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Are meltdowns a form of release for you?

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MrsPeel
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10 Jun 2018, 1:53 am

Lellynelly wrote:
I kind of get what you mean. I’m not sure I schedule a meltdown but I can feel it building up, sometimes over a period of hours, sometimes days, sometimes weeks. If I have a big meltdown/shutdown coming I know around 3 to 4weeks in advance. I can try to keep it at bay but eventually I have to make a concious decision to give in to it. I then can shut down for days or even weeks, depending on how long its been building. Then I gradually come out of it and feel much better til the next one. Since I have discovered I am autistic and these are in fact meltdowns and not bouts of depression I am learning that if I give in to it earlier on it doesnt last as long and I recover quicker.


Those longer-cycling shut-downs that you describe I always think of as "burn-outs".
To me, "meltdowns" wold be the short-term, intense loss of control, where one ends up swearing and kicking things (except that I actually call these "freakouts")
Terminology issues, I guess... :?



Spooky_Mulder
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17 Jun 2018, 1:31 am

Spooky_Mulder wrote:
I have internal rather than external meltdowns in that inside I feel like everything is going haywire, but I lack the physicality of a more severe meltdown. It's not a form of release since I can't control it and it feels like a nightmare every time I experience it. Objectively, I guess it would be a release since it ensures it doesn't build up. Subjectively, I hate it.


Changing this. Tonight, I was pushed into having a full on physical meltdown. It's like the above, but even scarier and it feels like I'm on fire. Definitely not a release for me.



Marybird
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17 Jun 2018, 2:31 am

A meltdown occurs when the part of your brain that controls emotions shuts down.
So there's no controlling it.
I used to feel like a train rec after a meltdown but I haven't had one in a long time and hope i never do again.
I don't think it's a release, more like an explosion.



StarTrekker
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17 Jun 2018, 4:29 am

Yes, I've often told people that sometimes my meltdowns just "need to happen" to reboot the system and wipe the slate clean. That happens for me a lot after several days of little things going wrong that build up and eventually just explode.


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Dear_one
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17 Jun 2018, 8:00 am

For me, a meltdown opens a whole new chapter of problems, like having to move.



Trogluddite
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17 Jun 2018, 8:09 am

I don't "use" meltdowns as a form of release; they're something beyond my control, aside from to avoid the stimuli that bring them on, and I really don't want them to happen - especially the kind where I bolt and am unaware of the dangers I might be putting myself in. At the same time, in the aftermath, I do sometimes have some very pleasant, almost euphoric feelings - as if I have reverted to the simplicity of being a child and I am temporarily devoid of rumination and procrastination from uncontrollable thought processes for a while.


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17 Jun 2018, 11:55 am

If I don't have meltdowns (not sure if I've had shutdowns), does that mean I don't have autism? (Got the main symptoms of Asperger's, though).