Page 1 of 5 [ 66 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

athaga
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 10

04 Jul 2005, 6:39 am

Hello everybody!
A few weeks ago my bestfriend asked me why i didn't want to be touched by anyone.I hadn't noticed it before but it is true!!
I think it is really annoying and i don't understand why we have to touch people.
So, does it bother you?why?

Sorry for my english!



Nomaken
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,058
Location: 31726 Windsor, Garden City, Michigan, 48135

04 Jul 2005, 6:53 am

Among all the qualities of aspergers and autism which I am 100% like, the 2 qualities i don't have are contact preference, and orderliness.

My room is like a rats nest - i don't lose anything, i remember where everything is. I could name the locations of objects in my room without looking. And the mess moves in predictable ways, like the gulf stream. So my mess is orderly in its own way, but it wouldn't look that way to anyone else.

As for contact, i love contact, i want to cuddle more than anything else in my life. My ideal existance would be to work at home, and cuddle with my partner the entire time, have a seat capable of supporting 2 people, while we play online games together. Eat while cuddling. In a big soft blankey. And if ever i must leave my partner i must have my big soft blankey. And a kitty. My kitty likes to cuddle as opposed to most kitties.



Prometheus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,506
Location: Through the plexiglass

04 Jul 2005, 7:03 am

What I really hate is unaticipated contact. If you hug me from behind or grab my arm without warning, it's like someone grabbing your privates in a public suituation for me. Very uncomfortable. I can hug people outside of my intermediate family, but am not very comfortable with it. But I don't mind hugging my intermediate family and enjoy that. Its more of a personal space issue/closseness thing for me.


_________________
All your bass are belong to us.


MishLuvsHer2Boys
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Oct 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,491
Location: Canada

04 Jul 2005, 7:37 am

Yeah light unanticipated touch makes me feel uncomfortable, it's a tactile sensory defensiveness. Orderliness I have my own form of chaotic order that if disturbed, overstimulates me and I get upset.



larsenjw92286
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington

04 Jul 2005, 8:11 am

It doesn't matter to me whether people physically touch me, but I like it very, very much when people emotionally touch me. However, a situation occurred with me not too long ago. Someone who apparently did emotionally touch me told me that it was great getting to know her while we kept in touch. I said something that I think may have offended her, so I don't think we're on speaking terms right now. Not knowing how to interact is a fairly common problem for people with AS.

However, when other people touch me, I never forget the feeling.


_________________
Jason Larsen
[email protected]


Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

04 Jul 2005, 9:16 am

Nomaken wrote:
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Posts: 230
Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:53 pm    
Post subject:
-----------------
Among all the qualities of aspergers and autism which
I am 100% like, the 2 qualities i don't have are contact
preference, and orderliness.


OK......!

nomaken wrote:
My room is like a rats nest - i don't lose anything, i
remember where everything is. I could name the
locations of objects in my room without looking.
And the mess moves in predictable ways, like the
gulf stream. So my mess is orderly in its own way,
but it wouldn't look that way to anyone else.


Alot of people are like that, be they NT, or Autistic!
Hmmmmm?

nomaken wrote:
As for contact, i love contact, i want to cuddle more
than anything else in my life.


Now I am going to ask a few Hmmm? questions!

1)...From reading posts and watching Magic and Hilary,
I am curious to the fact that these are more more HFA
like trait(the cuddling) and not so much Aspergers, of
which has less tendecies to do so!

nomaken wrote:
My ideal existance would be to work at home, and cuddle
with my partner the entire time, have a seat capable of
supporting 2 people, while we play online games together.
Eat while cuddling. In a big soft blankey. And if ever i must
leave my partner i must have my big soft blankey. And a
kitty. My kitty likes to cuddle as opposed to most kitties.


You seem to have that pet and person cuddling thing
that is Autistic related, not Aspergers related(or distance
is preferred approach). Hmmmmmm?

Otherwise, Hows it going? I will say this cuddling thing
is a HFA thing, not Aspergers!

Hmmmmm?
Ghosthunter
Hmmmmm? Slight dramatic pause......! !! !! !! !! !! !!



Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

04 Jul 2005, 9:20 am

Prometheus wrote:
Phoenix
Joined: May 06, 2005
Posts: 605
Location: Somewhere in La-La land (Cleveland)
Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 10:03 pm    Post subject:
-----------------------------------------------------
What I really hate is unaticipated contact. If you hug me
from behind or grab my arm without warning, it's like
someone grabbing your privates in a public suituation for me.


Interesting, but expressive take on this!

Promth wrote:
Very uncomfortable. I can hug people outside of my
intermediate family, but am not very comfortable with it.


Hmmmmm? Why? What is it that you feel, think, and
hide?

promth wrote:
But I don't mind hugging my intermediate family and enjoy
that. Its more of a personal space issue/closseness thing for me.


How does it invade your personal space emotionally?
How does it invade your personal space physically?

Hmmmmm?
Ghosthunter



Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

04 Jul 2005, 9:23 am

MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 09, 2004
Posts: 483
Location: Digby, Nova Scotia, Canada
Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 10:37 pm    
Post subject:
-----------------
Yeah light unanticipated touch makes me feel
uncomfortable, it's a tactile sensory defensiveness.


Hmmm? Ok! can you elaborate on this, if you choose?

mish wrote:
Orderliness I have my own form of chaotic order that if
disturbed, overstimulates me and I get upset.


This is normal for most people, be they tidy-freaks like
my birth-mom, or slobs(like the roll players I used to
be ignored by :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: )

Hmmmm?
Ghosthunter



Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

04 Jul 2005, 9:27 am

larsenjw92286 wrote:
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 343
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:11 pm    
Post subject:
---------------
It doesn't matter to me whether people physically
touch me, but I like it very, very much when people
emotionally touch me.


Hmmmm? ASD?, HFA?

larsen wrote:
However, a situation occurred with me not too long ago.
Someone who apparently did emotionally touch me told
me that it was great getting to know her while we kept
in touch. I said something that I think may have offended her,
so I don't think we're on speaking terms right now. Not
knowing how to interact is a fairly common problem for
people with AS.


Again, I have my doubts that Aspergers and touch go hand
and hand!! !! ! Hmmmmmm? slight dramatic pause.....!

Ghosthunter



Last edited by Ghosthunter on 04 Jul 2005, 11:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

larsenjw92286
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington

04 Jul 2005, 10:04 am

Ghosthunter:

I have AS, without question. I doubt that touch has anything to do with AS as well.


_________________
Jason Larsen
[email protected]


duncvis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Sep 2004
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,642
Location: The valleys of green and grey

04 Jul 2005, 10:15 am

Unexpected touch is horrible particularly light touch - like being crawled on. Back/shoulder slappers irritate the s**t out of me, I have to restrain myself from clouting them (though they don't usually do it twice :twisted: )

I love cuddles though, if I actually want one - I like the pressure and comfort. I'm very tactile and love touching other people as well. :)


_________________
I'm usually smarter than this.

www.last.fm/user/nursethescreams <<my last.fm thingy

FOR THE HORDE!


Scoots5012
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,397
Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa

04 Jul 2005, 12:34 pm

<--- Thinks of other people touching him
<--- Shudders at the thought

Mom said that even as an infant, if she or someone else tried to pick me up, I would scream and resist. People other than my parents would be suprised by this, they had never seen this before in a baby. No one though in 1979 knew about tactile defensiveness.

One thankgiving when I was little, most likely '81, an uncle picked me up and spun me around over his head. I was so tramatized by the experience that I couldn't even scream.

Just the other week, a customer a work put his hand around my shoulder, I wanted to run away screaming.

I think that all of us could use the services of temple grandin's squeeze box.


_________________
I live my life to prove wrong those who said I couldn't make it in life...


Namiko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,433

04 Jul 2005, 1:04 pm

If certain people touch me, it doesn't bother me. I have one friend and every time we see each other, we greet one another by exchanging a hug (the ones kind of like you see the gymnasts do when they don't even look at each other). I also have another friend that I always sneak up behind her and pounce on her shoulders at school. Needless to say, she's gotten used to it and sometimes does it to me (but usually I can hear her coming).

I hate it when people bump me or accidently touch my shoulder or something. (Or my feet in swim practice, but that's fairly common.)


_________________
Itaque incipet.
All that glitters is not gold but at least it contains free electrons.


Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

04 Jul 2005, 2:12 pm

scoots wrote:
Just the other week, a customer a work put
his hand around my shoulder, I wanted to run
away screaming.


What I find interesting about this is the coping
skill that you developed not to run!

At Quizno's, when the line was bombarded
by finicky customers I would want to walk away.
But I didn't unless I pushed too far my coping skill.

Very good coping skill!

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter



Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

04 Jul 2005, 2:18 pm

Namiko wrote:
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 14, 2005
Posts: 65
Location: Through the Wardrobe
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:04 am    
Post subject:
-------------------------------
If certain people touch me, it doesn't bother me.
I have one friend and every time we see each other,
we greet one another by exchanging a hug (the
ones kind of like you see the gymnasts do when
they don't even look at each other). I also have another
friend that I always sneak up behind her and pounce
on her shoulders at school. Needless to say, she's
gotten used to it and sometimes does it to me (but
usually I can hear her coming).

I hate it when people bump me or accidently touch
my shoulder or something. (Or my feet in swim
practice, but that's fairly common.)


Social bumping and nudging, especially in crowded
coffee shops(were I usually wifi) and noisy outdoors,
and the worst, MALL! Yech! are unavoidable. I too
personally don't like being bumped into, but that can't
always be avoided.

This is why I prefered to avoid the Starbucks on
O'ffarrell and Powell until after 11pm. Too small
and too bumpy of crowd.



Civet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,342

04 Jul 2005, 2:53 pm

Quote:
Mom said that even as an infant, if she or someone else tried to pick me up, I would scream and resist. People other than my parents would be suprised by this, they had never seen this before in a baby. No one though in 1979 knew about tactile defensiveness.


I was the same, except that I would behave only with my mother, and only sometimes.

Quote:
I hate it when people bump me or accidently touch my shoulder or something.


Yes, that is the thing that irritates me the most.