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Fetika
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20 Feb 2018, 1:49 am

A.S. is the only reality. Proof :
Once upon a time a very old man with a long white beard wearing a long white tunic walked into a psychoanalyst's office. The practitioner (Psy) asked him
Psy: What can I do for you?
The old man (OM) replied
OM: I wanted to do well. I swear I had no bad intention!
Psy: About what?
OM: Well, I was kind of alone. I tried to play with things. I like spirals. So I played with spirals for a long time.
Psy: I don't see any problem with that
OM: Well, I was kind of alone. I tried to play with things. I like balls. Round things. So I played with ball and put balls in the spirals for a long time.
Psy: I still don't see any problem with that.
OM: Well, I was kind of alone. I kinda got tired playing with things. I wanted to play with people.
Psy: I still don't see any problem with that. Let us start at the beginning
OM: Well, I was kind of alone. I wanted to play with people. So at the beginning I created the world. And look at what I did!! !



IstominFan
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20 Feb 2018, 10:24 am

If there were such a thing as a Denis Istomin fan club, I would definitely be a member. I haven't seen any good fan sites related to Denis. I went on one site and they said some nasty things about him. I thought, "What kind of fan site is this? They don't know anything about Istomin."



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10 Mar 2018, 6:57 pm

There've been several variations of the "how many people does it take to change a lightbulb? joke" in this discussion thread.

I’m basing this on actual (mundane) experiences of changing lightbulbs; where I was usually the one who changed the lightbulbs. Only one other person was present, and chuckled at my brief lightbulb jokes.

* One to change the lightbulb (while anticipating “comments” from the others).

* Another to dig-up forgotten TECH. specs on this particular lightbulb maker and compare its expected life-cycle in years versus how long the bulb actually lasted!

* Another to comment on the incandescent, and flourescent type lightbulbs.

* Another to note, and exercise the proper waste disposal of lightbulbs; as well as to mention various recycling practices of making new products out of old-lightbulb scrap.

* And finally, another to note that we are doing the work of only three-guys, Larry, Moe and Curly of ‘The Three Stooges.’



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10 Mar 2018, 9:32 pm

LostInEmulation wrote:
What is the difference between an extroverted and an introverted aspie?

The extroverted Aspie looks at your shoes when talking to you.

Love it :lol:


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Fetika
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11 Mar 2018, 10:09 am

About the "How many aspies does it take to change a light bulb" joke, the answer is "one for every change".
Usually only Aspies are perseverant and obsessed enough to search, work and test many years to change a lightbulb.
All others REPLACE the lightbulb.
Image



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11 Mar 2018, 10:19 am

This is not quite a joke but a good quip, by Anne Hegerty, quiz champion and British celebrity-
‘People say to me, we heard you suffer from Asperger’s or autism. And I say no, I HAVE Asperger’s. I suffer from idiots.’


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Fetika
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11 Mar 2018, 11:41 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
And I say no, I HAVE Asperger’s.

Personally I disagree. I don't HAVE Asperger's ; i AM an Asperger's autistic. You can have measles, flu, cancer. But do you HAVE manhood or femininity, or ARE you a man or a woman? I never GOT Asperger's syndrom : I was born like this (and not "with it"). It is part of me just like the color of my skin. Only more precious.


This reminds me this incident which actually happened to me.
She: "Is it true that you suffer from Asperger's Autism?"
Me : "No".
She: "My son told me you told him so".
Me: "Certainly not!"
He: "You told me yesterday you have been diagnosed as an Aspie."
Me: "That is exact."
She: "Then you do suffer from Asperger's Autism!"
Me: "No. I enjoy every second of it."



blooiejagwa
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11 Mar 2018, 11:44 am

She is a rather wonderful lady who has done enough to further respect and understanding of Autistics using media interviews. Her intent was excellent as she pointed out that although we may be a nuisance to people THEY also need to learn how to approach US. It cannot all be one way , us striving to be acceptablez

But i see your point.


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11 Mar 2018, 12:15 pm

Fetika wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
And I say no, I HAVE Asperger’s.

Personally I disagree. I don't HAVE Asperger's ; i AM an Asperger's autistic. You can have measles, flu, cancer. But do you HAVE manhood or femininity, or ARE you a man or a woman? I never GOT Asperger's syndrom : I was born like this (and not "with it"). It is part of me just like the color of my skin. Only more precious.


This reminds me this incident which actually happened to me.
She: "Is it true that you suffer from Asperger's Autism?"
Me : "No".
She: "My son told me you told him so".
Me: "Certainly not!"
He: "You told me yesterday you have been diagnosed as an Aspie."
Me: "That is exact."
She: "Then you do suffer from Asperger's Autism!"
Me: "No. I enjoy every second of it."


I use identity first language to describe my Aspergers/Autism but I since I have not lived her life I will not disagree with her choice to use person first language. That quip is a funny variation on Tony Attwood’s statement that Aspies do not suffer from Aspergers but people.


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11 Mar 2018, 2:01 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
This is not quite a joke but a good quip, by Anne Hegerty, quiz champion and British celebrity-
‘People say to me, we heard you suffer from Asperger’s or autism. And I say no, I HAVE Asperger’s. I suffer from idiots.’


Well said!



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11 Mar 2018, 3:12 pm

This joke is more about NTs than aspies from my perspective but:

NT guy:
- Want to go with me to drink some coffee?
AS girl:
- I don't like coffee.

NT guy walks away, depressed. AS girl is left confused:
- Why didn't he ask "How about some tea then?".



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13 Mar 2018, 12:08 pm

When I got up this morning , my GF had put a note on the refrigerator door saying "This is not working , goodbye".
I opened the refrigerator and it works just fine :?:


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lostonearth35
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13 Mar 2018, 12:22 pm

Okay, fine... :|

If adult aspies got gold star stickers like kids get in school, it would probably be for things like this:

:star: Actually went out today. Awesome!
:star: Made eye contact for over 30 seconds. Way to go!
:star: Didn't take something literally. Good for you!
:star: Only cried once today. Nice work!



pluto
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13 Mar 2018, 5:25 pm

What do you call a group of Aspies ?
A cast of Aspersions.


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Fetika
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13 Mar 2018, 7:00 pm

pluto wrote:
What do you call a group of Aspies ?
A cast of Aspersions.


Sorry Pluto, English is still somewhat a foreign language to me. So I don't get your joke. Could you either rephrase or explain it to me please? Thanks in advance.



SaveFerris
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14 Mar 2018, 5:28 am

Fetika wrote:
pluto wrote:
What do you call a group of Aspies ?
A cast of Aspersions.


Sorry Pluto, English is still somewhat a foreign language to me. So I don't get your joke. Could you either rephrase or explain it to me please? Thanks in advance.


It's a play on words

cast aspersions - say harsh critical things about someone or someone's character

cast - throw (something) forcefully in a specified direction
cast - a group of actors

aspersion - a false or misleading charge meant to harm someone's reputation


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