Be touched

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I enjoy hugs. However, I perfer to hug someone that I have known for a while. Many girls have said I am a great hugger but some have said I hug too hard and I should not squeeze so tight. I guess they feel I'm trying to suffocate them. I do not like it when others, especially strangers, tap me on the back. I'd rather hug and cuddle than have someone touch my privates.

I agree; hugs are really nice.

I particularly enjoy hugging girls I know; not girlfriends (never had the benefit of one), but female friends. Over the years, I learned the NT "hug etiquette", so I know how to give the right amount of pressure when I hug someone. I also figured out how to vary the pressure, depending on whether the girl is really skinny, full-figured, or in between.
I also like slow-dancing, or any dancing that involved close contact, like a double-embrace.
Cuddling while watching a movie is nice too.

Ironically, I haven't hugged a family member in years. I also have a problem with huggings co-workers, teachers, instructors, etc; basically, anyone with whom I do not have a personal relationship. The exception is when they're girls my age and I feel comfortable in their presence.

Your privates are on your back? o_O

I think Aaron might be implying that touching the back is like touching the privates; a very uncomfortable experience...

Hmmm, interesting. Now I see why my family isn't exactly a cuddly one. I think I can count the times my mother, grandmother and especially grandfather have hugged me. They all have some aspie traits including my aunt who never liked being touched at all and would get mean if you tried. I'm most at ease with sharing contact toward boyfriends or my biological father but with others, it depends on the quality of the relationship.

I hate being touched in any way unless it's by a girlfriend. Alright, I don't mind shaking hands, or if I'm playing a contact sport (which is next to never because I suck at sport), but unnecessary touching pisses me off.

I hate to be touched. Its like skin crawling. Even when I was younger I couldn't stand to be picked up. Now I can't even stand having some one put their arm around me unexpectedly.

Hmmmm...when I was younger I couldn't stand touch.It was painful and uncomfortable to me.But I have learned to tolerate it.But unexpected touching,such as if someone just walks up to me and all of a sudden grabs me,startles me and it may cause me to lash out at them.

SpaceCase

I usually give one-armed hugs to non-family members. I don't know any hug etiquette, but I don't like false enthusiasm and won't use it when hugging.

Eh...hugging is okay...

SpaceCase

I hit people who touch me without warning.

I hate shaking hands for the most part all "adults" want to do that with 19 year old me and I cant stand touching them so if neither of my parents are there and its not a situation where I have to I sometimes just look at it and get them to put it down.

But unless its skin to skin contact I generally dont care I just hate feeling them.

I'm very anxious when it comes to physical contact with people.

But I REALLY want to get over this - it's really constricting my personal life.

Anyone got any ideas or suggestions?

if I tried to get someone to shake my hand and they didn't shake it, I would feel hurt.

Is this touching issue this common?

I used to be like that, For many years I couldnt stand being touced exept by my significant other.

In the last few years with good therapy I've found I like giving hugs and recieving them. But for a lot of my life the idea filled me with revulsion.

I am so happy to have found somewhere that someone else says tactile defensiveness. I used this term at work the other day and they went What?

Anyway I hate to be touched by anyone I don't know very well and that I don't trust. I am however, a hug junkie for my husband's hugs. The one thing that will often calm me down is his hug. It is like a drug for me. Big issue is that he is extremely well trained to not show emotions and hugging is very uncomfortable for him. We have however, learned to compromise.

Last edited by yealc on 06 Aug 2005, 9:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.