is not even an event. at least, not any more than happiness is an event.

besides, there are justified reasons to get angry. for example, homophobia.


so if your shrink was "concerned", maybe that does not prove anything.

maybe the counselors tend to exaggerate the problem, so they can act like they are "helping" and being heroes.

if the problem was not that bad (as many problems are), then the counselor would not be required.

Looking at my current situation, i would have to agree with her assessment.

However, your words of warning are warranted.

After my last session, I did have a fairly severe reaction to a realisation. Psychiatry is fun...