loving a narcissist with BPD

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Kiprobalhato
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16 Jul 2018, 12:45 am

is it possible?


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kraftiekortie
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16 Jul 2018, 2:14 am

They can suck you in......



MrsPeel
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16 Jul 2018, 6:25 am

Sure it's possible.
Just not recommended.



SaveFerris
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16 Jul 2018, 8:47 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
is it possible?


IMO you would not receive true love back from a person who has NPD with a BPD kicker

Can-a-narcissist-fall-in-love


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AngelRho
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16 Jul 2018, 10:31 am

When I promised my wife “no matter what,” I meant it. The circumstances that would drive me to divorce are extreme and unlikely. If she goes crazy, even if it killed me, I would hang in there.

Before her, I had been in a lengthy relationship with a girl. There were many reasons why I left her. One the the main reasons was that I just couldn’t imagine her life being more valuable than my own. I simply could not put up with her kind of crazy.

To answer your question, yes, it’s POSSIBLE. Maybe even noble. You have to decide what this is worth to you.

The problems here are complex in dealing with with those personality disorders. My default solution is ignore the person when they act up and reward them when they act right.

If this is someone you’re just dating, dump ‘em. It doesn’t ever get easier.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jul 2018, 11:13 am

Run.



superaliengirl
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16 Jul 2018, 12:03 pm

Yes. Unfortunately.

My first love was a narcissist, and possibly something else too but I don't know what but BPD was something that I actually suspected after reading a lot about others who acted like him. I believed he was the love of my life, he had a charm that was intense, extremely handsome and could be very loving when it suited him and he could get something out of it. I can see why I loved him so deeply, those people are good manipulators but they can also get threatful when they don't get what they want and they can turn cold on you in a second if you stop being of good use to them. And I mean completely cold like you don't even exist from them having treated you like you're the only girl in the world.

Be very careful. If I could I would go back in time and made sure I had never met him and like I wrote I believed he was the love of my life. None of the few fantastic times we had was worth the pain and realizing he was never genuine. Trust me. Some people get sucked in so bad by narcissists that they get stuck in the abusive relationships they give you for years, maybe even all their life and the longer you're with them the worse the damage.



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16 Jul 2018, 12:27 pm

Of course, but just be careful.


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16 Jul 2018, 5:18 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Run.

For your life! Never, and I mean never, look back.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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16 Jul 2018, 6:27 pm

Instead of asking us if it's possible to love a BPD narcissist, why aren't you asking the more important question of yourself: why do you want to try to love a BPD narcissist? Why try to love someone who harms and abuses you because they are psychologically incapable of having a healthy non-abusive relationship? Those are more important questions to answer, if you ask me.



SilverStar
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16 Jul 2018, 6:32 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
is it possible?



Sure...if you enjoy being on an emotional rollercoaster, with no genuine love returned to you.



B19
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16 Jul 2018, 7:48 pm

Knowledge is power in these situations, and the reality of the phenomenon of "trauma bonding" remains poorly understood, even by psychologists, let alone victims:

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/traum ... c-bonding/



RandomFox
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18 Jul 2018, 12:09 pm

Possible? Yes.
Would you want that though?
If so... why?!

I'd say RUN



AngelRho
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18 Jul 2018, 1:52 pm

B19 wrote:
Knowledge is power in these situations, and the reality of the phenomenon of "trauma bonding" remains poorly understood, even by psychologists, let alone victims:

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/traum ... c-bonding/

Oh yes, thanks for posting that. I’ve suggested something similar in the past.

My theory was that drama stimulates neurons in such a way that the recipient of abuse experiences a strange sort of high, like with a drug. So I think this might be best dealt as an addiction. Addiction is really more of a symptom. Treat the underlying problem and the patient won’t continue to escape into self-destructive behavior.

The traumatic bonding thing sounds very similar and certainly does explain a few things.



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18 Jul 2018, 2:16 pm

Yes, but don't. These people do not value other people. They will not change and you cannot cure them. You will be used and then abandoned. Don't do it.