People think I'm arguing when I'm explaining things
Sometime I try to understand peoples point of view and explain myself when they think I'm wanting to argue but I'm not, it gets really difficult and people don't always understand me so I have to explain.
They think I'm arguing, there's nothing to argue about, they then get frustrated and yell at me I don't know what to do.
They think I'm arguing, there's nothing to argue about, they then get frustrated and yell at me I don't know what to do.
As someone on the spectrum I like to be clear and am very factual but also emotional. This does come over as dominant sometimes which is not my intent at all. People often see me as confident, calm and assertive when I am none of those things, just very hard to read and it leads to misinterpretations. Hear this from other people on the spectrum as well. They suffer because of it a lot.
It's difficult, people often misinterpret us. Sorry you experience this. Don't blame yourself please, you were born this way, it's not your fault, we just communicate on a different level and they don't understand us very well which is also not their fault. Still, very frustrating. We have each other at least
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Please be good to nature and all animals. Please be kind, respectful and patient with everyone. Equality and equity.
They think I'm arguing, there's nothing to argue about, they then get frustrated and yell at me I don't know what to do.
As someone on the spectrum I like to be clear and am very factual but also emotional. This does come over as dominant sometimes which is not my intent at all. People often see me as confident, calm and assertive when I am none of those things, just very hard to read and it leads to misinterpretations. Hear this from other people on the spectrum as well. They suffer because of it a lot.
It's difficult, people often misinterpret us. Sorry you experience this. Don't blame yourself please, you were born this way, it's not your fault, we just communicate on a different level and they don't understand us very well which is also not their fault. Still, very frustrating. We have each other at least
Yes, this is exactly correct. Often we sound like we are simply declaiming to people, basically saying this is my opinion and yours is therefore wrong. Of course, this is complicated by how touchy NT's can be. You can find yourself in an angry dispute, which you have just started by mistake. How many people on here have heard, 'I don't like your attitude' ? About 100% of us would be my guess.
I have had this issue quite a lot. Sometimes it's because I tend to notice when someone has got a fact or detail wrong, and I then correct them, but it's not out of a sense of mischief or the desire for an argument.
Another thing is that I hate imprecision and tend to see complexities in what most people regard as simple 'yes or no' questions. If someone asks me such a question, I might reply along the lines of 'In some respects yes, and in other respects no - it all depends on what you mean by that'. This can drive the other person to despair, or give up.
I've had people conducting a telephone poll with me put the phone down, as I tend to see many of the questions as ambiguous or unclear, and often ask for clarification, which they are unable or unwilling to give.
I think social isolation can amplify this. If one has regular interaction with people, these tendencies can probably be lessened.
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I'm Doctor Strange
Another thing is that I hate imprecision and tend to see complexities in what most people regard as simple 'yes or no' questions. If someone asks me such a question, I might reply along the lines of 'In some respects yes, and in other respects no - it all depends on what you mean by that'. This can drive the other person to despair, or give up.
I've had people conducting a telephone poll with me put the phone down, as I tend to see many of the questions as ambiguous or unclear, and often ask for clarification, which they are unable or unwilling to give.
I think social isolation can amplify this. If one has regular interaction with people, these tendencies can be lessened.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
That was the story of my life with my parents. They've been very critical of my issues my whole life & put down the way I do things so I started explaining why I did things the way I did them or what I did so they'd get off my back & I'd just get accused of arguing. My mom would even sometimes ask me if I did something or why I did something & 1ce I'd start explaining she'd accuse me of arguing. I started explaining with other people too sometimes due to people tending to judge me & put me down & I'd usually just get accused of arguing. It's like the explaining is a learned defense that just makes things worse for me.
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Wow! That sucks! Sorry you had to go through that, mental abuse right there. True mirroring their own behavior on you. And you being on the spectrum, you did not understand most of it, really tough man.
_________________
Please be good to nature and all animals. Please be kind, respectful and patient with everyone. Equality and equity.
Another thing is that I hate imprecision and tend to see complexities in what most people regard as simple 'yes or no' questions. If someone asks me such a question, I might reply along the lines of 'In some respects yes, and in other respects no - it all depends on what you mean by that'. This can drive the other person to despair, or give up.
I've had people conducting a telephone poll with me put the phone down, as I tend to see many of the questions as ambiguous or unclear, and often ask for clarification, which they are unable or unwilling to give.
I think social isolation can amplify this. If one has regular interaction with people, these tendencies can probably be lessened.
Yet we get on so well.
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We have existence
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
Wow! That sucks! Sorry you had to go through that, mental abuse right there. True mirroring their own behavior on you. And you being on the spectrum, you did not understand most of it, really tough man.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Seems to me with a lot of people that I've spoken to that they just have no concept of any statement or question being neutral. If I'm making a value judgement, I will damned well say so explicitly; otherwise I'm just pointing out a fact or asking because I want/need to know. Seems simple enough to me - don't read between the lines because I'm not communicating anything between the lines (not on purpose, anyway.)
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When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.
They think I'm arguing, there's nothing to argue about, they then get frustrated and yell at me I don't know what to do.
As someone on the spectrum I like to be clear and am very factual but also emotional. This does come over as dominant sometimes which is not my intent at all. People often see me as confident, calm and assertive when I am none of those things, just very hard to read and it leads to misinterpretations. Hear this from other people on the spectrum as well. They suffer because of it a lot.
It's difficult, people often misinterpret us. Sorry you experience this. Don't blame yourself please, you were born this way, it's not your fault, we just communicate on a different level and they don't understand us very well which is also not their fault. Still, very frustrating. We have each other at least
Yes, this is exactly correct. Often we sound like we are simply declaiming to people, basically saying this is my opinion and yours is therefore wrong. Of course, this is complicated by how touchy NT's can be. You can find yourself in an angry dispute, which you have just started by mistake. How many people on here have heard, 'I don't like your attitude' ? About 100% of us would be my guess.
Yeah I see things as they are and ask something that's important to me but not to someone else, its just a way of communicating, trying to have a conversation but apparently others see it as picking on them.
Preach it girl!
_________________
Please be good to nature and all animals. Please be kind, respectful and patient with everyone. Equality and equity.
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